Jesus resides in Hell

It’s quite funny how I actually stumbled upon this little truth, let me share with you.

I was thinking about all the born-again, 7th day Adventist, right-wing, pro-life, anti-abortion, anti-catholic Christians who frequent this site and their constant drive to save more souls.
Sometimes, it’s like they’re specifically calling out to me: “Shavixmir…join us….save your soul, accept Jesus, he is your saviour….Shavi….”
It could be the drugs, but I doubt it.

And as the Christians call out to me to love Jesus because he is the greatest entity since sliced white bread with peanut butter and chocolate flakes, I sit on my side of the monitor, shaking my head and thinking: WAIT A BLOODY MINUTE…

Say I did accept Jesus as my one true saviour. What then?
Now, for arguments sake let’s imagine there’s a God, a heaven and eternal residence.
What then?
If I accepted Jesus as my one true saviour and greatest invention since bubbles in beer, then I’ll end up in Heaven. With the Christian, born-again, right-wing community! Won’t I?

Now, I’ve been through a lot in my life, but an ETERNITY is a god-awful long time to spend with anybody.
So, I was thinking, say I accept Jesus as the one true saviour and best tasting human being since…well, I’m not at liberty to say…and I have to spend eternity with the Christian pro-life, anti-abortion community…

And my brain clogged up.
How’s that for weird?
My brain ground to a standstill and I was sat with a glass of diet coke in my hand and was rigid for nearly 40 seconds. Hell, the anti-euthanasia people were already gathering outside my bloody window.
I DON’T WANT TO BE STUCK WITH THEM FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY!!!
Eternity is a very, very, VERY long time!

Imagine having to listen to them yap on about how great Jesus is…eternally? I frequent this forum 1x a day for 5 minutes and I usually end up banging my head off the wall in frustration, never mind hours upon hours upon hours upon hours upon hours upon hours…etc. etc. of it?

Imagine having to suffer pro-life propaganda for the rest of eternity?
Wouldn’t it do your head in? Wouldn’t you end up in a holy straight-jacket shouting: “I’M BLOODY DEAD…HOW BLOODY PRO-LIFE IS THIS GOD???”

Imagine having to sit amongst all the poor aborted foetuses? I’m sure they all go to heaven. What do you say to a foetus? “Hi, I’m Shavixmir, what’s your name? Anyways, have you seen the film Alien yet?”

See. This eternal heaven thing doesn’t sound all that good to me. In fact, I’ll go as far and say that if all these pro-life, anti-abortionist, Bush voting Christians are up there…well…I’d rather go down!

Right, so anyways, I was thinking about poor Jesus.
He’s stuck up in heaven and he’s basically stuck up there eternally. Now, if all these Jesus lovin’ Christians go up there and are constantly praising him he’s got two options:

The first being that he enjoys the attention. That’s idleness. And that’s one of the 7 sins. God would be forced to kick him out of heaven…and send him to hell!
The second option would be that he would be really, really sick of all the sycophantic, arse-licking these Christians are up to…and he’d draw the same conclusion as me. He’d leave on his own accord!

And so, I am pretty much sure that Jesus is no longer in Heaven, but has in fact taken up residency in Hell.

How wrong could I be?

Originally posted by shavixmir
It’s quite funny how I actually stumbled upon this little truth, let me share with you.

I was thinking about all the born-again, 7th day Adventist, right-wing, pro-life, anti-abortion, anti-catholic Christians who frequent this site and their constant drive to save more souls.
Sometimes, it’s like they’re specifically calling out to me: “Shavixmir…jo ...[text shortened]... us is no longer in Heaven, but has in fact taken up residency in Hell.

How wrong could I be?

Now THAT is funny!

Originally posted by Wheely
Now THAT is funny!

Every time I read one of shav's posts, I feel like I've wasted 15 seconds of my time, yet I'm somehow drown to hearing what he's on about. Kinda like an episode of Springer.

I never considered the "eternity" issue. That truly is too long to do anything or be anywhere. Perhaps we could just die and stay in limbo?

Originally posted by sasquatch672
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!


ROTMFFLMMFAO!!!!!


BRILLIANT!!!!

You get a rec!

I'm proud of myself! I figured out what ROTMFFLMMFAO meant. That makes my day.😀

Originally posted by shavixmir
...
I was thinking about all the born-again, 7th day Adventist, right-wing, pro-life, anti-abortion, anti-catholic Christians who frequent this site and their constant drive to save more souls.
....
I DON’T WANT TO BE STUCK WITH THEM FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY!!!
Eternity is a very, very, VERY long time!

Don't worry shavixmir. It's OK. Once you convert, you automatically become a "born-again, 7th day Adventist, right-wing, pro-life, anti-abortion, anti-catholic." And you'll vote republican, and Jerry Farwell will be sweet music to your ears.

So sit back, relax, let yourself go. It's painless and all your troubles will go away. 😵

Originally posted by shavixmir
It’s quite funny how I actually stumbled upon this little truth, let me share with you.

I was thinking about all the born-again, 7th day Adventist, right-wing, pro-life, anti-abortion, anti-catholic Christians who frequent this site and their constant drive to save more souls.
Sometimes, it’s like they’re specifically calling out to me: “Shavixmir…jo ...[text shortened]... us is no longer in Heaven, but has in fact taken up residency in Hell.

How wrong could I be?

Gee, I wonder what how funny you'll think it will be. When you really find out what hell is really like. What eternity in hell is really like. Being put in the lake of fire. And while you are burning with everlasting fire, you'll be watching the Believers enjoying the Eternity, that you know nothing about. You'll be able to see GOD, in all His Glory, but unable to enjoy the rewards and gifts that he gives. You'll be burning with fire forever and ever and ever. Yeah, I wonder how you'll feel when you find out that your little truth is nothing compared to the Big Truth.

Originally posted by blindfaith101
Gee, I wonder what how funny you'll think it will be. When you really find out what hell is really like. What eternity in hell is really like. Being put in the lake of fire. And while you are burning with everlasting fire, you'll be watching the Believers enjoying the Eternity, that you know nothing about. You'll be able to see GOD, in all His Glory ...[text shortened]... how you'll feel when you find out that your little truth is nothing compared to the Big Truth.

Why didn't Jesus get as bent out of shape as you do? If I didn't know better, it sounds like you might really relish the thought of this kind of torment.

Originally posted by blindfaith101
Gee, I wonder what how funny you'll think it will be. When you really find out what hell is really like. What eternity in hell is really like. Being put in the lake of fire. And while you are burning with everlasting fire, you'll be watching the Believers enjoying the Eternity, that you know nothing about. You'll be able to see GOD, in all His Glory ...[text shortened]... how you'll feel when you find out that your little truth is nothing compared to the Big Truth.

So one of the delights of Heaven is watching an eternal snuff film being played out down below? How charming!

Originally posted by blindfaith101
Gee, I wonder what how funny you'll think it will be. When you really find out what hell is really like. What eternity in hell is really like. Being put in the lake of fire. And while you are burning with everlasting fire, you'll be watching the Believers enjoying the Eternity, that you know nothing about. You'll be able to see GOD, in all His Glory ...[text shortened]... how you'll feel when you find out that your little truth is nothing compared to the Big Truth.

Honestly? I think the irony might kill me all over again.

Originally posted by blindfaith101
Yeah, I wonder how you'll feel when you find out that your little truth is nothing compared to the Big Truth.

Blindfaith101, have you ever read Freud?

Originally posted by bbarr
Blindfaith101, have you ever read Freud?

OK, I can answer that, but allow me to enter this if I may. Are you getting at the "fear being the wish"?

Why are there no Scientologists on this site? Do they not like chess?

Originally posted by bbarr
So one of the delights of Heaven is watching an eternal snuff film being played out down below? How charming!

There will be no joy watching those suffer in hell. There is no where in THE WORD OF GOD, that GOD wants mankind to go to hell. GOD sent JESUS CHRIST, to give us a chance to get to heaven. But mankind is not forced to accept CHRIST. Therefore if a person choses not to accept CHRIST, then they choose to go to hell on their own.