This stuff about being "defeated" and a "backslider" is purely from the point of view of the person who continues to subscribe to the beliefs and is meaningless to the person who no longer believes.
I think that would be obvious.
Anyway, I had a time as a young boy when God was real to me. Then I had a long dark tunnel in which I was apathetic, having too much "fun" to think about it, agnostic, Deist, Zen Buddhist, Rosecrucian, and probably some other purely self invented philosophies.
Then I was the lost sheep brought back by the Good Shepherd.
Now I am talking about ME. I am speaking of my experience.
I remember those days as a backslidden Christian who had amnesia. I simply could not remember how Christ was real to me before. I didn't even understand the relationship of God and Jesus.
I had amnesia for some years. And I could be sarcastic and skeptical.
Maybe because of this I can be very patient with some skeptical people.
(Some).