Stupid Jokes of the One Liner type...

Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

<ta da DUM> drum roll....


A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him"?
"Well", says the vet, "Let's have a lookat him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What?" the owner yelped. "Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's heavy."

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes. I'm positive."



A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"



A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve food here."


A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."


Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other-- "Does this taste funny to you?"


"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass Of Home."
'That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common??
"It's Not Unusual."

Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad, or maybe my older brother Calvin or my younger brother Hop-Sing Lee. But I'm pretty sure it's Calvin.

I've been fighting SIDS all my life. It isn't easy being a liberal.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.



I went to the butcher's the other day to bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

A man woke up in a hospital afer a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't. I had to amputate your arms."

HAHAHA...I enjoyed these..if no one else does

Celine Dion walks into a bar. The barman turns and says, "Why the long face?"

😀🙄

Once upon a time there were two Irishmen... now look how many there are.

Two men walking down the street. The first guy walks into a bar. The second guy follows, which is kinda stupid because you'd think the second guy would have seen the first guy do it.

.....*GROAN*.....

Nice.

I flew my helicopter downtown, couldn't find a place
to park so I tied it to a parking meter and left
it running.

Originally posted by sonhouse
I flew my helicopter downtown, couldn't find a place
to park so I tied it to a parking meter and left
it running.

Salami sliced right here folks, real cheap

Originally posted by sonhouse
Salami sliced right here folks, real cheap