Originally posted by shavixmirI am an equal opportunities offender, so here is a scottish joke.
That's Italicist.
An old scotsman lies dying in bed. Suddenly he encounters a smell which he has not smelled for years - his favourite biscuits.
Using the last of his strength, he drags himself out of bed and hobbles down the stairs.
Upon arriving in the kitchen he finds the most huge pile of biscuits freshly baked. Thinking his wife must have baked them as a final gesture of goodwil before he died he lurches forward, half falling under his own weight, and reaches out to take one when suddenly....
A wooden spoon raps him hard accross the knuckles and his wifes voice, quite irritatedly, shouts. "Get your hands off those - they are for the funeral!"
Originally posted by TyrannosauruschexGood grief.
I am an equal opportunities offender, so here is a scottish joke.
An old scotsman lies dying in bed. Suddenly he encounters a smell which he has not smelled for years - his favourite biscuits.
Using the last of his strength, he drags himself out of bed and hobbles down the stairs.
Upon arriving in the kitchen he finds the most huge pile of bi ...[text shortened]... wifes voice, quite irritatedly, shouts. "Get your hands off those - they are for the funeral!"
An Imam, a guru and an American are walking along a path in the rain. And it starts raining faster and harder and harder and faster. So they decide to ask for shelter at a farmer's house.
"Obviously." said the farmer, adding: "But my spare bedroom only holds two, so one of you must sleep in the barn."
"Worry not, my faithful companions," Said the guru, "I have led a difficult life and I have no problem sleeping in the hay." And off to the barn he went. The others went to bed.
After 10 minutes, however, there was a knock at the door. The guru had returned: "I'm awfully sorry, but the barn has a cow in it. My faith prohibits me from sharing sleeping quarters with the holiest of animals."
The American roled his eyes.
"Worry not my friends," said the imam, affixing, "I've suffered a troubled life, I have no problem, what-so-ever, sleeping in the shed." And off to the barn he went. The others went to bed.
After 10 minutes, however, there was a knoack at the door.The Imam had returned: "I'm dreadfully sorry, but the barn has a sow in it. My faith prohibits me from sharing sleeping quarters with the dirtiest of animals."
The American roled his eyes.
"Oh well..." Said the America, muttering, "I guess I'll have to go the barn then." The others went to bed.
After ten minutes, however, there was a knock at the door. The pig and the cow stood in the doorway: "We don't want to share the barn with a bloody American!"