1. Standard memberscottishinnz
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    19 Jan '06 08:04
    Act 1; God creates earth and everything in it. Eve, being the wench that she is, eats apple. God not happy. Punishes all of mankind, forvever. Next couple of thousand years plagued with plagues, wars, civil unrest, floods, pillars of salt, sodomites and general smiting. [curtains close on Roman soldiers marching into sunset....]

    Act 2; God sends son to earth. Son performs a few party tricks for the locals, turns fish into wine and loaves into gold, frankensense and mihr (quite what for, no-one is sure). Anyhoo, besides the point. Jesus, for that is his name, dispenses that age old wisdom 'it's nice to be nice'. Promises that if people are nice to him and his Da, they'll be nice back. Jesus, however, suffers the indignity, not only of being crucified, but also some fella (having had a lager shandy or two too many) seeing him staggering off to Jerusalem A&E (emergency room) - not the most dignified way to slip into obscurity for a self proclaimed son-of-god, I'm sure you'll agree.

    Anyhoo, here's just the crunch. Nothing else happened after that. No more curses or locusts or killing of the first born, nothing.

    God, apparently, (i'm informed) resides outside of time. For him, nothing changed throughout this 10,000 year period. So, good reader, why DID he quit with the smiting? Not like he grew up or something is it! I mean he's god! Did he change his mind? Settle down? OR, as I believe, is god schizophrenic? Nowadays it's not called that anymore, it's called 'dissociative identity disorder'.

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    19 Jan '06 08:43
    Let's assume, for arguement sake, that he exists ...

    He'd be lonely.

    The best way to entertain himself would be to let people wonder whether he existed, which would explain why the bible is so ambiguous (and "the word of god" comes in 2 versions - the old and the new testaments).

    This would come at the risk of people spending an eternity in hell ...

    ... but a being driven to schizophrenia wouldn't consider this.
  3. Standard memberBosse de Nage
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    19 Jan '06 08:51
    Originally posted by scottishinnz

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    Samuel Beckett's Company springs to mind.

    (description: http://www.samuel-beckett.net/Company_Graver.html )
  4. Cape Town
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    19 Jan '06 08:53
    Originally posted by scottishinnz
    Act 1; God creates earth and everything in it. Eve, being the wench that she is, eats apple. God not happy. Punishes all of mankind, forvever.
    This is one bit I have never understood. God made man and woman without the knowledge to understand what they were doing and what was right and wrong. They did wrong - with some assistance from Mr. Snake. He punishes them and all thier decendants etc who are just as innocent.
    It just doesnt make sense to me.
  5. Standard memberscottishinnz
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    19 Jan '06 08:54
    Originally posted by Bosse de Nage
    Samuel Beckett's Company springs to mind.

    (description: http://www.samuel-beckett.net/Company_Graver.html )
    I like that - thanks Bosse!
  6. Standard memberscottishinnz
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    19 Jan '06 08:54
    Originally posted by twhitehead
    This is one bit I have never understood. God made man and woman without the knowledge to understand what they were doing and what was right and wrong. They did wrong - with some assistance from Mr. Snake. He punishes them and all thier decendants etc who are just as innocent.
    It just doesnt make sense to me.
    you and me both.
  7. Standard memberscottishinnz
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    19 Jan '06 08:58
    Originally posted by STANG
    Let's assume, for arguement sake, that he exists ...

    He'd be lonely.

    The best way to entertain himself would be to let people wonder whether he existed, which would explain why the bible is so ambiguous (and "the word of god" comes in 2 versions - the old and the new testaments).

    This would come at the risk of people spending an eternity in hell ...

    ... but a being driven to schizophrenia wouldn't consider this.
    Indeed, he would be lonely.

    Consider for a moment, the devil. Lucifer, created as god's light. Fell from grace, because essentially he wanted more. But god made Lucifer everything he was. Lucifer could not have had any desire for power, unless god himself gave him the capacity for it. Furthermore, of course, god, being omnipotent, knew it was coming! And he made Lucifer anyway. Thus, god made the devil. He's got some badness in him, that god, doesn't he!

    Schizophrenic - you know it makes sense.
  8. Account suspended
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    19 Jan '06 09:23
    Originally posted by twhitehead
    This is one bit I have never understood. God made man and woman without the knowledge to understand what they were doing and what was right and wrong. They did wrong - with some assistance from Mr. Snake. He punishes them and all thier decendants etc who are just as innocent.
    It just doesnt make sense to me.
    Killed by God, in one day, for premarital sex (1 Corinthians 10:8)
    23,000 dead

    Killed, at God's behest, for not giving God his due (Exodus 32:26-28)
    3,000 dead

    Killed for being counted by David (1 Chronicles 21:1-14)
    70,000 dead

    Killed by God for questioning Moses and Aaron (Numbers 16:35)
    14,950 dead

    Killed by God, in a plague, for whoring around (Numbers 25:1-9)
    24,000 dead

    Delivered by God to be killed by Israelites (Judges 3:28-29)
    30,000 dead

    Killed by God for engaging in homosexual acts (Genesis 19:24-25)
    Everything dead in 2 cities

    Killed by God after their king made fun of him (Isaiah 37:1-36)
    185,000 dead

    God threatened to kill for abandoning him (Amos 5:1-3)
    90 percent of Israel

    Killed by God when he was particularly disgusted (Genesis 6:5-7:22)
    Everything dead on earth – except a few on an ark

    Comply or spend eternity in hell (Rom. 6:23, Rev. 19:ll-15; 20:8)
  9. Standard memberNemesio
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    19 Jan '06 09:38
    Originally posted by scottishinnz
    turns fish into wine and loaves into gold, frankensense and mihr (quite what for, no-one is sure).
    This is too funny!
  10. Forgotten
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    19 Jan '06 09:53
    I always viewed God as the almighty unknowable being,pure energy and not identifyable.This notion of Satan being Gods alter ego isn't far fetched at all. It goes back to the yin yang principle, but and it is a big but(no pun intended),nothing can oppose god .As everything works according to His plan, hence Satan is not Gods nemesis, nor his equal.
    As an xtian i viewed Satan as mans nemesis, and while Jesus was a man he had Satan on His back.
    As a Kabbalist of sorts, i view Satan as simply another Angelic spirit.
  11. Standard memberscottishinnz
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    19 Jan '06 09:57
    Originally posted by Nemesio
    This is too funny!
    Gee, shucks, thanks. I'm sure you were just referring to the spellings though! Does anyone actually know how to spell those words? I suppose I could google em, but what fun would that be?
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    19 Jan '06 12:43
    Originally posted by scottishinnz
    Indeed, he would be lonely.

    Consider for a moment, the devil. Lucifer, created as god's light. Fell from grace, because essentially he wanted more. But god made Lucifer everything he was. Lucifer could not have had any desire for power, unless god himself gave him the capacity for it. Furthermore, of course, god, being omnipotent, knew it ...[text shortened]... 's got some badness in him, that god, doesn't he!

    Schizophrenic - you know it makes sense.
    >Consider for a moment, the devil.
    OK, lets do that.

    >Lucifer, created as god's light.
    Really?

    >Fell from grace, because essentially he wanted more.
    Is that so?

    Says who?
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    19 Jan '06 16:00
    Originally posted by scottishinnz
    Act 1; God creates earth and everything in it. Eve, being the wench that she is, eats apple. God not happy. Punishes all of mankind, forvever. Next couple of thousand years plagued with plagues, wars, civil unrest, floods, pillars of salt, sodomites and general smiting. [curtains close on Roman soldiers marching into sunset....]

    Act 2; God sends ...[text shortened]... 's not called that anymore, it's called 'dissociative identity disorder'.

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    That is pretty insightful. Have you ever considered attending a school of theology or even the preisthood?
  14. Standard memberscottishinnz
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    19 Jan '06 17:07
    Originally posted by JadeMantis
    >Consider for a moment, the devil.
    OK, lets do that.

    >Lucifer, created as god's light.
    Really?

    >Fell from grace, because essentially he wanted more.
    Is that so?

    Says who?
    Well, that's my curtailed version but this Wiki article pretty much backs up the jist of my point

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucifer


    Don't worry, you (probably) won't go to hell for reading it.
  15. Standard memberscottishinnz
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    19 Jan '06 17:10
    Originally posted by whodey
    That is pretty insightful. Have you ever considered attending a school of theology or even the preisthood?
    Okay, so the style is tongue-in-cheek, my favourite style, but the serious question remains, why did god become so ambivalent towards humanity after the split from the Jews?
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