Here's your badge!

Everywhere I go I seem to see or bump into people too stupid to tie their own shoe laces.

Seriously. The amount of idiots on this planet is unbelievable. So, I wish to hand out badges to all the idiots. A sort of reward for being stupid.
Feel free to list any idiotic people and their deeds here and I will feel free to hand them a badge, if I find they deserve it!

Today on CNN:
In Florida a shopkeeper has painted the following text on his boarded up shop window: Ivan go home, we're not leaving!
How unbelievable is this? A 5 hurricane (or whatever...) is ripping up everything in its path. Not only does this shopkeeper not want to get out the way...he's trying to communicate with the storm!?!

Here's your badge!


In the McDonald's a while ago:
There's a special triple cheeseburger offer.
Me: Can I have a triple cheeseburger menu please. Plain.
Mac: Do you want cheese on that?
Me: If I didn't, I would have asked for a triple hamburger plain, wouldn't I?
Mac: We don't sell them.
Me: So why are you offering it to me then?

Here's your badge!


I got caught cycling without lights on my bike (okay...that might be worth a badge on its own...but don't get all picky on me here) by two policemen.

PM 1: Sir you are cycling without lights on.
Me: Well? So what?
PM 1: That's against the law. (rough translation from Dutch by the way)
Me: Why on earth should I have lights on my bike?
PM 1: Otherwise people will not be able to see you.
Me: You saw me.
PM 2: Are you taking the piss?

Here's your badge!

Yes, feel free to let me judge the idiots you bump into!

That Florida shopkeeper posted that for the recs.

Your whole posting sounds so very much like Jeff Foxworthy and his "Stupid" T-shirt bit. Even down to the "Here's your T-shirt" closing remark. You may enjoy listening to it.

-Ray.

Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!

Shavi: Everywhere I go I seem to see or bump into people too stupid to tie their own shoe laces.

I use velcro.

Only one of the greatest lines from a movie!!!!!

here's one (also featuring the cops)...

i came home to find two policemen standing outside the door of the neighbouring apartment.

pm1: do you know if the resident is home?
me: have you knocked?
pm1: yes
me: was there any answer?
pm1: no
me: she may not be home then (i wanted to say "maybe she has been murdered" but thought they wouldn't get the joke, and if she HAD been murdered, it wouldn't look good for me)
pm2: we just wanted to return this video...<holds up video cassette>
<police stand around looking indecisive>
me: why don't you leave her a note to say you dropped by? then she can call you and arrange a time for you to drop off the video...
pm1: good idea <writes note> do you have any tape so i can stick it to the door?
me: sorry, no.
<police stand around looking indecisive>
me: why don't you just slip it under the door?
pm1: <looks doubtfully at video cassette, then at crack under door> i don't think it will fit...
me: i meant the note, officer...

this really happened...

You're a McDonalds frequenter, that temple of American quisine ? ...... yucky .... what badge do you get for that ?

Originally posted by dfm65
here's one (also featuring the cops)...

i came home to find two policemen standing outside the door of the neighbouring apartment.

pm1: do you know if the resident is home?
me: have you knocked?
pm1: yes
me: was there any answer?
pm1: no
me: she may not be home then (i wanted to say "maybe she has been murdered" but thought they wouldn't get th ...[text shortened]... door> i don't think it will fit...
me: i meant the note, officer...

this really happened...

There's a comedian, Bill Engvall I think, who does this exact concept...with the punch line being "Here's your sign"

very funny

Originally posted by ivanhoe

You're a McDonalds frequenter, that temple of American quisine ? ...... yucky .... what badge do you get for that ?

I was standing outside the library at University one evening with some friends and we were chatting. A campus cop pulled up in one of those little golf cart sort of thingys. He rushed over to us and said "Did you just hear a report?!" We all looked at each other and then back at him. We had no earthly idea what he was on about. Then he (Barney Fife) jumped back in his little golf cart and tore off at breakneck speed of at least 3-5 mph.

Originally posted by elvendreamgirl
A Fat badge!😀

Originally posted by dfm65
here's one (also featuring the cops)...

i came home to find two policemen standing outside the door of the neighbouring apartment.

pm1: do you know if the resident is home?
me: have you knocked?
pm1: yes
me: was there any answer?
pm1: no
me: she may not be home then (i wanted to say "maybe she has been murdered" but thought they wouldn't get th ...[text shortened]... door> i don't think it will fit...
me: i meant the note, officer...

this really happened...

Today on CNN:
In Florida a shopkeeper has painted the following text on his boarded up shop window: Ivan go home, we're not leaving!
How unbelievable is this? A 5 hurricane (or whatever...) is ripping up everything in its path. Not only does this shopkeeper not want to get out the way...he's trying to communicate with the storm!?!

Originally posted by ivangrice
Am I strange in admiring the spirit of the shopkeeper? Kind of analagous to the 'Blitz Spirit' in London in 1940? The irrepressible side of human nature? Perhaps I am strange...