Originally posted by royalchickeni don't know if humans are hardwired to be monogamous or otherwise.
Do mean only in specific cases, or do you mean that humans are not 'hardwired'?
certainly the variety exists regardless of the wiring.
that's why it seems to me that we just make individual choices - though that choice can often be influenced or even imposed by society.
in friendship,
prad
Originally posted by pradtfOK, let me try explaining another way that is not scientific. The term "hardwire" is really out of my realm of expertise. This may be a problem of, dare I say, sin. I drive a '97 Camry that has about 140K miles on it. Basic and good transportation for me. I am looking at a magazine and I see a picture of a Porsche (any model will do) and I say to myself "I really would like that." Now I know I don't need it, but human nature being what it is (Prad, I know yours is a little more evolved than most of us) I decide to make a poor choice as I cannot afford the Porsche. My feelings of desire have over-riden sensible thinking. I lust after the car, even though my loyal Camry has been beside me for many years (and not strayed once). Now I know women have the same experience with other things. My wife likes to go through catalogs and dream. The stuff she dreams about (at least in my opinion) is frivolous. But it is a very human reaction and again it may be a theological issue (thou shalt not covet...).
that certainly seems to be true for some species.
are you sure though that humans are hardwired for polygamy?
even if that is so, we can still make the choice one way or another.
for example, some partners choose a 1:1 existence. some choose otherwise.
i don't see what hardwiring has to do with it in the case of homo sapiens.
in friendship,
prad
Originally posted by elvendreamgirlMaybe it's something to do with married women tending to be older than unmarried women. This is especially true in the 21st century, when many people won't marry until their 30s or later. In the middle ages, marriage at the start of puberty was the norm for women, and not much older for men.
I have noticed l;ately alot of commentsfrom men and women regarding married couple's sexual relationships. From what I am hearinf\g, it seems alot of wives refuse to do the "fun" sex things. They only want your basic missionary style sex act. Is this true? If so, WHY?????
I would think married couples would have a field day doing everything there is to do out there!!!! I certainly will when ALex and I marry.
I do know that some men don't wnat sex , so it is not just women. I have a friend married to a man who would rather masturbate than be intimate with her. Iam assuming that he finds it easier than putting out the time and energy in sex with his wife. I would think he must be totally self-absorbed.
Originally posted by elvendreamgirlPossibly. Or perhaps he has a frustration that prohibits his 'entrepreneurship'.
I do know that some men don't wnat sex , so it is not just women. I have a friend married to a man who would rather masturbate than be intimate with her. Iam assuming that he finds it easier than putting out the time and energy in sex with his wife. I would think he must be totally self-absorbed.
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Originally posted by kirksey957ok i understand what you are getting at now.
OK, let me try explaining another way that is not scientific. The term "hardwire" is really out of my realm of expertise. This may be a problem of, dare I say, sin. I drive a '97 Camry that has about 140K miles on it. Basic and go ...[text shortened]... and again it may be a theological issue (thou shalt not covet...).
i still see it as a choice though.
i definitely do not see it as a human reaction, but rather as the reaction of some individual humans.
so let me explain.
if 2 people agree to a monogamous relationship, then that is what it should be.
if they agree to something different, then that is how it should be.
the problems start i guess when one (or both) of them changes his or her mind and the 2 minds are no longer aligned.
so then it becomes time for the interested parties to evaluate the situation. if the alignment is sufficiently far off, it may be time to 'take a break' possibly a permanent one.
if the alignment is close enough, then modifications may be possible either in the relationship or in the attitudes of the individuals.
humans tend to display very individual characteristics. as a result, you get very individual solutions to different problems. given the situation, some solutions are probably better than others.
i have never bought the "it is human nature" argument, because there really isn't any such thing as 'human nature' (yet, that argument seems to often be used to justify all kinds of stuff). for example, you don't have to want that porsche. you don't have to want the camry either. a bicycle might to just fine. or walking. it is our choice how we travel the path we are on.
in friendship,
prad
Originally posted by pradtfSeems like a classic case of taking the extremes in the nature-nurture debate. I'm not a fan of the 'hardwired' option either, but I don't think you can simply deny it either. I do see it as a matter of choice, but that choice is influenced by, amongs others, our evolutionary history. It's also influenced by religious beliefs, cultural practices, material circumstances and so on. At different points in space and time one of those factors may have more influence, but our 'instincts' always seem to be playing a part in it, especially when considering it on the individual level.
ok i understand what you are getting at now.
i still see it as a choice though.
[...]
in friendship,
prad
But maybe I shouldn't have pick this thread to post my first message in the debates forum 🙂
Originally posted by DdVhey david!
Seems like a classic case of taking the extremes in the nature-nurture debate. I'm not a fan of the 'hardwired' option either, but I don't think you can simply deny it either. I do see it as a matter of choice, but that choice is influenced by, amongs others, our evolutionary history. It's also influenced by religious beliefs, cultural practices, material ...[text shortened]...
But maybe I shouldn't have pick this thread to post my first message in the debates forum 🙂
nice to see you here.
nice to hear from you after all this time.
i'm not denying instincts - i'm just saying that we have the choice despite what seems instinctive.
while environment does have a profound influence, we still have a choice though we may not have control - for instance, if you are put through a child marriage.
have fun in the debates forum, david!
in friendship,
prad
Originally posted by skeeterPRUDE......(you said it not me)
Call me a prude but I find the tone of this thread degenerating into[b]".....offensive" Tone it down or I will alert it. Thanks.
Michelle[/b]
i dont think theres nothin wrong with this post.....it seems like most girls dont like to do much either.....but the spare the birthdays and valentines day....😀