1. Joined
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    15 Mar '12 15:45
    The sex b4 marriage thread prompts me to ask what makes a marriage a marriage. Apparently something goes on involving 2 people and maybe another being or beings; with those 2 people meeting certain eligibility requirements and with certain things happening to result in them being married -- and by that fact, able to do things without certain negative consequences, that would have had those consequences beforehand.

    So, among the various spiritual experts here, what's essential to there being a marriage?
  2. Territories Unknown
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    15 Mar '12 15:46
    Originally posted by JS357
    The sex b4 marriage thread prompts me to ask what makes a marriage a marriage. Apparently something goes on involving 2 people and maybe another being or beings; with those 2 people meeting certain eligibility requirements and with certain things happening to result in them being married -- and by that fact, able to do things without certain negative consequen ...[text shortened]... d.

    So, among the various spiritual experts here, what's essential to there being a marriage?
    Man and a woman, naturally.
  3. Joined
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    15 Mar '12 15:551 edit
    Originally posted by JS357
    The sex b4 marriage thread prompts me to ask what makes a marriage a marriage. Apparently something goes on involving 2 people and maybe another being or beings; with those 2 people meeting certain eligibility requirements and with certain things happening to result in them being married -- and by that fact, able to do things without certain negative consequen ...[text shortened]... d.

    So, among the various spiritual experts here, what's essential to there being a marriage?
    id say the key points are friendship, shared morals, trust, sexual attraction for me and my wife our shared sense of humor is important.

    whether or not you need a piece of paper, or approval from god is purely up to the individual.
  4. Standard memberRajk999
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    15 Mar '12 16:26
    Originally posted by JS357
    The sex b4 marriage thread prompts me to ask what makes a marriage a marriage. Apparently something goes on involving 2 people and maybe another being or beings; with those 2 people meeting certain eligibility requirements and with certain things happening to result in them being married -- and by that fact, able to do things without certain negative consequen ...[text shortened]... d.

    So, among the various spiritual experts here, what's essential to there being a marriage?
    Here is my 2 cents ..

    A marriage in the eyes of God starts when a man and a woman make vows to each other, either express or implied, to stay together, build a life together, start a family etc. That marriage is consumated or cemented in the eyes of God when the people 'know' each other.

    When God recognises a marriage might be at a different time from when it is recognised by the state or the church.

    eg a man an woman may live together, open bank accounts together, have kids together. That marriage is already recogized by God. The state will not consider them married. They church will say they are living in sin. But they are in fact husband and wife in the eyes of God. If the man takes another woman, he is comitting adultery in the eyes of God.
  5. Joined
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    15 Mar '12 17:40
    Originally posted by JS357
    The sex b4 marriage thread prompts me to ask what makes a marriage a marriage. Apparently something goes on involving 2 people and maybe another being or beings; with those 2 people meeting certain eligibility requirements and with certain things happening to result in them being married -- and by that fact, able to do things without certain negative consequen ...[text shortened]... d.

    So, among the various spiritual experts here, what's essential to there being a marriage?
    since you framed it in a spiritual context the answer to your question is simple.

    marriage has nothing to do with spirituality.
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    15 Mar '12 19:52
    Originally posted by VoidSpirit
    since you framed it in a spiritual context the answer to your question is simple.

    marriage has nothing to do with spirituality.
    another fail, it has everything to do with spirituality , all one needs to do is compare the
    successful marital system of a spiritually vibrant country like India with the disgraceful
    divorce rate of Western nations, who deviod of any spirituality because of their
    adherence to base materialistic ideology, treat it with contempt.
  7. Joined
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    15 Mar '12 21:04
    Originally posted by JS357
    The sex b4 marriage thread prompts me to ask what makes a marriage a marriage. Apparently something goes on involving 2 people and maybe another being or beings; with those 2 people meeting certain eligibility requirements and with certain things happening to result in them being married -- and by that fact, able to do things without certain negative consequen ...[text shortened]... d.

    So, among the various spiritual experts here, what's essential to there being a marriage?
    Taking some of the responses so far, something is a marriage if:

    - the participants in the marriage say it is (speaking through themselves)
    - the state says it is (an institution that speaks through people it designates)
    - the church says it is (an institution that speaks through people it designates)
    - God says it is (speaking through...?)

    Is it legitimate for any of these to speak for any of the others? How is this legitimized?
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    15 Mar '12 21:183 edits
    Originally posted by JS357
    Taking some of the responses so far, something is a marriage if:

    - the participants in the marriage say it is (speaking through themselves)
    - the state says it is (an institution that speaks through people it designates)
    - the church says it is (an institution that speaks through people it designates)
    - God says it is (speaking through...?)

    Is it legitimate for any of these to speak for any of the others? How is this legitimized?
    why must you complicate everything? a marraige is two imperfect people trying their
    best to live together in wedlock. Its legitimised in the contract between husband and
    wife.
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    15 Mar '12 21:27
    Originally posted by robbie carrobie
    another fail, it has everything to do with spirituality , all one needs to do is compare the
    successful marital system of a spiritually vibrant country like India with the disgraceful
    divorce rate of Western nations, who deviod of any spirituality because of their
    adherence to base materialistic ideology, treat it with contempt.
    the success of marriage in india, are you purely measuring success by divorce rates? surly there is more to a marriage than "staying together". Im in no way criticizing marriages in india, but it seems to me a cultures attitude towards sexual discrimination seems to go hand in hand with divorce rates. a society in which both sexes have more equality in careers have higher divorce rates. im not saying women should stay at home (after all im a house husband myself) but its probably more to do with expectations of living standards, if we needed less, one,either male of female could stay with the kids work less and remove the problem of couples both whaving stressful full time jobs and kids working all the hours just to pay for their massive mortgage, 2 cars, big holiday and sky subscription.....we can only achieve this by changing our lifestyles in the west. the consumer culture has a bigger effect on the failure western marriages than lack of religion.

    there is more to whats going on in the east and west than spirituality..its just having the right priorities.
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    15 Mar '12 21:571 edit
    Originally posted by stellspalfie
    the success of marriage in india, are you purely measuring success by divorce rates? surly there is more to a marriage than "staying together". Im in no way criticizing marriages in india, but it seems to me a cultures attitude towards sexual discrimination seems to go hand in hand with divorce rates. a society in which both sexes have more equality in ...[text shortened]... o whats going on in the east and west than spirituality..its just having the right priorities.
    you demonstrate the matter at hand that materialism is undoubtedly a contributing
    factor, but there is also a moral issue, watch any Indian film, marraige is for life, even
    an unhappy one, although i suspect that even in India, that most conservative of
    societies, values are changing.
  11. Joined
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    15 Mar '12 22:23
    Originally posted by robbie carrobie
    you demonstrate the matter at hand that materialism is undoubtedly a contributing
    factor, but there is also a moral issue, watch any Indian film, marraige is for life, even
    an unhappy one, although i suspect that even in India, that most conservative of
    societies, values are changing.
    the fact a marriage in india is for life isnt necessarily a good thing. its an impossible thing to equate though. maybe the important thing is to make sure young people have the emotional tools to make sure they are getting married for the right reasons in the first place, then we would negate a lot of the issues that cause a marriage to break up. for me a divorce is only matters if their are children involved. i dont think people really understand just how traumatic it is and how the children involved are more likely to go on repeat the mistakes of their parents.

    is the situation in india a spiritual thing or a cultural thing?
  12. Standard memberkaroly aczel
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    15 Mar '12 22:49
    Originally posted by stellspalfie
    the fact a marriage in india is for life isnt necessarily a good thing. its an impossible thing to equate though. maybe the important thing is to make sure young people have the emotional tools to make sure they are getting married for the right reasons in the first place, then we would negate a lot of the issues that cause a marriage to break up. for m ...[text shortened]... e mistakes of their parents.

    is the situation in india a spiritual thing or a cultural thing?
    religious and cultural, if i am not mistaken.
  13. Standard memberkaroly aczel
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    15 Mar '12 22:52
    Originally posted by JS357
    The sex b4 marriage thread prompts me to ask what makes a marriage a marriage. Apparently something goes on involving 2 people and maybe another being or beings; with those 2 people meeting certain eligibility requirements and with certain things happening to result in them being married -- and by that fact, able to do things without certain negative consequen ...[text shortened]... d.

    So, among the various spiritual experts here, what's essential to there being a marriage?
    One of the rare times, (although they do happen), that I agree with Freaky.

    You really cant say anymore than that. I've seen "love" cross the most ardous and desperate of boundaries. And it keeps on hapening, despite whatever lulu carrobie, or pickwit herman have to say about it. It seems to happen even more DEspite, (and hence,because of), them
  14. Joined
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    15 Mar '12 22:591 edit
    Originally posted by stellspalfie
    the success of marriage in india, are you purely measuring success by divorce rates? surly there is more to a marriage than "staying together". Im in no way criticizing marriages in india, but it seems to me a cultures attitude towards sexual discrimination seems to go hand in hand with divorce rates. a society in which both sexes have more equality in ...[text shortened]... o whats going on in the east and west than spirituality..its just having the right priorities.
    "a society in which both sexes have more equality in careers have higher divorce rate"

    I'm not disagreeing with you (the data are what matters to this point, and I have none). But I am wondering if a society that has had a tradition of young people marrying, and has had career inequality, will have a higher divorce rate for a while, perhaps for a generation or more, after career equality starts to be achieved. This would be while the equilibrium point is shifting toward a new one.

    This is also something that would yield to the data, which might take a while to amass.

    But it would put the lie to the idea that career equality is a CAUSE of a permanently high divorce rate. It may instead be the cause of a lower and/or later marriage rate. Edit: It could even lead to an increase of longevity of marriages entered into and a lower divorce rate.
  15. Joined
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    15 Mar '12 23:05
    Originally posted by robbie carrobie
    why must you complicate everything? a marraige is two imperfect people trying their
    best to live together in wedlock. Its legitimised in the contract between husband and
    wife.
    So, would no complications come their way from outside, if they were both men, or one was 12 years old? Which of the 4 authorities -- the couple, the state, the church, or God, would have a legitimate interest?

    It is the devil in the details, that adds the complications.
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