Hymns of a lukewarm church

Hymns of the Lukewarm Church

Hymns can make for good church jokes.

1. A Comfy Mattress Is Our God
2. Joyful, Joyful, We Kinda Like Thee
3. Above Average is Thy Faithfulness
4. Lord, Keep Us Loosely Connected to Your Word
5. All Hail the Influence of Jesus’ Name
6. My Hope is Built on Nothing Much
7. Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound
8. My Faith Looks Around for Thee
9. Be Thou My Hobby
10. O God, Our Enabler in Ages Past
11. Blest Be the Tie That Doesn’t Cramp My Style
12. Oh, for a Couple of Tongues to Sing
13. He’s Quite a Bit to Me
14. Oh, How I Like Jesus
15. I Lay My Inappropriate Behaviors on Jesus
16. Pillow of Ages, Fluffed for Me
17. I Surrender Some
18. Praise God from Whom All Affirmations Flow
19. I’m Fairly Certain That My Redeemer Lives
20. Self-Esteem to the World! The Lord is Come
21. Sit Up, Sit Up for Jesus
22. Special, Special, Special
23. Spirit of the Living God, Fall Somewhere Near Me
24. Stick Nearby, It’s Getting Dark Outside
25. Take My Life and Let Me Be
26. There is Scattered Cloudiness in My Soul Today
27. There Shall be Sprinkles of Blessings
28. What an Acquaintance We Have in Jesus
29. When Peace, Like a Trickle. . .
30. When the Saints Go Sneaking In
31. Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following
32. God of Taste, and God of Stories
33. Lift Every Voice and Intellectualize

Passing off someone else's writing as your own is called plagiarism.

@whodey said
Hymns of the Lukewarm Church

Hymns can make for good church jokes.

1. A Comfy Mattress Is Our God
2. Joyful, Joyful, We Kinda Like Thee
3. Above Average is Thy Faithfulness
4. Lord, Keep Us Loosely Connected to Your Word
5. All Hail the Influence of Jesus’ Name
6. My Hope is Built on Nothing Much
7. Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound
8. My Faith Loo ...[text shortened]... Consider Following
32. God of Taste, and God of Stories
33. Lift Every Voice and Intellectualize

@whodey said
Hymns of the Lukewarm Church

Hymns can make for good church jokes.

1. A Comfy Mattress Is Our God
2. Joyful, Joyful, We Kinda Like Thee
3. Above Average is Thy Faithfulness
4. Lord, Keep Us Loosely Connected to Your Word
5. All Hail the Influence of Jesus’ Name
6. My Hope is Built on Nothing Much
7. Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound
8. My Faith Loo ...[text shortened]... Consider Following
32. God of Taste, and God of Stories
33. Lift Every Voice and Intellectualize

-Removed-

@fmf said
Passing off someone else's writing as your own is called plagiarism.

@suzianne said
Glad I don't go to your church, Mr. Tepid.

@whodey said
There is actually a better statistical chance that I came up with all of those sayings that someone else wrote on my own in that precise order than for amino acids to have formed to produce life by random chance.

Hilarious.

My work here is done.

Thanks for playing.

@whodey said
Do you go to a church at Planned Parenthood?

@suzianne said
You didn't have billions of years to do it, though.

@whodey said
Billions of years?

Life appeared almost immediately.

Then came the Cambrian explosion.

Nothing slow or gradual about the evolution of life.

@Ghost-of-a-Duke

https://www.livescience.com/57942-what-was-first-life-on-earth.html

The earliest evidence for life on Earth arises among the oldest rocks still preserved on the planet.

Earth is about 4.5 billion years old, but the oldest rocks still in existence date back to just 4 billion years ago. Not long after that rock record begins, tantalizing evidence of life emerges: A set of filament-like fossils from Australia, reported in the journal Astrobiology in 2013, may be the remains of a microbial mat that might have been extracting energy from sunlight some 3.5 billion years ago. Another contender for world's oldest life is a set of rocks in Greenland that may hold the fossils of 3.7-billion-year-old colonies of cyanobacteria, which form layered structures called stromatolites.

So the oldest rocks are 4 billion and the earliest life found in them 3.7 billion.

Also, the Cambrian Explosion occurred from 541 to 485 million years ago. It was an amazing explosion of life in the oceans that was not the billions first sold to us to be needed for evolution.

@whodey said
@Ghost-of-a-Duke

https://www.livescience.com/57942-what-was-first-life-on-earth.html

The earliest evidence for life on Earth arises among the oldest rocks still preserved on the planet.

Earth is about 4.5 billion years old, but the oldest rocks still in existence date back to just 4 billion years ago. Not long after that rock record begins, tantalizing evidence of lif ...[text shortened]... plosion of life in the oceans that was not the billions first sold to us to be needed for evolution.