Originally posted by huckleberryhoundHuck, your happiness has always shone through and you have never represented your wife in a one-dimensional fashion nor generalized Western women, as far as I have ever seen.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1522663/womens_rights_in_india_today.html
Eh...so taking advantage of The effects of mistreatment is a good thing?
I've been watching this thread with intrest. I think i can call my wife "Eastern" although i may need confirmation on that, but i think that there is a great difference in the treatment of ...[text shortened]... ast...some good, some bad. I have been careful not to insult you in this post, or your wife.
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Originally posted by huckleberryhoundAgain this has more straw than the straw man meeting the first little pig on his way to buy strawberries, who said anything about mistreatment? You are assigning values to me that dont exist and basing an evaluation on those values. I think that divorce rates are high because of a culture of expediency compared to a culture which emphasises commitment, are you denying that such is the case?
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1522663/womens_rights_in_india_today.html
Eh...so taking advantage of The effects of mistreatment is a good thing?
I've been watching this thread with intrest. I think i can call my wife "Eastern" although i may need confirmation on that, but i think that there is a great difference in the treatment of ast...some good, some bad. I have been careful not to insult you in this post, or your wife.
Originally posted by robbie carrobieIt's not my "terms", these are statistical facts. Divorce rates correlate with gender equality and marital equality. The places where women have the least rights have very low divorce rates.
Is that supposed to be an explanation? Perhaps you are unaware that a partner for life, actually means a partner for life. Indeed it is common for not only women to remain unmarried, but also men, making your point of stigmatisation, rather ineffectual. I do not explain divorce rates in those terms, those are you terms not mine, i thought i made i ...[text shortened]... ity, perceived or otherwise, indeed, i think its both a moral issue and a culture of expediency.
I also don't see what's so noble about commitment for life no matter what. It shouldn't be about holding on to a marriage through gritted teeth.
Originally posted by robbie carrobieI don't think you even want to go into the violence against women that happens on a daily basis in India.
Why is that surprising? Are you saying that there is no cultural differences which have a bearing on ones disposition towards ones spouse in a relationship? How do you therefore explain the almost negligible rate of divorce in say India (1.1% ) compared to the United states of America, presently at about (50% )
The fact that there is a low divorce rate in India is incidative of the way that women are treated in that country.
Originally posted by Sunburntwhy should i , i think its wonderful the way she treats me as she does. indeed , all attempts to describe it as, waiting upon, a maid, demeaning her personality etc really belie my point, in that there is definitely a cultural difference which you people perceive as being derogatory and which is far from the truth. She loves looking after me in the way she does.
While I understand you are being facetious, perhaps if you described less of your wife's waiting on you and as if her role were only to please you, and instead or perhaps more of, describe WHO she is as a person and her qualities as a human being, it would probably represent her better.
I think when two people love eachother, they work to please eachothe ...[text shortened]... When you describe women like your mother or a maid, it's not very flattering, to you or her.
Originally posted by mlpriorViolence against women sadly happens everywhere. Are you people saying that there is not a culture of expediency in the west, that if you are having difficulties its easy to bail? and that this has not contributed to lets face it, one in two marriages ending in divorce, like its 50/50 if your marriage will last.
I don't think you even want to go into the violence against women that happens on a daily basis in India.
The fact that there is a low divorce rate in India is incidative of the way that women are treated in that country.
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Originally posted by PalynkaYes i understand that, but you are saying that its the result of what you term, emancipation, i am saying that its the result of a culture of expediency which fosters a lack of commitment, 50/50 if your marriage lasts, if not, you can easily bail! Indeed i can test my hypothesis on the fact that among Indian couples I know, who are living in the west, i know not one of them who has sought a divorce, coincidence, i think not.
It's not my "terms", these are statistical facts. Divorce rates correlate with gender equality and marital equality. The places where women have the least rights have very low divorce rates.
I also don't see what's so noble about commitment for life no matter what. It shouldn't be about holding on to a marriage through gritted teeth.
Originally posted by robbie carrobieI'm saying there is DATA that links divorce rates to gender equality. As for a culture of expediency, I don't see what's wrong with bailing out of a non-functional relationship.
Yes i understand that, but you are saying that its the result of what you term, emancipation, i am saying that its the result of a culture of expediency which fosters a lack of commitment, 50/50 if your marriage lasts, if not, you can easily bail!
Do you deny there is stigma regarding divorced Indian women? And that now that the stigma is fading divorce rates are increasing?
Originally posted by robbie carrobieI think you are trying to say two different things here:
Violence against women sadly happens everywhere. Are you people saying that there is not a culture of expediency in the west, that if you are having difficulties its easy to bail? and that this has not contributed to lets face it, one in two marriages ending in divorce, like its 50/50 if your marriage will last.
1) The western culture is a culture of expediency. By "western" I can assume you mean the United States and are not including Canada, Mexico, Central American and South America, that are also in the Western Hemisphere.
2) A culture of expediency promotes divorce. I would say that our culture (the United States) may be faster moving than the culture of India in general, although that varies from one region to another. That does not mean that we value our family or marriage any less than Indian culture, as you are insinuating.
You are making the generalization that because women here are free to divorce without any social stigma or violent backlash, that we do so whimsically and without any though of upholding the family unit. That is completely untrue.
Originally posted by mlpriorI'd just like to add that valuing family and marriage are two different things.
I think you are trying to say two different things here:
1) The western culture is a culture of expediency. By "western" I can assume you mean the United States and are not including Canada, Mexico, Central American and South America, that are also in the Western Hemisphere.
2) A culture of expediency promotes divorce. I would say that our culture ...[text shortened]... o whimsically and without any though of upholding the family unit. That is completely untrue.
robbie, I have no trouble believing you love your wife and she loves you and that's why you're together. But the example of India is a bad one and that's what I am arguing against. Although I do agree part of it may be due to a culture of expediency, a larger part of it is likely to be stigma and emancipation.
Originally posted by robbie carrobieSome of the western girls i have seen coming out of the pub on a saturday night ,belly dancing wouldn't be a pretty site . There would be kebabs and pizza flying at a dangerous speed through the air !!! Take your eye out man !!😉
Actually i think girls in the west should be sent east for training in the art of looking after a husband. They could learn all sorts of good things, how to belly dance I think should be the first priority 😛
Originally posted by mlpriorwhether you think its untrue or otherwise, the figures speak for themselves, 50/50! As i have pointed out, you cannot make the claim simply on the basis that there is no stigmatisation to a divorce, for even among Indian couple that i know, who are free to divorce in the west, i cannot think of one divorce leading me, however unpleasant, to the conclusion, that it is culturally significant!
I think you are trying to say two different things here:
1) The western culture is a culture of expediency. By "western" I can assume you mean the United States and are not including Canada, Mexico, Central American and South America, that are also in the Western Hemisphere.
2) A culture of expediency promotes divorce. I would say that our culture ...[text shortened]... o whimsically and without any though of upholding the family unit. That is completely untrue.
Originally posted by PalynkaYes, I agree, its a multifaceted problem with many factors. Even among Indians, in India, there is significant difference between those in the villages and those in the cities.
I'd just like to add that valuing family and marriage are two different things.
robbie, I have no trouble believing you love your wife and she loves you and that's why you're together. But the example of India is a bad one and that's what I am arguing against. Although I do agree part of it may be due to a culture of expediency, a larger part of it is likely to be stigma and emancipation.