General Forum

General Forum

  1. Joined
    10 Jan '08
    Moves
    11419
    08 Jul '19 20:47
    Poured coffee into the cup with eggs for scrambling rather than the empty cup... oops
  2. Arch Stantons Grave
    Joined
    04 Feb '11
    Moves
    31217
    08 Jul '19 21:06
    Having been on many first aid courses I was nominated as the first aider at work.
    All went smoothly until some poor benighted swine cut his head and I was called to attend.
    The chumps already on scene had been unable to staunch the blood flow.
    Without thinking I quickly applied a tourniquet around his neck.
    The bleeding did stop, but I was removed from first aid duties shortly afterwards.

    They asked me if I required counselling. I said losing the £80 per month (approx. $100) first aid allowance was upsetting but counselling was not required.
  3. Joined
    06 Nov '15
    Moves
    30790
    08 Jul '19 21:12
    @the-gravedigger said
    Having been on many first aid courses I was nominated as the first aider at work.
    All went smoothly until some poor benighted swine cut his head and I was called to attend.
    The chumps already on scene had been unable to staunch the blood flow.
    Without thinking I quickly applied a tourniquet around his neck.
    The bleeding did stop, but I was removed from first aid d ...[text shortened]... the £80 per month (approx. $100) first aid allowance was upsetting but counselling was not required.
    I've asked an abdominally plump lady about the due date of her baby. She wasn't pregnant.

    I'm still spitting-out the black feathers from that debacle. 🙂
  4. Standard memberExecutioner Brand
    Grass Farmer
    Joined
    28 Nov '16
    Moves
    5882
    08 Jul '19 21:15
    I had been up since 2 am, as usual, and was leaving the stop smoke clinic. As I was leaving with my pushbike there was a loud noise as I forgot it was locked to the downpipe.
  5. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
    Halifax, Nova Scotia
    Joined
    04 Oct '06
    Moves
    472097
    08 Jul '19 21:16
    @wolfe63 said
    I've asked an abdominally plump lady about the due date of her baby. She wasn't pregnant.

    I'm still spitting-out the black feathers from that debacle. 🙂
    OMG wolfy how embarrassing for you & her...Did she have some choice words for you that can't be repeated on here?

    -VR
  6. SubscriberPatzering
    is getting old...
    Joined
    13 Jun '19
    Moves
    17546
    08 Jul '19 21:23
    LoL they're all funny 😄
  7. Standard memberwolfgang59
    surviving
    Covid-19
    Joined
    09 Jun '07
    Moves
    48729
    08 Jul '19 21:27
    Many years ago on a boozy night out down the pub it was just before
    last orders. My mate offers to be a round but I've had enough
    (I still have most of my pint left from previous round) and refuse a
    drink. After some negotiation I agree to half a pint as a top up.

    My mate returns and hands me my beer.
    Which I pour into my still half-full pint glass to top it up.
    ... except he hadn't bought me a half as promised, it was another pint!
  8. Subscriberrookie54
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
    Joined
    09 Mar '08
    Moves
    160632
    08 Jul '19 22:03
    i was as polite as could be
    i asked her nicely if i could touch her hair
    she was coy, but nodded her assent
    when i ran my finger across her top lip

    that's when the fight started
  9. SubscriberPatzering
    is getting old...
    Joined
    13 Jun '19
    Moves
    17546
    08 Jul '19 22:05
    Hahahaha
  10. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
    Halifax, Nova Scotia
    Joined
    04 Oct '06
    Moves
    472097
    08 Jul '19 22:09
    @rookie54 said
    i was as polite as could be
    i asked her nicely if i could touch her hair
    she was coy, but nodded her assent
    when i ran my finger across her top lip

    that's when the fight started
    That is a lot of B.S....Hell I can smell it from here!!!

    -VR
  11. SubscriberFMF
    Studying God figures
    Human Condition East
    Joined
    28 Oct '05
    Moves
    30003
    09 Jul '19 03:18
    @trev33 said
    Poured coffee into the cup with eggs for scrambling rather than the empty cup... oops
    Most of my attempts to cook scrambled eggs have been among the dumbest things I have done.
  12. Joined
    15 Dec '03
    Moves
    299480
    09 Jul '19 04:29
    @trev33 said
    Poured coffee into the cup with eggs for scrambling rather than the empty cup... oops
    Got married twice and spawned 4 devils. I be a rich man if I kept my thing in my pants. Ah. The memories. Gonna die a poor man
  13. Standard memberMudfinger
    Ol' Dirty Heathen
    I'm Naked!
    Joined
    04 Jul '18
    Moves
    1005
    09 Jul '19 05:36
    @the-gravedigger said
    Having been on many first aid courses I was nominated as the first aider at work.
    All went smoothly until some poor benighted swine cut his head and I was called to attend.
    The chumps already on scene had been unable to staunch the blood flow.
    Without thinking I quickly applied a tourniquet around his neck.
    The bleeding did stop, but I was removed from first aid d ...[text shortened]... the £80 per month (approx. $100) first aid allowance was upsetting but counselling was not required.
    You did the proper thing. Tourniquets are a viable and effective method of precluding excessive blood flow out of the common swine's body.
  14. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    Hero of the masses
    in London
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
    Moves
    19967
    09 Jul '19 07:36
    First job in London (only been there a week or two) and as I got off the train I suddenly realized my work mobile wasn't in my pocket. In sheer panic, I got the next train to Victoria and rushed to lost property in the desperate hope that somebody had handed it in. (Yes, I tried to get some random person to ring my phone, but it just rang and rang). Suffice to say, nobody had handed it in and I had to endure the embarrassment of telling my manager that I had managed to lose my phone.

    Got home that evening and found the mobile plugged into the wall, charging.
  15. SubscriberPatzering
    is getting old...
    Joined
    13 Jun '19
    Moves
    17546
    09 Jul '19 10:26
    Just about everything I do is dumb but one time I trashed my place looking for my reading glasses only to realize I was wearing them.
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