Originally posted by Hand of Hecate I wasn't warned and the pleasantly full sensation I managed to maintain seemed like positive reinforcement. Even now I yearn for funnel cakes... sweet, sweet funnel cakes.
Originally posted by Hand of Hecate Possibly... However, my life is committed to God through Jesus Christ and, therefore, Christ lives withing me. If Christ lives within me, my decisions must reflect his prescence. As a result, my flaming hoop of fire is God's fault... Plus, Christ died on the cross to save us from our sins and is the sin of gluttony not worthy of his sacrifice?... Arrgh! I need absolution or perhaps an exorcism!
I doubt it. Checking for Jesus in your toilet bowl is a logically inconsistent act.
Either you believe God exists, in which case you believe he is omnipresent and thus in your toilet bowl by his very nature, or you don't believe he exists and thus can't exist in your toilet bowl.
Originally posted by DoctorScribbles I doubt it. Checking for Jesus in your toilet bowl is a logically inconsistent act.
Either you believe God exists, in which case you believe he is omnipresent and thus in your toilet bowl by his very nature, or you don't believe he exists and thus can't exist in your toilet bowl.
True, so HoH's failure to see Jesus in the toilet bowl was trivial; he didn't even look.
Sorry, I didn't see his post above. I wonder if HoH's spleen has dreads, sandals and puncture wounds.
Drink a big glass of water. Eat something with fiber; an apple or two, maybe some oatmeal. Get a cheap paperback and take it into the tub. Every time you feel the need, go void yourself, wipe well, and get back in the tub. The bath will keep acid from burning your ring until you've gotten rid of it all.
Originally posted by Hand of Hecate I need someone to put in a good word for me with JESUS and ask him if he can cure the screaming squirts I've had since Saturday afternoon when I ate two Smoked Turkey Legs, chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches, several funnel cakes, strawberries, corn on a stick, a Polish sausage, sushi, fried rice, steak, jumbo shrimp, fruit smoothy, saki, gato ...[text shortened]... orment... I've blown the o-ring out in my aching bunghole. JESUS save my ravaged poopshoot!
Faith probably could heal that but you'd need someone to act as a conduit and you're a bit old for priests to be touching you there.
Originally posted by XanthosNZ Faith probably could heal that but you'd need someone to act as a conduit and you're a bit old for priests to be touching you there.
Fortunately the asspocalypse I have been dealing with has, despite severe cramping, slowed down considerably. However, perhaps I can find a a priest to act as a 'conduit' for me later on... just as a precaution you understand?
Originally posted by Hand of Hecate Fortunately the asspocalypse I have been dealing with has, despite severe cramping, slowed down considerably. However, perhaps I can find a a priest to act as a 'conduit' for me later on... just as a precaution you understand?
Be especially careful when be conjugated, I think pooping on a priest is a mortal sin.
17 May '06 18:02
Can you faith heal the squirts?
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