1. Standard memberHand of Hecate
    Merciless Vagabond
    Deep in it.
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    08 Feb '05
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    14614
    30 Nov '05 15:49
    Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the ball. It’s in the hole. Saint Peter looks at Jesus, exasperated. "Are you gonna play golf?" he asks "Or are you just gonna f*k around?"
  2. Standard memberKnightWulfe
    Chess Samurai
    Yes
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    26 Apr '04
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    66095
    30 Nov '05 15:50
    Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
    Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the ...[text shortened]... t Jesus, exasperated. "Are you gonna play golf?" he asks "Or are you just gonna f*k around?"
    Bah - thats an old one, but I heard it was God and Saint Peter playing golf.
  3. London
    Joined
    02 Mar '04
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    36061
    30 Nov '05 17:12
    Originally posted by KnightWulfe
    Bah - thats an old one, but I heard it was God and Saint Peter playing golf.
    I've heard another version where Peter says "I hate it when your Dad helps!"
  4. Standard memberRBHILL
    Acts 13:48
    California
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    21 May '03
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    223256
    30 Nov '05 19:312 edits
    That's a cool one.
  5. Cosmos
    Joined
    21 Jan '04
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    11184
    30 Nov '05 22:48
    Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par four with his driver and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green.
    Jesus is up next. He takes out his 9 iron. Peter looks at him quizically, and shakes his head.
    Jesus wind up, lets rip with all his might and...

    ...hooks it into the lake.

    Jesus gets his trolley, walks to the lake, steps onto the water and walks across the surface to where his ball is.
    As he is reaching in to get his ball, the Club chairman sees him standing on the lake and says to Peter;
    "Bleeding heck! Who does he think he is - Jesus?"
    Peter replies;
    "He IS Jesus. The problem is, he thinks he is Tiger Woods."
  6. Subscriberinvigorate
    Only 1 F in Uckfield
    Buxted UK
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    27 Feb '02
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    211336
    14 Dec '05 09:51
    An agnostic, insomniac, dyslexic walks into the doctors:
    "Doctor Doctor, I lay awake every night wondering if there is a dog."
  7. Joined
    03 Oct '05
    Moves
    633
    15 Dec '05 22:181 edit
    I heard it this way:
    St. Peter, Jesus, and a small man in an overcoat are golfing. St. Peter hits it close to the green. Jesus hits it, it bounces right up to the hole. Then the other guy hits it. It is about to go into the water when it is struck by a lightning bolt, flies up a thousand feet, and drops directly into the hole. As the man walks away, St. peter says, "Your dad is a real show-off, isn't he?"
  8. Standard memberthesonofsaul
    King of the Ashes
    Trying to rise ....
    Joined
    16 Jun '04
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    63851
    17 Dec '05 03:09
    Praise Dog!
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