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Don't worry, I'm here to help...

Don't worry, I'm here to help...

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
It is patently obvious that the vast majority of you are screwed up in one way or another. As I, at one point or another, have struggled with a veritable stew of psychosis, I feel that I am in a extremely skilled and accomplished in both diagnosis and recommending a course of treatment.

Think of this as an opportunity for catharsis, purification o ...[text shortened]... in an almost Jesus like fashion, I will lift said burdens from your spirit with wise council.
http://home.iprimus.com.au/jeffcotter/img_1079.jpg



Can anything be done?

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Originally posted by Starrman
Why, you're right! Why did I not see it before? I'm off to plan a love triangle/murder/suicide event a la "La Femme d'à côté".
Sounds good. I have already talked to some film people who agreed that it would make a great documentary. They'll show up at your house soon.

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Originally posted by Nordlys
Sounds good. I have already talked to some film people who agreed that it would make a great documentary. They'll show up at your house soon.
Cool, can all royalties please go to my mother?

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Originally posted by Starrman
Cool, can all royalties please go to my mother?
She's not part of the love triangle?

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Originally posted by dyl
She's not part of the love triangle?
Don't make me ridicule your cricket team a third time....

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Originally posted by Starrman
Don't make me ridicule your cricket team a third time....
We broke the OD world record.

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Originally posted by Starrman
Cool, can all royalties please go to my mother?
I think it would only be fair if their mothers also got their share.

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Originally posted by darvlay
I smell my own used toilet paper.

Make it stop, Hand.
That is nothing, I have second hand toilet paper.

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Originally posted by dyl
We broke the OD world record.
And then lost it again...

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Originally posted by Nordlys
I think it would only be fair if their mothers also got their share.
Hmm... Well maybe, but the deal better be good.

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Originally posted by Starrman
And then lost it again...
...While setting another, much less impressive world record.

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Originally posted by dyl
She's not part of the love triangle?
I always thought that Starrman had been grown in a tube, I shocked to find out that he even has a mother.

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
I always thought that Starrman had been grown in a tube, I shocked to find out that he even has a mother.
Even laboratory equipment has feelings.

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
It is patently obvious that the vast majority of you are screwed up in one way or another. As I, at one point or another, have struggled with a veritable stew of psychosis, I feel that I am in a extremely skilled and accomplished in both diagnosis and recommending a course of treatment.

Think of this as an opportunity for catharsis, purification o ...[text shortened]... in an almost Jesus like fashion, I will lift said burdens from your spirit with wise council.
Dear Hand-

After much deliberation and soul searching, my brother inlaw and I have decided to off my cat.(It's presently tied to the tree.) Being a complete incompitent at killing anything, we were wondering which of the following would do the job most humanely: an oboe, a power mitre saw, a tea cozy.

Also, not being able to live with ourselves after such a craven and cruel act, what's the proper etiquet on ending our pathetic lives: I kill him first then myself; he kills me then kills himself; or we attempt to simultainiously off each other?

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Originally posted by Moldy Crow
Dear Hand-

After much deliberation and soul searching, my brother inlaw and I have decided to off my cat.(It's presently tied to the tree.) Being a complete incompitent at killing anything, we were wondering which of the following would do the job most humanely: an oboe, a power mitre saw, a tea cozy.

Also, not being able to live with ourselves af ...[text shortened]... then myself; he kills me then kills himself; or we attempt to simultainiously off each other?
I supect that stuffing the cat in the tea cozy, tying the end shut and jumping on it repeatedly would do the trick. You could follow this with the use of a saw if the jumping and stomping didn't do the trick. Seriously, though, killing a cat should not be particularly hard. Even an imbecile armed only with a hammer should be able to finish the job in a couple of wacks, was tying it to a tree really a well thought out plan?

As far as killing yourselves goes, I wouldn't recommend the attempt as you are obviously not qualified. Settle for stabing each other repeatedly in the face with those tiny corn forks.