Giving the Devil his due

Originally posted by 7ate9
it did reduce pain, but it was pleasure in weird way for me also.

Picking my scabs as a rapscallion is as close as I've come to the experience.

Originally posted by 7ate9
the experience is not very nice

But you claim you derived pleasure from it (the skin-cutting). So, at the very least, it's ambiguous.

Originally posted by 7ate9
probably the same sort of buzz a base jumper would get, but the high carries on as blood starts to come out your arms. it kind of takes away the thoughts going around in your head, by 'electrocuting' those messed up thoughts.

it isn't good though cause your like at a point where you're close to ending your own life. crying and thinking about those you're gonna leave behind.

This probably isn't nice for you to recall, but can I make some more observations, and ask some more questions?

There is a distinction between the cutting and the bleeding.

It strikes me that the cutting could ease psychological pain by distracting attention from it. The blood produced could merely be a secondary by-product.

Or bleeding itself, or the blood produced, could itself have an effect. For example, it strikes me that the realization that significant blood is flowing might either distract attention, or create a sense of relief, or both.

I have a further suspicion: doing oneself a self-injury may relieve guilt. It's a form of physical atonement for felt (but not necessarily real) psychological guilt.

What do you think?

Originally posted by 7ate9
it's pretty hard to say if it was guilt, cause it was just something i became after my friend hung himself. i had a picture of him in hell, and i was always depressed, cause i wanted to go there and give him a hug and take care of him kind of thing. it's confusing.

i don't think the blood really meant that much, as it was just a measurement of how bad i had ...[text shortened]... you've done enough cuts and your arms all red, the suicidal thoughts just kind of stop.

That's informative.

However, I think we should turn to brighter topics: this is pretty heavy stuff, and my curiosity isn't enough to justify you dwelling on it.

So, what's your favorite type of anything -- food, music, etc.?

Originally posted by 7ate9
i don't mind talking about it, cause i don't have any problems with it anymore. it was just a lot of confusion when i was like that, so it's hard to talk about. i'm actually enjoying talking about it, cause it's a real problem for some people. i'll stop though.

So, what's your favorite type of anything -- food, music, etc.?

Originally posted by Pawnokeyhole
What does your control of these elements amount to? Could you give me an example?

ok, for instance, being able to control fire, i can manipulate to a point, same with earth, air, and water. Akasha, generaly ability in that is needed only in a preistess, because the one use of it is for rituals, and light and dark, fun can be held there, mix the two and you have chaos, something very powerful indeed.

Originally posted by 7ate9
i don't mind talking about it, cause i don't have any problems with it anymore. it was just a lot of confusion when i was like that, so it's hard to talk about. i'm actually enjoying talking about it, cause it's a real problem for some people. i'll stop though.

Yea tell me about how its a problem for some people, I have friends who are cutters, a few of them, but they all tell me never to do it, and one said that he can't stop me, but if I do, to promise to be careful.

Originally posted by ayamethesnake
ok, for instance, being able to control fire, i can manipulate to a point, same with earth, air, and water. Akasha, generaly ability in that is needed only in a preistess, because the one use of it is for rituals, and light and dark, fun can be held there, mix the two and you have chaos, something very powerful indeed.

You mean manipulate by the power of the mind alone, I take it?

Originally posted by Pawnokeyhole
You mean manipulate by the power of the mind alone, I take it?

yes, exactly

Originally posted by FreakyKBH
Don't you worry your purty little head, darlin'. FS hasn't the froggiest notion of what he cut and paste from the Wikipedia under the heading "Quark Model," either. He's just tickled pink to be talking to a 17 year-old underage blood guzzler.

so what if its a cut and paste, I cant get the proper characters to work here. That I know what it meant is all you need to know , silly boy. I often cut and paste stuff that I think is germane to a conversation.

heres a clue the second post was in explaination of the first.