Church so boring

They pass out the collection plates full of money to take to get people to stay.

Originally posted by kirksey957
They pass out the collection plates full of money to take to get people to stay.

Church so boring, I started reading the Bible to pass the time.

Church so boring the sleep disorder clinic sends their patients there.

Church so boring that even bringing the rattlesnakes out didn't wake anyone up.

Originally posted by kirksey957
Church so boring that even bringing the rattlesnakes out didn't wake anyone up.

Church so boring, the pastor scheduled a revival every day for a whole year.

Church so boring, the pastor had to sneak whoopie cushions under the pew cushions.

Originally posted by wittywonka
Church so boring, the pastor had to sneak whoopie cushions under the pew cushions.

Our church meetings are very exciting. We do not have a clergy laity set up. Rather we practice "All saints prophesying" meetings. Each person is given about three minutes to teach, testify, pray, share a word of encouragement.


We encourage all to speak as the Apostle Paul said "You may all prophesey one by one."

We have responsible elders. But they do not crush the function of other members. Each person is allowed to speak something for the Lord in about three minutes. Then you get 30 or 40 people sharing encouraging words and all are edified.

It is the clergy laity system which limits the proper function of all the members of the BODY of Christ. One man speaking scenarios week after week, month after month, year after year IS BORING.

So we came back to a more biblical way of meeting.

Originally posted by jaywill
... of all the members of the Boby of Christ ...

Originally posted by Daemon Sin
Booby?

Church is so boring, when I'm not sleep I spend my time trying to figure out if Ned Flanders kids are gay. Dohh!

Originally posted by jaywill
Our church meetings are very exciting. We do not have a clergy laity set up. Rather we practice "All saints prophesying" meetings. Each person is given about three minutes to teach, testify, pray, share a word of encouragement.


We encourage all to speak as the Apostle Paul said "You may all prophesey one by one."

We have responsible elders. But th ...[text shortened]... r month, year after year IS BORING.

So we came back to a more biblical way of meeting.

Church so boring they built the Crystal Meth Cathedral to ensure everyone returned.

(Apologies to all who are unfamiliar with the Crystal Cathedral).