ive got the golden ticket!!

chatting to my mother the other day about religion, she mentioned that she thought i would go to heaven even though im a non believer. she seemed to think that i get a free ticket because she is a catholic.

does this mean im in!!! free pass!!! golden ticket!!!
is this true?

Originally posted by stellspalfie
chatting to my mother the other day about religion, she mentioned that she thought i would go to heaven even though im a non believer. she seemed to think that i get a free ticket because she is a catholic.

does this mean im in!!! free pass!!! golden ticket!!!
is this true?

No, its not a family ticket.

Originally posted by robbie carrobie
No, its not a family ticket.

if my mam says im in then im in robbie, she's half irish and half scottish god would be shaking in his holy boots if he got on the wrong side of her.

actually ive been googling it and come up with something from corinthians that says -

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

not knowing much about bibles im not sure if this is just one translation or if they all say the same.

The idea of being 'rewarded' with everlasting life, only to find that my loved ones hadn't made it or had been excluded, is hell, not heaven.

Originally posted by stellspalfie
if my mam says im in then im in robbie, she's half irish and half scottish god would be shaking in his holy boots if he got on the wrong side of her.

actually ive been googling it and come up with something from corinthians that says -

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing t ...[text shortened]... wing much about bibles im not sure if this is just one translation or if they all say the same.

sanctification is not the same as salvation, you might like to look at the difference to be
sure.

Originally posted by stellspalfie
chatting to my mother the other day about religion, she mentioned that she thought i would go to heaven even though im a non believer. she seemed to think that i get a free ticket because she is a catholic.

does this mean im in!!! free pass!!! golden ticket!!!
is this true?

the lord will most likely reward your mother with free get out of hell tickets that your mother will give you, and the lord says see what your mother does for you dumpass 🙂

Originally posted by robbie carrobie
sanctification is not the same as salvation, you might like to look at the difference to be
sure.

dont pull the rug out on me now!!!!! i

doesnt it mean that god has set me apart for a special purpose, a holy purpose. i cant do that if im dead, unless he wants me to go undercover in hell for him. i could be gods version of jack bauer.

Originally posted by tim88
the lord will most likely reward your mother with free get out of hell tickets that your mother will give you, and the lord says see what your mother does for you dumpass 🙂

hi timmy, glad to see rj decided to leave you behind.

im not sure about the point of your story, it was enjoyable non the less. ive even translated it (like a bible) into my own words, so i can enjoy it more.

god gives my mam a get out of hell free ticket
my mam gives it to me.
i get out of hell
god says 'isnt your mother nice'
god thinks i am or have a 'dump ass'

the end.

Originally posted by stellspalfie
dont pull the rug out on me now!!!!! i

doesnt it mean that god has set me apart for a special purpose, a holy purpose. i cant do that if im dead, unless he wants me to go undercover in hell for him. i could be gods version of jack bauer.

your mother is simply reiterating a common superstition, that all good people go to
heaven. Its based upon emotionalism, because she's your mum and she loves you,
unfortunately for you, God is not human and not sentimental, he wants you to gain
salvation, but you need to repent.

Originally posted by stellspalfie
hi timmy, glad to see rj decided to leave you behind.

im not sure about the point of your story, it was enjoyable non the less. ive even translated it (like a bible) into my own words, so i can enjoy it more.

god gives my mam a get out of hell free ticket
my mam gives it to me.
i get out of hell
god says 'isnt your mother nice'
god thinks i am or have a 'dump ass'

the end.

hi timmy, glad to see rj decided to leave you behind

dumbass!

Originally posted by robbie carrobie
your mother is simply reiterating a common superstition, that all good people go to
heaven. Its based upon emotionalism, because she's your mum and she loves you,
unfortunately for you, God is not human and not sentimental, he wants you to gain
salvation, but you need to repent.

so what does the bible mean by 'sanctified' ive had a look and it seems that each denomination has a different explanation. christianity is very frustrating, how does a person know which translation or understanding is correct. i wonder if god finds all these different books claiming to be the correct version of his words annoying.

"unfortunately for you, God is not human and not sentimental, he wants you to gain
salvation, but you need to repent"

what should i repent, other than being a non believer i dont think ive committed a sin, apart from a bit of unmarried how's-your-father when i was younger, but im sure thats not going to upset him too much.

Originally posted by tim88
hi timmy, glad to see rj decided to leave you behind

dumbass!

is a dumbass a stupid rectum or a stupid equus? ive always wondered.

i prefer to use twat, which do you prefer tim twat or ass? you seem like an ass man.

Originally posted by stellspalfie
is a dumbass a stupid rectum or a stupid equus? ive always wondered.

i prefer to use twat, which do you prefer tim twat or ass? you seem like an ass man.

Bend over and I'll show ya

Originally posted by tim88
Bend over and I'll show ya

are you flirting timmy!!

Originally posted by stellspalfie
hi timmy, glad to see rj decided to leave you behind.

im not sure about the point of your story, it was enjoyable non the less. ive even translated it (like a bible) into my own words, so i can enjoy it more.

god gives my mam a get out of hell free ticket
my mam gives it to me.
i get out of hell
god says 'isnt your mother nice'
god thinks i am or have a 'dump ass'

the end.

and then he takes a 10 pound dump on timmy's face and timmy cries out "manna from heaven!"

the end. for real this time.