1. Donationkirksey957
    Outkast
    With White Women
    Joined
    31 Jul '01
    Moves
    91452
    02 Aug '07 00:05
    They pass out the collection plates full of money to take to get people to stay.
  2. SubscriberAThousandYoung
    Just another day
    tinyurl.com/y8wgt7a5
    Joined
    23 Aug '04
    Moves
    24791
    02 Aug '07 00:24
    Originally posted by kirksey957
    They pass out the collection plates full of money to take to get people to stay.
    Church so boring the people want to see more of the Preachers' Wife.
  3. Standard memberDoctorScribbles
    BWA Soldier
    Tha Brotha Hood
    Joined
    13 Dec '04
    Moves
    49088
    02 Aug '07 00:481 edit
    Church so boring, I started reading the Bible to pass the time.
  4. Donationkirksey957
    Outkast
    With White Women
    Joined
    31 Jul '01
    Moves
    91452
    02 Aug '07 01:09
    Church so boring the sleep disorder clinic sends their patients there.
  5. Donationkirksey957
    Outkast
    With White Women
    Joined
    31 Jul '01
    Moves
    91452
    02 Aug '07 01:19
    Church so boring that even bringing the rattlesnakes out didn't wake anyone up.
  6. Earth
    Joined
    20 Oct '06
    Moves
    2190
    02 Aug '07 05:36
    Originally posted by kirksey957
    Church so boring that even bringing the rattlesnakes out didn't wake anyone up.
    Looks like people are beginning to lose interest and are not willing to jump on your band wagons.
  7. Standard memberwittywonka
    Chocolate Expert
    Cocoa Mountains
    Joined
    26 Nov '06
    Moves
    19249
    02 Aug '07 06:23
    Church so boring, the pastor scheduled a revival every day for a whole year.
  8. Standard memberwittywonka
    Chocolate Expert
    Cocoa Mountains
    Joined
    26 Nov '06
    Moves
    19249
    02 Aug '07 06:271 edit
    Church so boring, the pastor had to sneak whoopie cushions under the pew cushions.
  9. Standard memberirontigran
    Rob Scheider is..
    A Stapler!
    Joined
    26 Jun '06
    Moves
    59283
    02 Aug '07 06:51
    Originally posted by wittywonka
    Church so boring, the pastor had to sneak whoopie cushions under the pew cushions.
    heheh good one 🙂
  10. Joined
    02 Aug '06
    Moves
    12622
    02 Aug '07 11:471 edit
    Our church meetings are very exciting. We do not have a clergy laity set up. Rather we practice "All saints prophesying" meetings. Each person is given about three minutes to teach, testify, pray, share a word of encouragement.


    We encourage all to speak as the Apostle Paul said "You may all prophesey one by one."

    We have responsible elders. But they do not crush the function of other members. Each person is allowed to speak something for the Lord in about three minutes. Then you get 30 or 40 people sharing encouraging words and all are edified.

    It is the clergy laity system which limits the proper function of all the members of the BODY of Christ. One man speaking scenarios week after week, month after month, year after year IS BORING.

    So we came back to a more biblical way of meeting.
  11. Standard memberDaemon Sin
    I'm A Mighty Pirate™
    PaTROLLING the forum
    Joined
    01 Dec '04
    Moves
    36332
    02 Aug '07 11:49
    Originally posted by jaywill
    ... of all the members of the Boby of Christ ...
    Booby?
  12. Joined
    02 Aug '06
    Moves
    12622
    02 Aug '07 11:51
    Originally posted by Daemon Sin
    Booby?
    Body. Thanks.
  13. Standard memberspiritmangr8ness
    Doh!!! Or--Are--I
    Springfield, USA
    Joined
    22 Jun '06
    Moves
    5936
    02 Aug '07 13:13
    Church is so boring, when I'm not sleep I spend my time trying to figure out if Ned Flanders kids are gay. Dohh!
  14. Joined
    05 Jan '04
    Moves
    45179
    02 Aug '07 13:17
    Originally posted by jaywill
    Our church meetings are very exciting. We do not have a clergy laity set up. Rather we practice "All saints prophesying" meetings. Each person is given about three minutes to teach, testify, pray, share a word of encouragement.


    We encourage all to speak as the Apostle Paul said "You may all prophesey one by one."

    We have responsible elders. But th ...[text shortened]... r month, year after year IS BORING.

    So we came back to a more biblical way of meeting.
    That's not funny at all.
  15. Donationkirksey957
    Outkast
    With White Women
    Joined
    31 Jul '01
    Moves
    91452
    02 Aug '07 15:51
    Church so boring they built the Crystal Meth Cathedral to ensure everyone returned.

    (Apologies to all who are unfamiliar with the Crystal Cathedral).
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