Poured coffee into the cup with eggs for scrambling rather than the empty cup... oops

Having been on many first aid courses I was nominated as the first aider at work.
All went smoothly until some poor benighted swine cut his head and I was called to attend.
The chumps already on scene had been unable to staunch the blood flow.
Without thinking I quickly applied a tourniquet around his neck.
The bleeding did stop, but I was removed from first aid duties shortly afterwards.

They asked me if I required counselling. I said losing the £80 per month (approx. $100) first aid allowance was upsetting but counselling was not required.

@the-gravedigger said
Having been on many first aid courses I was nominated as the first aider at work.
All went smoothly until some poor benighted swine cut his head and I was called to attend.
The chumps already on scene had been unable to staunch the blood flow.
Without thinking I quickly applied a tourniquet around his neck.
The bleeding did stop, but I was removed from first aid d ...[text shortened]... the £80 per month (approx. $100) first aid allowance was upsetting but counselling was not required.

I had been up since 2 am, as usual, and was leaving the stop smoke clinic. As I was leaving with my pushbike there was a loud noise as I forgot it was locked to the downpipe.

@wolfe63 said
I've asked an abdominally plump lady about the due date of her baby. She wasn't pregnant.

I'm still spitting-out the black feathers from that debacle. 🙂

LoL they're all funny 😄

Many years ago on a boozy night out down the pub it was just before
last orders. My mate offers to be a round but I've had enough
(I still have most of my pint left from previous round) and refuse a
drink. After some negotiation I agree to half a pint as a top up.

My mate returns and hands me my beer.
Which I pour into my still half-full pint glass to top it up.
... except he hadn't bought me a half as promised, it was another pint!

i was as polite as could be
i asked her nicely if i could touch her hair
she was coy, but nodded her assent
when i ran my finger across her top lip

that's when the fight started

Hahahaha

@rookie54 said
i was as polite as could be
i asked her nicely if i could touch her hair
she was coy, but nodded her assent
when i ran my finger across her top lip

that's when the fight started

@trev33 said
Poured coffee into the cup with eggs for scrambling rather than the empty cup... oops

@trev33 said
Poured coffee into the cup with eggs for scrambling rather than the empty cup... oops

@the-gravedigger said
Having been on many first aid courses I was nominated as the first aider at work.
All went smoothly until some poor benighted swine cut his head and I was called to attend.
The chumps already on scene had been unable to staunch the blood flow.
Without thinking I quickly applied a tourniquet around his neck.
The bleeding did stop, but I was removed from first aid d ...[text shortened]... the £80 per month (approx. $100) first aid allowance was upsetting but counselling was not required.

First job in London (only been there a week or two) and as I got off the train I suddenly realized my work mobile wasn't in my pocket. In sheer panic, I got the next train to Victoria and rushed to lost property in the desperate hope that somebody had handed it in. (Yes, I tried to get some random person to ring my phone, but it just rang and rang). Suffice to say, nobody had handed it in and I had to endure the embarrassment of telling my manager that I had managed to lose my phone.

Got home that evening and found the mobile plugged into the wall, charging.

Just about everything I do is dumb but one time I trashed my place looking for my reading glasses only to realize I was wearing them.