18 Sep '05 08:12>
its nearly 4 AM here, and im sitting here in front of my computerr typing thinking about how i can never go back to where i once was. i look at myself just a frrew years ago and everything has changed. and i begin to woinder if i was just ignoratnt eboyugh to not think without somone thiunking for me, how evrerything would be different right now. i would be genuinely happy. i wpould go to bed withought giving it a second thought. i would just do the routine over and over again, convinced that no matter what, the shining gates would be there at the end ogf they elllow brick road. as l9ng as i followed the rules, everything would be ok. then everything came crashing down. nothing was simple anymore. the questioning would not stop. and does not to this day. one considers this to be a good thing. byut sometimes i wonder would i be happier hjust being another villager oin a villeage with some cows and horses and bel8ef sysytem, thinking that it was all ok, and eternity was just waiting over the horizon. sometimes i wish i could be back to where i was. once u enter into something, u can never go back. and even if u can go bacl, it will neevr bee the same. never. what depresses me more is thatr at times it almost feels like i was happier not knowing what i now know. why canht i just believe it? can intellignence be a curse?? is that even possible?? if so, i REALLY feel sorry for the geniuses. or maybe i shoulkdnt, because they would be SO smart they would know everything, and be far superior in thought process, thinking beyond dimensions that most of us only dream about. the fairytale ending is one of wonder and amazement that just seems like a fairytale at the end. hope keeps on driving me on, but i fear that one day that hope will burn out loike a candle against a sharp gust of wind.
on a side note, im sorry that this thread has nothing to do with the title, but if it gives u any consolation, i actually started writing this thread with the intention of writing and critiquing the work of oasis, "champagne supernova", before i got way off track and decided to say "fcuk it" and write about the ramblings that happen to be going on inside my head tonite.
on a side, side note, this song kciks as$$ and u should all download it immediate;ly.
on a side note, im sorry that this thread has nothing to do with the title, but if it gives u any consolation, i actually started writing this thread with the intention of writing and critiquing the work of oasis, "champagne supernova", before i got way off track and decided to say "fcuk it" and write about the ramblings that happen to be going on inside my head tonite.
on a side, side note, this song kciks as$$ and u should all download it immediate;ly.