Originally posted by phil nutley*eats 5 cents*
Dear mouse man
My cat keeps eating my mouse and leaving his tail and gall bladder on the floor.
What can I do?
Noddy, I think the answer will be obvious to most readers here. Simply remove the tail and gall bladder from your mouse ahead of time to prevent an unsightly mess. As a bonus for you, they organs and offal make up part of a disgusting but nutritious stew. Yum!
That will be another 5 cents.
NEXT!
Dear PB
Um... here's 10 five cent pieces and a waffle... this is going to be a tough one.
My mouse recently fell in love with some bitch it met on the internet, but it turned out that the bitch was actually a lot dumber than she pretended to be and it was actually her brother who was posting replies to his messages. So, later that day, the mouse fell in love with the brother but the sister became jealous and she's threatening to go to court to get a law suit to have their mom's life support switched off and the brother really really loves his mom, but he's fallen in love with the mouse. My mouse is a genius but it doesn't know how to get out of this one, particularly after the emotional trauma of his last divorce and his son's getting out of prison tomorrow, how will he explain to his son that he's going to have a new extra daddy but that the new extra daddy won't be happy because of the evil online bitch who killed his and her mom?
Hurry up I don't have all day and waffles don't come cheap around here.
Originally posted by hopscotch😲
Dear PB
Um... here's 10 five cent pieces and a waffle... this is going to be a tough one.
My mouse recently fell in love with some bitch it met on the internet, but it turned out that the bitch was actually a lot dumber than she pretended to be and it was actually her brother who was posting replies to his messages. So, later that day, the mo ...[text shortened]... ed his and her mom?
Hurry up I don't have all day and waffles don't come cheap around here.
Umm, that's a toughie. We're dealing with a virtual "mobile" of interconnected relationships, coupled with deep-seated angst, guilt, anger, lust, dynamic morality, deception, love, habitual line-stepping, animal issues, vegetable issues, back issues, cover stories, impassioned pleas, fleas, me's, you's, he's, she's, we's, be's, and confusion.
I don't often say this, and it's actually taboo in the medical community, but I think we're going to have to scrap this one. Everyone involved is going to have to commit suicide and start again. There's just no way to seperate the love, animal issues, vegetable issues, back issues, impassioned pleas, me's, you's, and be's from the deep-seated angst, guilt, anger, lust, dynamic morality, deception, habitual line-stepping, cover stories, he's, she's, we's and confusion without irreparable brain damage.
Here are some "sleepy pills" for eveyone. Here's one for your mouse, one for the sister, one for the brother, one for the mother, one for you and one for me. OK, ready? 1..2..3..<gulp>.
That will be another 5 cen...
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😞