Originally posted by darvlayDear Sheep Luster,
Here's one from a friend:
"Brad,
I'm tired of playing this game. Either we tell everyone about our feelings for each other or you'll have to find someone else to wear that leather sheep suit.
Yours with lust,
Rico"
HoH, what should Brad do?
Fortunately I have it on good authority that Brad has some sheep on the side that aren't nearly as demanding, fussy or as talkative as Rico (though the incessant bleating is annoying). Rico should consider himself lucky that Brad hasn't broken out his Clydesdale costume complete with larger than life size strap on.
Regards,
The Hand.
Originally posted by Hand of HecateMy ex-girlfriend loved Anzu. The one we went to was in Berkeley though, and it didn't really seem to be a chain. If I remember correctly it's on the east side of Shattuck, just south of UCB, and close to a "massage parlor" (if you know what I mean).
Dear Tastes Like Chicken,
During my one trip to San Fran I dined at a place called Anzu. Exceptional food all the way round. The head waitress was a STUNNING asian/euro mix with deafening eyes and a body to die for. Yum.
I don't recall where it is and could be bothered looking it up. Plus, I had to be poured into a cab being blitzed on 5 di ...[text shortened]... es of Saki. I'm lucky I made it to the hotel room.
Good Fisting.
Regards,
The Hand.
In SF itself...I remember something about "sushi boats" on a little conveyer belt...I think it's in Chinatown somewhere.
Originally posted by Hand of HecateDear Flabby -
Dear Sheep Luster,
Fortunately I have it on good authority that Brad has some sheep on the side that aren't nearly as demanding, fussy or as talkative as Rico (though the incessant bleating is annoying). Rico should consider himself lucky that Brad hasn't broken out his Clydesdale costume complete with larger than life size strap on.
Regards,
The Hand.
I recently had the neighbors over for sushi , and thought I'd give blowfish a try , as I've heard so much about it . Well just after serving the tastey treat , I had to politely excuse myself to the little cowboy's room , and upon returning found them stone dead . What's the proper way to dispose of recently deceased dinner guests ? Or should I make it look like they had a spat and knifed each other ? (I was fond of them , so of course want to treat their bloated corpses with as much dignity and taste as is possible .)
- Klutzy Cook
Originally posted by AThousandYoungI found a review... this is the place... almost worth the trip itself... especially as I was fortunate enough to be able to expense the meal. Truly though, the hostess was an amazingly beautiful woman who haunts my dreams to this day.
My ex-girlfriend loved Anzu. The one we went to was in Berkeley though, and it didn't really seem to be a chain. If I remember correctly it's on the east side of Shattuck, just south of UCB, and close to a "massage parlor" (if you know what I mean).
In SF itself...I remember something about "sushi boats" on a little conveyer belt...I think it's in Chinatown somewhere.
http://www.openlist.com/restaurants-view-anzu2.htm
Originally posted by Moldy CrowDear Hope You Have a Shovel,
Dear Flabby -
I recently had the neighbors over for sushi , and thought I'd give blowfish a try , as I've heard so much about it . Well just after serving the tastey treat , I had to politely excuse myself to the little cowboy's room , and upon returning found them stone dead . What's the proper way to dispose of recently deceased dinner guests ? O ...[text shortened]... o treat their bloated corpses with as much dignity and taste as is possible .)
- Klutzy Cook
You are at least fortunate that they were neighbors and most likely walk over to your place so you don't need to dispose of a vehicle. In addition, the organic poison should fade to undetectable levels within 1 week. You'll need gloves, a painters coveralls, a large plastic sheet, duct tape, a fiberglass handled shovel, a bag of lime, a 55 gallon drum and some gasoline. I would not recommend dismemberment as this is messy and takes up a surprising amount of time. In a reasonable amount of time find somewhere remote to dispose of the bodies, you'll need to get some sleep if you end up dealing with cops.
Wrap the bodies one at a time in plastic sheet secured with duct tape, remove plastic bagging prior to dumping, lime will help keep the smell to a minimum as quick concealment is all you'll have time for. Beat the bodies with your shovel, hence the fiberglass handle to conceal the cause of death. Gather up and burn all of your clothing, plastic sheeting, duct tape, cut off and burn the handle of the shovel, dispose of the head of the shovel on your way home from the dump site. Preferably burn the evidence at another remote site away from the body dumping ground.
Regards from Cell Block D.
Originally posted by Hand of HecateDear Master Criminal Mind -
Dear Hope You Have a Shovel,
You are at least fortunate that they were neighbors and most likely walk over to your place so you don't need to dispose of a vehicle. In addition, the organic poison should fade to undetectable levels within 1 week. You'll need gloves, a painters coveralls, a large plastic sheet, duct tape, a fiberglass handled shov ...[text shortened]... evidence at another remote site away from the body dumping ground.
Regards from Cell Block D.
Thanks for the expertise' !
Do you accept slightly bloody third party checks ?
- Still Digging
PS - I saw you on "Cold Case Files" on A&E network . That actor didn't look a thing like your mugshot ! I'd sue !
2 edits
Dear Hand,
Recently i started hearing voices in my head, telling me to do things. Not very nice things, but at least sensible, in a twisted kind of way. Then, last week they told me to go outside wearing just my g/f's pink tutu and the head of my gorillagram work uniform and walk through the streets waving a semi-automatic weapon and haranguing people about the coming day of the apocalypse. I think they're taking the piss. What should i do?
The Prophet of the Apocalypse
PS
THE DAY OF THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING!!!!
Dear Hand,
I like to sleep with my teachers so I can blackmail them afterwards by threatening to go to the headmaster, so I have total control over them. I will be the most powerful person at school, I can manipulate everyone, I have my own little empire! Fwahahaha!
Please tell me, dear Hand-how can I gain control over my female teachers, since I'm not into homosexual stuff?
Your payment will arrive when I rule the world. Or, instead of the 1.59$, you could also be President of the US or something if you prefer that 😛
yours truly,
*
*name withheld
Dear Dr.Hand,
Thanks for the sushi advice...top notch baby! We, speaking the collective "we", have a sort of a canker sore that we can't seem to neutralize.
It's name is Bowmann and he has been smearing his fecal matter in the forums for sometime now. Usually it happens every few days and when confronted, he wilts and sulks back into his cesspool.
Is there anything that can be taken to relieve this itching? Please let me know and thanks in advance.
Joe, who thinks Bowmann is an expert a$$-felcher, Fist
Originally posted by angie88er Angie - someone has already tried to gain control over the world that way. her name was Monica and her plan didn't work. just thought i would let you know
Dear Hand,
I like to sleep with my teachers so I can blackmail them afterwards by threatening to go to the headmaster, so I have total control over them. I will be the most powerful person at school, I can manipulate everyone, I have my own little empire! Fwahahaha!
Please tell me, dear Hand-how can I gain control over my female teachers, since I'm not ...[text shortened]... dent of the US or something if you prefer that 😛
yours truly,
*
*name withheld
D😉
Originally posted by Joe FistDear Don't Scratch Too Hard,
Dear Dr.Hand,
Thanks for the sushi advice...top notch baby! We, speaking the collective "we", have a sort of a canker sore that we can't seem to neutralize.
It's name is Bowmann and he has been smearing his fecal matter in the forums for sometime now. Usually it happens every few days and when confronted, he wilts and sulks back into his cesspoo ...[text shortened]... ase let me know and thanks in advance.
Joe, who thinks Bowmann is an expert a$$-felcher, Fist
unfortunately, Dr. Hand isn't in right now. I am his assistant and I shall try to help you.
The way I would recommend is chemicals. Use his over-inflated ego as a tool.
Example: Mr. Bowmann, I bet you're not able to mix glycerin and nitric acid and run half a mile with the product you get.
See, simple chemistry solves the problem 😛
Yours truly,
Miss Right-Hand-Man
Originally posted by angie88lock the female teachers in a janitors closet with a male teacher. supply them with food and drink and leave them there for a couple of months. by the time you get back the food will be gone and the sexual tension will have gotten to the female members of the group so much so that they end up having intercourse in the closet, or even worse they might end up gang raping him with a mop.
Dear Hand,
I like to sleep with my teachers so I can blackmail them afterwards by threatening to go to the headmaster, so I have total control over them. I will be the most powerful person at school, I can manipulate everyone, I have my own little empire! Fwahahaha!
Please tell me, dear Hand-how can I gain control over my female teachers, since I'm not ...[text shortened]... dent of the US or something if you prefer that 😛
yours truly,
*
*name withheld
this should provide sufficient blackmailing material with which to own your teachers, both male and female.
on the other hand i suggest that you dump your teachers and go for someone more you age and type, e.g. a random bloke on a chess website called freddie who you've never met before 😉
fred
Originally posted by Freddie2004http://www.redhotpawn.com/profile/playerprofile.php?uid=97840
lock the female teachers in a janitors closet with a male teacher. supply them with food and drink and leave them there for a couple of months. by the time you get back the food will be gone and the sexual tension will have gotten to the female members of the group so much so that they end up having intercourse in the closet, or even worse they might end ...[text shortened]... e, e.g. a random bloke on a chess website called freddie who you've never met before 😉
fred
Yup, that guy would be pretty nice for angie. I mean, everyone wants to date a celebrity.