funny sayings

You not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Your not the brightest crayon in the box.
momma knows best

You can't please all the people all the time, but if you start shooting, you're gonna increase the chances.

In Dutch there's a saying: "Het slaat als een tang op een varken."
This translates as: "It sounds like a pair of plyers hitting a pig."

You couldn't find your @$$ with both hands and a flashlight.

"Well, I'll be!" He/she will be what!? My grandmother used to say this but I was only 6 yrs old and wondered what the heck she was going to be?
😲

He's as sharp as a bowling ball.

As sharp as five pounds of wet leather.

Not the brightest Smartie in the box (Not sure if everyone knows what a Smartie is, but it is similar to an M&M)

And

"Well I'll be a monkeys uncle!" - bit of a odd one that, unless your siblings are into "shavixmir-type" things...

Up shit creek without a paddle in a barb-wire canoe

Originally posted by ark13
"... on them like white on rice"

French: "Il y a du monde au balcone"

(There's a lot of people on the balcony.)

= She is bountifully embosomed.

You're as dumb as a wooden chicken.

(Chinese saying)

He's never set the Thames on fire.

He couldn't organise a sh*g in a brothel.

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while...

oops repeat. sorry... must have been blind.

Michael Jackson is a prime example of fixing it 'till it's broke...

Originally posted by ChessNut
Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while...

oops repeat. sorry... must have been blind.

Originally posted by belgianfreak
It's probably something really obvious, but can someone please explain thi s one - I've heard it many times & it baffles me.