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Culture Forum

Culture Forum

  1. Standard member Raven69
    Different
    20 Sep '10 18:42
    If you submitted an entry you have to vote to be eligible to win. You can't vote for your own entry.

    Here are all the sentences from this month. Vote for your favourite three. Your first choice gets 5 points, your
    second choice gets 3, and your third choice gets 1 point. Voting closes September 27, 2010.

    Eg.
    1. S (5 points)
    2. Y (3 points)
    3. R (1 point)
  2. Standard member Raven69
    Different
    20 Sep '10 18:42
    A. I was born with two dozen ears, so I bought a giraffe.

    B. Dad was old-school to the old-schoolers, to him nothing was impressive, all was suspect, ambition was vanity. Predictable, his often-and-early dismissals of my stabs at self-improvement: the failed bowling alley, the no-sale vacuum door-to-slammed-door, Amway with no one in my down line. To win him over, I needed to go big...so I bought a giraffe.

    C. My daughter won a year's supply of 'Cool Ranch Doritos'... so I bought a giraffe.

    D. I won the contract to wash all the windows in all the four story housing development so I gathered all my power lifters for the job but we lost power when a small asteroid hit the power grid which was to take a year to repair so I bought a giraffe.

    E. I was wicked pissa hungry when I went food shopping Saturday, so I bought a giraffe.

    F. Feeling so blue after selling my gnu, I needed a laugh so I bought a giraffe.

    G. After buying my first executioner's axe I needed to start with something easy, so I bought a giraffe.

    H. I knew that she wanted a hippopotamus for Christmas but they had just sold the last one so I bought a giraffe.

    I. No amount of coffee could restore my brains former lucidity, so I bought a giraffe.

    J. I had some left-over whipped cream, a need for self-expression and a weakness for Zappa, so I bought a giraffe.

    K. The day after he died, I saw his message (I'm worse than lousy with phones); I strained to listen to but catching only isolated phrases - "... come one, come all ... your gun is my butter ... so I bought a giraffe ..." - I gratefully accepted his last (uncommissioned) translation: death into enigma.

    L. I got fed up renting giraffes, so I bought a giraffe.

    M. They were out of Unicorn, the other white meat, so I bought a giraffe.

    N. My sex toy died, so I bought a giraffe.

    O. I was tired of dating short people so I bought a giraffe.

    P. My sheep's throat is too short so i bought a giraffe.

    Q. I didn't want to stand out in a crowd so I bought a giraffe.
  3. 20 Sep '10 18:57
    1. J
    2. N
    3. G
  4. Standard member ChessPraxis
    Cowboy From Hell
    20 Sep '10 19:06
    1.C
    2.O
    3.G
  5. 20 Sep '10 19:24
    1. F
    2. J
    3. G
  6. Standard member Ragnorak
    For RHP addons...
    20 Sep '10 19:34
    Originally posted by Raven69
    A. I was born with two dozen ears, so I bought a giraffe.

    B. Dad was old-school to the old-schoolers, to him nothing was impressive, all was suspect, ambition was vanity. Predictable, his often-and-early dismissals of my stabs at self-improvement: the failed bowling alley, the no-sale vacuum door-to-slammed-door, Amway with no one in my down line. To win ...[text shortened]... i bought a giraffe.

    Q. I didn't want to stand out in a crowd so I bought a giraffe.
    F.
    N.
    Q.

    D.
  7. Standard member karoly aczel
    the Devil himself
    20 Sep '10 20:16
    1. P
    2. O
    3. N

    Thnx for the lulz people­čÖé
  8. Standard member HandyAndy
    Non sum qualis eram
    20 Sep '10 21:46
    1. F
    2. J
    3. M
  9. 20 Sep '10 22:56
    1. M
    2. J
    3. L
  10. 21 Sep '10 00:17
    1. M
    2. G
    3. J
  11. 21 Sep '10 02:54
    P
    Q
    K
  12. Standard member Gatecrasher
    Whale watching
    21 Sep '10 04:48
    I
    J
    G
  13. Standard member Sunburnt
    Leopard Girl
    21 Sep '10 12:59
    L
    M
    O
  14. 21 Sep '10 14:42
    1. F
    2. D
    3. Q
  15. 21 Sep '10 21:56
    1. n
    2. j
    3. l