Amish: Crap is good for the soil.
Baptism: We'll wash the crap right off you.
Calvinism: Crap happens because you didn't work hard enough.
Charismatic Catholicism: Crap is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.
Christian Science: When crap happens, don't call a doctor--pray.
Evangelical: Send us all your crap.
Greek Orthodox: Crap happens, usually in three's.
Reform Judaism: Got any laxatives?
Lutheranism: Crap happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.
Mormon: This crap is going to happen again.
New Age: We're all part of the same crap.
Voodooism: Crap doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you.
Wicca: The Goddess makes crap happen.