1. Account suspended
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    31 Mar '10 16:204 edits
    How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won’t claim that god did it.

    How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Change???

    How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the Zen master stays out of the way.
    Two: one to change the bulb and one not to change it.
    None. Zen masters carry their own light.
  2. Joined
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    31 Mar '10 17:24
    Originally posted by robbie carrobie
    How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won’t claim that god did it.

    How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Change???

    How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the ...[text shortened]...
    Two: one to change the bulb and one not to change it.
    None. Zen masters carry their own light.
    I like the Zen masters carry their own light bit

    🙂
  3. Standard memberblack beetle
    Black Beastie
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    31 Mar '10 18:03
    Originally posted by robbie carrobie
    How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won’t claim that god did it.

    How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Change???

    How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the ...[text shortened]...
    Two: one to change the bulb and one not to change it.
    None. Zen masters carry their own light.
    A Zen master carries the light
    neither because s/he cannot see nor because s/he needs the light or because s/he carries her/ his own light -s/he carries the light in order to ease the other people to stumble not on her/ him in the dark😵
  4. Account suspended
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    31 Mar '10 18:50
    Originally posted by black beetle
    A Zen master carries the light
    neither because s/he cannot see nor because s/he needs the light or because s/he carries her/ his own light -s/he carries the light in order to ease the other people to stumble not on her/ him in the dark😵
    i see, prophylaxis in praxis me thinks 🙂
  5. Cape Town
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    31 Mar '10 19:37
    Us atheists have not "seen the light". So why would we change the bulb if we don't even realize its out?
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    31 Mar '10 20:28
    Originally posted by twhitehead
    Us atheists have not "seen the light". So why would we change the bulb if we don't even realize its out?
    How many Atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    One. But they are still in darkness.
  7. Account suspended
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    31 Mar '10 20:301 edit
    Originally posted by robbie carrobie
    How many Atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    One. But they are still in darkness.
    how many thinkofones does it take to change a light bulb
    two, one to do it and the other to state that it was a hypocritical and bigoted act for it to go out in the first place.
  8. Account suspended
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    31 Mar '10 22:02
    Originally posted by robbie carrobie
    how many thinkofones does it take to change a light bulb
    two, one to do it and the other to state that it was a hypocritical and bigoted act for it to go out in the first place.
    How many Whodeys does it take to change a light bulb?

    1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed,

    2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb
    needs to be changed,

    3. One to blame Obama for burning out the light bulb,
  9. Account suspended
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    31 Mar '10 22:05
    How many Zahlanzies does it take to change a light bulb

    one to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior and the other to call you a moron if you disagree
  10. Joined
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    31 Mar '10 23:19
    Originally posted by robbie carrobie
    How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won’t claim that god did it.

    How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Change???

    How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the ...[text shortened]...
    Two: one to change the bulb and one not to change it.
    None. Zen masters carry their own light.
    How many heathen women does it take to change a light bulb?

    Only one. She just holds it in place and lets the 9 worlds revolve around her as usual.
  11. Standard memberRajk999
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    31 Mar '10 23:28
    Originally posted by robbie carrobie
    How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won’t claim that god did it.

    How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Change???

    How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the ...[text shortened]...
    Two: one to change the bulb and one not to change it.
    None. Zen masters carry their own light.
    Try giving appropriate credit where it is due. Let me show you how its done :

    http://www.worthychristianforums.com/many-t24724.html
    Q: HOW MANY METHODISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
    A: Undetermined.
    Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved -- you can be a lightbulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. A church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

    Q: HOW MANY EPISCOPALIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
    A: Eight.
    One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.

    Q: HOW MANY UNITARIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
    A: The Unitarians wish to issue the following statement:
    "We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a lightbulb; however, if in your own journey you have found that lightbulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your lightbulb, and present it next month at our annual lightbulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of lightbulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."

    Q: HOW MANY JEWISH MOTHERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
    A: None.
    "It's all right; I'll sit in the dark!"

    Q: HOW MANY JEWISH RENEWAL RABBIS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
    A: Depends.
    One if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity from nuclear power. Two, one to put in the lightbulb and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called "The Jew in the Lightbulb." Three, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.

    Q: HOW MANY LUTHERANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
    A: None.
    Lutherans don't believe in change.

    Q: HOW MANY PENTECOSTALS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
    A: Ten.
    One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

    Q: HOW MANY SOUTHERN BAPTISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
    A: One hundred and nine.
    Seven on the Lightbulb Task Force Sub-committee, who report to the twelve on the Lightbulb Task Force, appointed by the fifteen on the Trustee Board. Their recommendation is reviewed by the Finance Executive Committee of five, who place it on the agenda of the eighteen-member Finance Committee. If they approve, they bring a motion to the twenty-seven Member church Board, who appoint another twelve-member review committee. If they recommend that the Church Board proceed, a resolution is brought to the Congregational Business Meeting. They appoint another eight-member review committee. If their report to the next Congregational Business Meeting supports the changing of a lightbulb, and the Congregation votes in favor, the responsibility to carry out the lightbulb change is passed on to the Trustee Board, who in turn appoint a seven-member committee to find the best price in new lightbulbs. Their recommendation of which hardware is the best buy must then be reviewed by the twenty-three-member Ethics Committee to make certain that this hardware store has no connection to Disneyland. They report back to the Trustee Board who then commissions the Trustee in charge of the Janitor to ask him to make the change. By then the janitor discovers that one more lightbulb has burned out.

    Q: HOW MANY EXISTENTIALISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
    A: Two.
    One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of nothingness.

    Q: HOW MANY ROMAN CATHOLICS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
    A: Nun.

    Q: HOW MANY QUAKERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
    A: None.
    Who needs a lightbulb when you have an inner light?

    Q: HOW MANY PAGANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
    A: Six.
    One to change it, and five to sit around complaining that lightbulbs never burned out before Christians came along.

    Q: HOW MANY PRESBYTERIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
    A: None.
    Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

    Q: How many Amish DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
    A: What are you doing with a lightbulb in the first place?!?


    Q: HOW MANY Seventh-day Adventists DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
    A: 144,000 with God's seal on their foreheads, giving the loud cry which will lighten the earth.


    Q: HOW MANY Mormons DOES IT TAKE
    A: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four
    wives to tell him how to do it.

    Q: How many Brethren/Dunkards does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Change? My grandma put that light bulb in over 65 years ago! We aren't going to change it!

    Q: How many Christian Scientists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: There is no darkness and the bulb is an illusion of malicious animal magnitism as well!

    Q:HOW MANY Wesleyan Fellowshipers DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
    A: All of us - Everything we do, we do together!

    Q: How many Atheists does it take?:
    A: None. We don't acknowledge the existence of light bulbs.

    Q: How many Agnostics does it take?:
    A: Three. One to change the light bulb and two to debate whether or not the fact of the light bulb impacts their lives.

    Q: Skeptics:
    A: Are you sure its the light bulb? It could be the switch, or maybe the wiring. Perhaps it would be helpful if we . . .

    Q: How many evolutionists does it take?:
    A:None. If you wait long enough, evolution will produce a lightbulb capable of changing itself.


    Q:How many Hindus does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: Answer: 12 million
    It can happen only once in twelve years, at an appointed time at the confluence of three sacred rivers.

    Q: How many Calvinists...
    A: Five, one to declare the old bulb "totally depraved", a second to elect the new bulb unconditionally, a third to make sure the light bulb only lights the elect, a fourth to preach on how irresistable the light is, and a fifth to preach on how the light will persevere until the end.

    Q:How many celibate priests does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A; None, it's against their vows.

    Q: "How many revisionist historians does it take to change a lightbulb?"
    A: "Only one, but he must find a new way of changing it."

    Q:How many New Agers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None. The light bulb has a perfect right to exist in any state it sees fit.

    Q: How many Jehovah Witnesses does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Why do you ask? Are you interested? Here's some reading material and someone can come by your house every day this week to discuss the lightbulb, and all of the things that changing the lightbulb can do.
  12. Account suspended
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    31 Mar '10 23:31
    Originally posted by Ullr
    How many heathen women does it take to change a light bulb?

    Only one. She just holds it in place and lets the 9 worlds revolve around her as usual.
    Lol, How many Karoly Polys does it take to change a lightbulb?

    One to stick his finger in the light fitting and feel the experience and the other to say it transcended a normal change of lightbulb
  13. Account suspended
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    31 Mar '10 23:321 edit
    Originally posted by Rajk999
    Try giving appropriate credit where it is due. Let me show you how its done :

    http://www.worthychristianforums.com/many-t24724.html
    Q: HOW MANY METHODISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
    A: Undetermined.
    Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved -- you can be a lightbulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. A church-wide l tbulb, and all of the things that changing the lightbulb can do.
    actually i have been surfing the net and picking the ones i like, not that its any of your business, now if you dont mind, get out my thread i dont want it polluted, so beat it! Remember, you dont want anything to do with us, so scram.
  14. Standard memberRajk999
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    31 Mar '10 23:34
    Originally posted by robbie carrobie
    actually i have been surfing the net and picking the ones i like, not that its any of your business, now if you dont mind, get out my thread i dont want it polluted, so beat it! Remember, you dont want anything to do with us, so scram.
    I guess they dont teach basic decency the JW Indoctrination School .
  15. Standard memberkaroly aczel
    the Devil himself
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    31 Mar '10 23:35
    Originally posted by robbie carrobie
    Lol, How many Karoly Polys does it take to change a lightbulb?

    One to stick his finger in the light fitting and feel the experience and the other to say it transcended a normal change of lightbulb
    Damn! you got my number. My brain will be back from lunch soon and then we will see exactly how many Robbies it takes to changs a light bulb.
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