Originally posted by lucifershammer
Mere denial, delusion, control etc. does not addiction make. Indeed, the last of these (control) is precisely what is absent in addiction.
In the example you've given, the only "parallel" I see is that he appears to have moved from one extreme to the other. Even there, there is a significant difference in terms of volition.
No, denial, delusion and
the illusion of control do not an addiction make—but they seem to be almost universally present. They
support the continuance of the addictive behavior. In fact, one could say that the first five steps of AA and similar 12-step programs address these very issues, and the later steps (along with continued sponsor-counseling) work to keep one from slipping back into them.
Addictions themselves can be both physiological and/or psychological. Many people engage in addictive behavior, at least initially, precisely because they feel their lives are out of control, and the addiction gives them a (false) sense of control and security; or their lives seem empty, and the addiction gives them a sense of fulfillment.
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BTW, I dispute that love is an addiction—one can have powerful feelings for a person, but if they are addicted to them, they can’t really love them; they must rely on them to satisfy the addiction. If the other person fails that, “love” can turn into rejection and even hatred pretty quickly. I have known addicts who supported each other’s addiction for decades—but the intimacy was ultimately destructive.
To paraphrase a definition of love that I read years ago (by M. Scott Peck): Love is the willingness to extend oneself (not diminish oneself) for the well-being of the other. Two people living that out with passionate caring and concern for one another—and a continuing, unafraid intimacy—is a beautiful thing.
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I don’t know how familiar you are with addictions and 12-steps. If you’re not very familiar, and if you want to get a good handle on addiction (and the spiritual side of recovery), I’d suggest hanging out with people who have matured in AA or another 12-step program, if you haven’t already. I’d also suggest reading AA’s “Big Book” (entitled simply
Alcoholics Anonymous).