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Culture Forum

Culture Forum

  1. 15 Jan '09 20:05
    Spike Miiligan: Return to Sorento 1,2,3:

    I must go down to the sea again,
    The lonely sea and sky,
    I left my vest and socks there,
    I wonder if they're dry?
  2. 15 Jan '09 21:00
    There once was a man from Nantucket
    Whose sick was so long he could duck it
    He said with a grin
    As he wiped off his chin,
    "If my ear were a funt I would cuck it!"
  3. Standard member ChronicLeaky
    Don't Fear Me
    16 Jan '09 19:00
    A prokaryote and his brother
    were sharing a drink with each other.
    They, in their quaffing,
    split their sides laughing
    and now each of them is a mother.
  4. 17 Jan '09 00:36
    There once was a lady from Madras
    Who had a most beautiful ass
    Not the kind you may think
    All dimpled and pink
    It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.
  5. 18 Jan '09 04:07
    Spike again:

    Death to the dentist,
    Death to his chair,
    Death to his 'this might hurt',
    There! There! There!

    Death to his amalgam,Death to his nurse,
    Death to his injections, Curse! Curse! Curse!

    Death to his 'open wides',
    Death to his drill,
    Death to his fillings,
    Kill! Kill! Kill!
  6. 18 Jan '09 04:29
    Roses are red,
    Vioets are blue.
    I'm a schizophrenic
    and so am I !
  7. 19 Jan '09 17:59
    Originally posted by PinkFloyd
    Roses are red,
    Vioets are blue.
    I'm a schizophrenic
    and so am I !
    One I learned in grade school:

    There was a young lady from Niger
    Who smiled as she rode on a tiger

    They returned from the ride
    With the lady inside

    And the smile on the face of the tiger.
  8. 20 Jan '09 03:51
    Resume

    Razors pain you;
    Rivers are damp;
    Acids stain you;
    And drugs cause cramp.
    Guns aren't lawful;
    Nooses give;
    Gas smells awful;
    You might as well live.

    -- Dorothy Parker
  9. Subscriber huckleberryhound
    Devout Agnostic.
    20 Jan '09 04:31
    There once was a young man called Artur,
    who was an exceptional farter.
    On only one bean
    he'd fart "God save the Queen"
    And Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata"
  10. Standard member Bosse de Nage
    Zellulärer Automat
    20 Jan '09 10:18
    There was a man of Thessaly and he was wondrous wise:
    He jumped into a quick-set hedge and scratched out both his eyes
    And when he saw his eyes were out he'd reason to complain:
    He jumped into another hedge and scratched them in again
  11. 21 Jan '09 02:27 / 1 edit
    Das Gebet

    Die Rehlein beten zur Nacht,
    hab acht!

    Halb neun!

    Halb zehn!

    Halb elf!

    Halb zwölf!

    Zwölf!

    Die Rehlein beten zur Nacht,
    hab acht!
    Sie falten die kleinen Zehlein,
    die Rehlein.

    -Christian Morgenstern
  12. 21 Jan '09 02:28
    Originally posted by Nordlys
    Das Gebet

    Die Rehlein beten zur Nacht,
    hab acht!
    Halb neun!
    Halb zehn!
    Halb elf!
    Halb zwölf!
    Zwölf!
    Die Rehlein beten zur Nacht,
    hab acht!
    Sie falten die kleinen Zehlein,
    die Rehlein.

    -Christian Morgenstern
    Max Knight's translation:

    The Does' Prayer

    The does, as the hour grows late,
    med-it-ate;

    med-it-nine;

    med-i-ten;

    med-eleven;

    med-twelve;

    mednight!

    The does, as the hour grows late,
    meditate.
    They fold their little toesies,
    the doesies.
  13. 21 Jan '09 05:03
    Originally posted by Nordlys
    Max Knight's translation:

    The Does' Prayer

    The does, as the hour grows late,
    med-it-ate;

    med-it-nine;

    med-i-ten;

    med-eleven;

    med-twelve;

    mednight!

    The does, as the hour grows late,
    meditate.
    They fold their little toesies,
    the doesies.
    1 little monkey way going 2 the store
    When he saw a banana 3 he'd never seen be 4.
    By 5 o'clock that evening, he was 6 with a stomachache
    Because 7 green bananas was what that monkey 8.
    By 9 o'clock that evening, that monkey was quite ill
    So 10 he called the doctor who was 11 on the hill.
    The doctor said, "You're almost dead!
    Don't eat green bananas no more!"
    The little monkey groaned and said,
    "But that's what I 1 2 the 3 4!"

    --Shel Silverstein
  14. 22 Jan '09 20:00
    Originally posted by huckleberryhound
    There once was a young man called Artur,
    who was an exceptional farter.
    On only one bean
    he'd fart "God save the Queen"
    And Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata"
    The third movement of the Moonlight, I hope?? 😀
  15. 23 Jan '09 00:53
    At my very first piano lesson at age six I was taught the scale of C with a little song:

    I know a little pussy
    Her coat is silver grey.
    She lives down in the meadow
    Not so far away.
    Although she is a pussy
    She'll never be a cat,
    'Cuz she's a pussy willow
    Now what do you think of that! Then you played the C scale descending with: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, SCAT!

    That was all of 71 years ago and I still remember it! Now they are not taught scales until level 2.