Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the ball. It’s in the hole. Saint Peter looks at Jesus, exasperated. "Are you gonna play golf?" he asks "Or are you just gonna f*k around?"
Originally posted by Hand of HecateBah - thats an old one, but I heard it was God and Saint Peter playing golf.
Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the ...[text shortened]... t Jesus, exasperated. "Are you gonna play golf?" he asks "Or are you just gonna f*k around?"
Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par four with his driver and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green.
Jesus is up next. He takes out his 9 iron. Peter looks at him quizically, and shakes his head.
Jesus wind up, lets rip with all his might and...
...hooks it into the lake.
Jesus gets his trolley, walks to the lake, steps onto the water and walks across the surface to where his ball is.
As he is reaching in to get his ball, the Club chairman sees him standing on the lake and says to Peter;
"Bleeding heck! Who does he think he is - Jesus?"
Peter replies;
"He IS Jesus. The problem is, he thinks he is Tiger Woods."
I heard it this way:
St. Peter, Jesus, and a small man in an overcoat are golfing. St. Peter hits it close to the green. Jesus hits it, it bounces right up to the hole. Then the other guy hits it. It is about to go into the water when it is struck by a lightning bolt, flies up a thousand feet, and drops directly into the hole. As the man walks away, St. peter says, "Your dad is a real show-off, isn't he?"