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Bad jokes

Bad jokes

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d

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My friend Edward shortened his name without bothering to let me know.

He's Ted to me now.

m
Ajarn

Wat?

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Originally posted by dottewell
My friend Edward shortened his name without bothering to let me know.

He's Ted to me now.
That's bad, but not even a joke or remotely funny. 🙁

How did you know when it was midnight in Michael Jackson's home?

When the big hand touched the little hand!

-m.

That's bad, and a joke, of course. 😉

ka
The Axe man

Brisbane,QLD

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The 'chicken crossing road' joke and most variations on it.

Why did the computer cross the road?

S
Caninus Interruptus

2014.05.01

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Jay London is the King of bad one-liners.

My girlfriend is a semi-nude model - she does a half-asss job.

huckleberryhound
Devout Agnostic.

DZ-015

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This guy got a phonecall while on the motorway saying he got a promotion. He was so excited he crashed his car into the embankment. When asked by the police what happened, he said he careered off the road.

divegeester
watching in dismay

STARMERGEDDON

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A bear goes into a bar, walks up to the barman and says:

I will have a ............................................................................................................. pint please.

The barman says:

Why the big paws?

Grampy Bobby
Boston Lad

USA

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A guy posts a particularly bad thread in the Red Hot Pawn General Forum. Half the readers thumb it down. Half tried to kill it. The other half just smile and murmur, 'Hmm... another gb orphan".

.

m
Ajarn

Wat?

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Originally posted by huckleberryhound
This guy got a phonecall while on the motorway saying he got a promotion. He was so excited he crashed his car into the embankment. When asked by the police what happened, he said he careered off the road.
😀

Grampy Bobby
Boston Lad

USA

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Originally posted by mikelom
😀
😀 [WORD TOO LONG] 😀

catfoodtim

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Ponderable
chemist

Linkenheim

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Originally posted by dottewell
My friend Edward shortened his name without bothering to let me know.

He's Ted to me now.
I apologize for asking, but as non-native speaker I think that the homonymous nature of dead and Ted was the joke?

Allen steht das Wasser bis zum Hals,

nur nicht Heiner, der ist kleiner 😉

Ro

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I run one of the biggest banks in the world. I am part of a banking system that brought the world's economies to the point of collapse, requiring trillions of pounds of taxpayer support and triggering the worst recession in living memory, and possibly the collapse of democracy in some European countries affected.

My bank has now been convicted of systematically lying about the interest rates which influence what countries, companies and mortgage holders can borrow at for 5 years or more, and allowing its traders to profit from those lies.

Punchline : In 2011, when the bank was under investigation, and was aware that these offences had been committed, the remuneration committee thought it right to pay me £20.9m. And I have no intention of resigning.

Not thats a bad joke.

m
Ajarn

Wat?

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Originally posted by Ponderable
I apologize for asking, but as non-native speaker I think that the homonymous nature of dead and Ted was the joke?

Allen steht das Wasser bis zum Hals,

nur nicht Heiner, der ist kleiner 😉
Yes it was, and that made it even less funny..... I got that bit! 😉

But very well spotted, as it was almost an idiomatic game.

-m.

catfoodtim

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Ponderable
chemist

Linkenheim

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The post that was quoted here has been removed
the bad joke was thet he wrote in first person to show how bad the behaviour of the person in question was....and you should add a bad joke 😉

Alle Tiere lieben sich, nur das Opposum Dieterich finden alle widerlich!

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