I am starting a new denomination

Originally posted by generalissimo
so its even better than I thought!

btw, I agree with properknob, the virgins are a good idea.
also, you should consider poligamy, after all, why have one virgin if you can have several? 😵

Immoral.

Originally posted by duecer
Any one else who does not join my church and subscribe to the doctrines that I will divulge to them, will have to sleep dormant in the ground for all eternity.

Sounds good! (Is there a different way of sleeping than being dormant?)

Originally posted by Nordlys
Sounds good! (Is there a different way of sleeping than being dormant?)

dormant;
(of an animal) having normal physical functions suspended or slowed down for a period of time; in or as if in a deep sleep.

Not all sleep is a deep sleep.

Originally posted by Nordlys
Sounds good! (Is there a different way of sleeping than being dormant?)

for a modest donation to the church we will gladly pipe in elevator music to your crypt.

Originally posted by daniel58
dormant;
(of an animal) having normal physical functions suspended or slowed down for a period of time; in or as if in a deep sleep.

Not all sleep is a deep sleep.

Not all dormancy is deep sleep. From the Merriam-Webster:

dormant
1 : represented on a coat of arms in a lying position with the head on the forepaws
2 : marked by a suspension of activity: as a : temporarily devoid of external activity <a dormant volcano> b : temporarily in abeyance yet capable of being activated
3 a : asleep, inactive b : having the faculties suspended : sluggish c : having biological activity suspended: as (1) : being in a state of suspended animation (2) : not actively growing but protected (as by bud scales) from the environment —used of plant parts
4 : associated with, carried out, or applied during a period of dormancy <dormant grafting>

I think everybody who doesn't join duecer's church will be represented on a coat of arms in a lying position with the head on the forepaws.

Originally posted by duecer
for a modest donation to the church we will gladly pipe in elevator music to your crypt.

In that case I'll be very careful not to give any donations to your church.

Originally posted by Nordlys
In that case I'll be very careful not to give any donations to your church.

also if your donation is too meger, we will consider piping really bad elevator music, plus we may sell space to store toxic waste there. now pony up some dough😠

Originally posted by Nordlys
Not all dormancy is deep sleep. From the Merriam-Webster:

dormant
1 : represented on a coat of arms in a lying position with the head on the forepaws
2 : marked by a suspension of activity: as a : temporarily devoid of external activity <a dormant volcano> b : temporarily in abeyance yet capable of being activated
3 a : asleep, inactive b : having the ...[text shortened]... hurch will be represented on a coat of arms in a lying position with the head on the forepaws.

yes that's quite correct, you are quickly rising in esteem, I may have to make you an alcolyte

Gather round dear ones, for it is time for your indoctr....I mean education. Our first lesson this week is called "confounding the orthodox" we will discuss several ways in which we can frustrate, obfuscate, and recontextualate the scriptures. The orthodox will of course point out to you that they come from 2000 years of Apostolic tradition, and that they have the best schools and the most trained minds, but hey you have me, the discreet slave. The gospel and new light goes from Jehovah's lips to my ears, then from me to you as I see fit.

The first thing I want you to learn is to quote a number of bible verses (they are in your packet; about 10 should do for now), as you debate with the pagan 3 headed god worshipers, remember your best weapon is to ignore any and all commentary they may have, as it surely must come from the devil. After you have exhuasted all your verses simply start all over from the begining and claim that they fail to see on purpose. Practice this for the next week and we will move on to phase two, "How take scripture and bend it to fit your argument."