Unlikely things to find in the bible.

Bad wolf

Spirituality

21 Feb 07 21:39

Bad wolf

Joined: 23 Jul 05
Moves: 8869

21 Feb 07 21:39

Inspired by the television program mock the week - unlikely things to find in the bible.

I'll start:

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy.

😉

sonhouse

Fast and Curious

slatington, pa, usa

Joined: 28 Dec 04
Moves: 53419

21 Feb 07 21:51

Is that a thorn in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

Bad wolf

Joined: 23 Jul 05
Moves: 8869

21 Feb 07 23:00

There's all 14 commandments, now are you going to remember them all?

scottishinnz

Kichigai!

Osaka

Joined: 27 Apr 05
Moves: 8592

21 Feb 07 23:04

Originally posted by Bad wolf
Inspired by the television program mock the week - unlikely things to find in the bible.

I'll start:

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy.

😉

"And Jesus amused all on the mount with his comedic anal gas impersonations of farm animals"

Bad wolf

Joined: 23 Jul 05
Moves: 8869

21 Feb 07 23:10

When God said: 'let there be light'
Chuck Norris said: 'Please'.

vistesd

Hmmm . . .

Joined: 19 Jan 04
Moves: 22131

21 Feb 07 23:11

"Once upon a time... "

(Rather than "In the beginning." Though I know of a rabbi who translated the opening words exactly that way...)

josephw

A fun title

Scoffer Mocker

Joined: 27 Sep 06
Moves: 9958

21 Feb 07 23:12

The word "supernatural" does not appear in the bible.

Bad wolf

Joined: 23 Jul 05
Moves: 8869

21 Feb 07 23:26

1 edit

You can take slaves from neighbouring nations.

Edit: Oops! That's already in there. 😉

RBHILL

Acts 13:48

California

Joined: 21 May 03
Moves: 227555

22 Feb 07 01:39

Originally posted by Bad wolf
You can take slaves from neighbouring nations.

Edit: Oops! That's already in there. 😉

LOL, can you be mine?

KnightWulfe

Chess Samurai

Yes

Joined: 26 Apr 04
Moves: 66095

22 Feb 07 02:07

Originally posted by Bad wolf
There's all 14 commandments, now are you going to remember them all?

Thats 15 commandments and he dropped one of the tablets, so now there is only ten!

twhitehead

Cape Town

Joined: 14 Apr 05
Moves: 52945

22 Feb 07 07:29

Originally posted by josephw
The word "supernatural" does not appear in the bible.

Which translation? Clearly English words don't occur in Hebrew versions, but claims about English translations must state the translation or they are false.

AThousandYoung

Le Diable Blanc

tinyurl.com/yckbk55j

Joined: 23 Aug 04
Moves: 28332

22 Feb 07 07:54

Jesus making a false prediction.

Jesus predicts that he will be "in the heart of the earth" for three days and three nights. If by this he meant that he would be in the tomb for three days and three nights, then either he was mistaken or the gospels are in error. Because according to the gospels (this is one of the few things they all seem to agree on), Jesus was in the tomb for only one day and two nights. [Matthew] 12:40

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/abs/nt.html

Bad wolf

Joined: 23 Jul 05
Moves: 8869

22 Feb 07 18:37

And Jesus woke up! It was all a horrific nightmare!

nook7

Joined: 14 May 03
Moves: 89724

23 Feb 07 00:37

Facts and or logical truths. (i.e - that can be substantiated)

EAPOE

Earl of Rochester

Restoration London

Joined: 22 Dec 05
Moves: 7135

23 Feb 07 00:54

1 edit

Originally posted by Bad wolf
And Jesus woke up! It was all a horrific nightmare!

Just like Dallas. . . . But I bet Jesus woke up face down in the pub, shoved back to life by the strong smell of a domestos rich mop, pushing a sickly smile into his cheek.

Even the son of God has his bottom to reach. . . . .