25 Sep '07 02:57>
From another thread, about the same time, as a supplement to my “blind spot” post above.
_______________________________________
You think: “I.”
You have a thought: “I.”
And in that thought are likely enfolded a whole complex of thoughts about that “I”: memories, who you have decided you are, who other people have decided you are, names, beliefs...
You might call that “I” “me”, or “myself”—or simply “I”. You might think all kinds of theories about that “I”.
But—
What is thinking that “I-complex”? Who is making that whole somebody-self?
Who is the I thinking that “I”? Is that I another thought? A thought thinking a thought? If you think so, then who is thinking that I?
Don’t think! Don’t start to make more thoughts about it: “I think it’s X” or “It must be Y” or “Buddhism says it’s Z”. Don’t theorize about it—
—find it... if you can.
A metaphorical hint: Looking for it is like using a flashlight to look for the flashlight.
Of course, “it” isn’t really an it. That’s just a way of talking. It is the being-of-you that is itself no content at all. Not thing, nor concept, but process.
I could give it a name—but any name I give it, any of this talk talking about it, is just hints and allusions, no more. If I call it being-self-aware, that is likely to raise all sorts of talks about what is “self” (and “soul”, and the like): and the mind runs off chasing itself. That can all be great fun, of course—as long as you don’t get caught... 😉 It’s so habitual and seductive, even the “masters” catch themselves getting caught, time and again.
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Another hint and allusion (no more): Being-aware of being-aware—and being-aware that that is your original “self” from the beginning, which reflects on all content (including content of its own making), all thought and experience and mental representations—but is itself no content at all.
I see the cat dozing in the sun. My brain makes a mental representation in the visual cortex from the sensory stimuli. I smell the fragrance of the ginger-lilies; the same. I have a feeling of contentment; the same. I think a thought: “How wonderful!”; the same. I stub my toe: “Ouch!”; the same. I feel hunger; the same. I think another thought: “I”; the same. All natural content-making. No problem.
Underneath all that content, you are no content at all—not even the content you call “I”.
_______________________________________
What you’re searching for
is what you’re searching with,
looking both ways through
the needle’s eye of your own mind,
and that’s why you’ll never “find” it anywhere—
_______________________________________
You think: “I.”
You have a thought: “I.”
And in that thought are likely enfolded a whole complex of thoughts about that “I”: memories, who you have decided you are, who other people have decided you are, names, beliefs...
You might call that “I” “me”, or “myself”—or simply “I”. You might think all kinds of theories about that “I”.
But—
What is thinking that “I-complex”? Who is making that whole somebody-self?
Who is the I thinking that “I”? Is that I another thought? A thought thinking a thought? If you think so, then who is thinking that I?
Don’t think! Don’t start to make more thoughts about it: “I think it’s X” or “It must be Y” or “Buddhism says it’s Z”. Don’t theorize about it—
—find it... if you can.
A metaphorical hint: Looking for it is like using a flashlight to look for the flashlight.
Of course, “it” isn’t really an it. That’s just a way of talking. It is the being-of-you that is itself no content at all. Not thing, nor concept, but process.
I could give it a name—but any name I give it, any of this talk talking about it, is just hints and allusions, no more. If I call it being-self-aware, that is likely to raise all sorts of talks about what is “self” (and “soul”, and the like): and the mind runs off chasing itself. That can all be great fun, of course—as long as you don’t get caught... 😉 It’s so habitual and seductive, even the “masters” catch themselves getting caught, time and again.
____________________________________
Another hint and allusion (no more): Being-aware of being-aware—and being-aware that that is your original “self” from the beginning, which reflects on all content (including content of its own making), all thought and experience and mental representations—but is itself no content at all.
I see the cat dozing in the sun. My brain makes a mental representation in the visual cortex from the sensory stimuli. I smell the fragrance of the ginger-lilies; the same. I have a feeling of contentment; the same. I think a thought: “How wonderful!”; the same. I stub my toe: “Ouch!”; the same. I feel hunger; the same. I think another thought: “I”; the same. All natural content-making. No problem.
Underneath all that content, you are no content at all—not even the content you call “I”.
_______________________________________
What you’re searching for
is what you’re searching with,
looking both ways through
the needle’s eye of your own mind,
and that’s why you’ll never “find” it anywhere—