"Great 21st Century Novel"

Just bringing this back to life for those who might have recently joined. There's some fun reads in this thread.

Enjoy, or not.

1. It was a moonless night on the Swiss plains when Doyle first noticed that he had forgotten to renew his passport. Would he be able to get past the border guards at the Romanian crossing with his expired passport? As he approached the barrier he pulled out the last of his remaining Juicyfruit gum sticks thinking this might just be the ticket. Little did he know that..........

Ken was beside himself with angst. How could he kill Ben, his lover, but if he didn't he would be a target of the Association and killed himself. He sulked with the thought of how to get out of the game and kill Sheila and Fritz. Fritz was his mentor and old lover but he must be true to his new feelings and his gut twisted as he sat down for a bottle of Opal Merlot 1997 and a Dunhill ashtray already filled. His mind drifted from his exhaustion and the wine when he his plan started to foment. He called on all his skill as an assassin and a trained agent of the crown before he left a coded message for Monet his Russian handler to contact him with urgency.

3. (be sure to number the threads) The code was an encrypted cypher based on an irrational number. Only those who knew 19/7, counting to the date of the message could begin to decode it. Little did they realize the power of Fritz, however.

4. Fritz is a secretive and reclusive corpulently obese bed ridden midget weighing nearly 800 pounds who relying on Ken Jennings makes him appear as a genius. His hallucinations were frequent and debilitating. He believed his personal nurse Ben was drugging and posioning his daily 24 meals. He had to figure out how and why as he thought Ben wanted his secret encrypted decoder ring cypher on how to diet properly on just bire cheese and his equally evil algorthim on how to cheat at chess. Fritz dispatched Rocco & Moose to take out Sheila, Ben's lover, with extreme predjudice. R&M were consumate Italian assassins whose favorite restuarant served broken leg of lamb.

5. Rocco and Moose announced their arrival to the lobby security attendant. He called up to Sheila and spoke in the secret building code for an alert that something was suspicious, saying, "Sheila, we have two gentlemen here to see you. Shall I send them up or might you care to speak with them?" Sheila clicked on the monitor to see two strangers in long overcoats standing in the atrium. "Send them right on up, thanks." She made her way to the back service elevator and headed for the basement and hoped that she would be able to get clear of the building in time.

Originally posted by coquette
5. Rocco and Moose announced their arrival to the lobby security attendant. He called up to Sheila and spoke in the secret building code for an alert that something was suspicious, saying, "Sheila, we have two gentlemen here to see you. Shall I send them up or might you care to speak with them?" Sheila clicked on the monitor to see two strangers in long ove ...[text shortened]... aded for the basement and hoped that she would be able to get clear of the building in time.

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
6. Unfortunately for her Rocco and Moose (you can call me Bullwinkle), really were consumate professionals, and as such had gotten hold of the architectual drawings of the building (by means better not spoken of) and had split up enabling them to cover both of her escape routes. As the door opened Sheila saw that she was "in a pickle" and drew her 9m ...[text shortened]... jacket he stumbled backwards falling t the floor and enabling her to rush past the prone thug.

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
7. She raced to the basement where she had her car (A Toyota Prius) parked in Aptartment 1208s' space, just in case someone made an attempt on her car (she really was a pro). She did a quick search of the car before entering to make sure there were no "surprises". None found she started it up and quickly exited the building heading north on Bella Vista Drive towards her destination...........

9. Once in the suite, and having properly greeted Ben (note the Mods deletion of the prior to postings), she whispered softly in his ear that she had been followed. "What should we do now," asked Ben?

10. I think we're safe, for a little while. But we should set up a diversion and leave in disguise, Sheila answered, furtively looking around Ben's condo for signs of half nibbled dark chocolate squares.

11. She suggested that Ben sneak in to the apartment next door and steal some clothes, so he jumped across the 34th floor balconies, only an 8 foot jump, though, so that he could get in through their open sliding door. Little did the elderly couple next door expect to be robbed of clothes by a neighbor. What's this world coming to?

12. While Ben was off to get some clothes to wear as a disguise, not really thinking that "clothes are clothes," and that switching from tweed to plaid, or navy blazer to mauve sweater, was really that different, Sheila was executing her real intention and heading in to his refrigerator to look for a bar of 85% Cocao Lindt. Alas, there it was, his last bar!