How to get kids to sleep at sleep overs...

Originally posted by Very Rusty
[b]What colors?

You "fly" the Canadian flag right? Yet you spell like an American. What gives there?

Originally posted by Starrman
I sincerely doubt that the root of the problems of any of your foster kids could be summed to a smacked bum.

That is where it started, with a spanking. Eventually the spanking does not work! The hitting becomes more abusive. I have seen many cases of it. A smack on the bum is where it starts, but it doesn't stop there. If it did it wouldn't be an issue in the world.

If I happen to see you out in public and I smack you on the bum what is that called.
No not making a pass at you. It is called assault. Why should it be different for a child? Hitting promotes violence nothing more. Eventually the child will hit back, that is usually the childs biggest mistake!

Do you have children, and if so: Do you hit them?
Were you spanked as a child?

Originally posted by Very Rusty
That is where it started, with a spanking. Eventually the spanking does not work! The hitting becomes more abusive. I have seen many cases of it. A smack on the bum is where it starts, but it doesn't stop there. If it did it wouldn't be an issue in the world.

If I happen to see you out in public and I smack you on the bum what is that called.
No not m ...[text shortened]... mistake!

Do you have children, and if so: Do you hit them?
Were you spanked as a child?

Give me a break. Do you not know the diffence between a "smack" on the bum and an abusive hit? They are quite different.

Originally posted by Very Rusty
That is where it started, with a spanking. Eventually the spanking does not work! The hitting becomes more abusive. I have seen many cases of it. A smack on the bum is where it starts, but it doesn't stop there. If it did it wouldn't be an issue in the world.

If I happen to see you out in public and I smack you on the bum what is that called.
No not m ...[text shortened]... mistake!

Do you have children, and if so: Do you hit them?
Were you spanked as a child?

Of course that's a part of where it started, but it would be overly generalistic and simplistic to suggest that's the point of origin.

Yes I have a son, no I don't spank him (as you would know if you paid attention to the threads on this issue). Yes I was spanked as a child and no, it didn't turn me into a violent or abuse-damaged person.

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
Give me a break. Do you not know the diffence between a "smack" on the bum and an abusive hit? They are quite different.

What do you do when the smack on the bum doesn't work?

I know the difference, I have seen what it leads too.

How many kids have your raised?

Originally posted by Very Rusty
What do you do when the smack on the bum doesn't work?

I know the difference, I have seen what it leads too.

How many kids have your raised?

8 and you?

Originally posted by Starrman
Of course that's a part of where it started, but it would be overly generalistic and simplistic to suggest that's the point of origin.

Yes I have a son, no I don't spank him (as you would know if you paid attention to the threads on this issue). Yes I was spanked as a child and no, it didn't turn me into a violent or abuse-damaged person.

That is your opinion that you are not a damaged person. Only you know that for sure.

I am happy to see you were one of the lucky ones. I do wonder if you were actually spanked, or just staying on side.

Hitting is ABUSE...no matter how you want to cut it....THERE IS NEVER A GOOD REASON FOR SMACKING YOUR CHILD.

Not you Parents fault they only did what was done to them as kids.
I am happy to hear you don't spank your boy!! 🙂

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
8 and you?

What do you do when the smack on the bum doesn't work?

Many more than 8, and you haven't answered the question.

Crowley said he would laugh...At least that was an answer if not a very good one.

THE POINT IS: What do you do when the smack on the bottom doesn't work?

Originally posted by Very Rusty
That is your opinion that you are not a damaged person. Only you know that for sure.

I am happy to see you were one of the lucky ones. I do wonder if you were actually spanked, or just staying on side.

Hitting is ABUSE...no matter how you want to cut it....THERE IS NEVER A GOOD REASON FOR SMACKING YOUR CHILD.

Not you Parents fault they only did what was done to them as kids.
I am happy to hear you don't spank your boy!! 🙂

You're unbelievable.

I tell you something about my circumstances which undermines the validity of your opinion and you question it's truth based on the fact that you would have to change your set of beliefs to encompass it. Tell me, how could we ever possibly hold a discussion if this is the case? A large percentage of kids who are spanked do not suffer any lasting issues, you are simplifying the issue.

Now try and remember this, I am against spanking (which I've already mentioned about 20 times on this subject) so please don't preach to me. I don't think it is necessarily abuse.

Originally posted by Starrman
You're unbelievable.

I tell you something about my circumstances which undermines the validity of your opinion and you question it's truth based on the fact that you would have to change your set of beliefs to encompass it. Tell me, how could we ever possibly hold a discussion if this is the case? A large percentage of kids who are spanked do not suffe this subject) so please don't preach to me. I don't think it is necessarily abuse.

I also know what I have been told by the shrinks.

An abused person will protect their abuser right into adulthood. You are telling me that it did you no damage, yet you don't see it as a good method for correcting your own Son?

I am not preaching to you on the subject I am discussing with you my experiences and what I have seen. You do seem extremely passionate about a " a large precentage of kids who are spanked not suffering any lasting issues". Where are you getting these statistics from? Or do you want to believe so much that is the reality of it?

Originally posted by Very Rusty
I also know what I have been told by the shrinks.

An abused person will protect their abuser right into adulthood. You are telling me that it did you no damage, yet you don't see it as a good method for correcting your own Son?

I am not preaching to you on the subject I am discussing with you my experiences and what I have seen. You do seem extremel ...[text shortened]... e you getting these statistics from? Or do want to believe so much that is the reality of it?

Surely your shrink should spend more time helping you than discussing the ins and outs of spanking...

Don't pretend to know me better than I do, my mother and I have a very healthy relationship, this has nothing to do with protecting my abuser.

I don't see it as a good method of correction for 2 reasons: Firstly, I don't believe in physical violence under any circumstances, other than self-defence or extreme crisis aversion (eg incapacitating someone who was about to kill themselves). And secondly because, as a form of discipline I think it is less effective than prolonged discussion and the encouragement of self-responsibility and awareness through reasoning.

Almost everyone I know was spanked by their parents and possibly 10% of those would say it affected them and maybe only 1% would consider they were abused.

Originally posted by Very Rusty
What do you do when the smack on the bum doesn't work?

Many more than 8, and you haven't answered the question.

Crowley said he would laugh...At least that was an answer if not a very good one.

THE POINT IS: What do you do when the smack on the bottom doesn't work?

The smack on the bum is a LAST resort. You first try to reason with them giving them the chance to "settle down". Sometimes reasoning just doesn't work where a smack on the bum does. It's amazing how they learn. Sometimes reasoning works sometimes it doesn't. More often than not it does, but..........

Originally posted by Starrman
Surely your shrink should spend more time helping you than discussing the ins and outs of spanking...

Don't pretend to know me better than I do, my mother and I have a very healthy relationship, this has nothing to do with protecting my abuser.

I don't see it as a good method of correction for 2 reasons: Firstly, I don't believe in physical violence ...[text shortened]... ly 10% of those would say it affected them and maybe only 1% would consider they were abused.

All of them were abused as far as I am concerned, and you will not change my mind on that. I have probably spent more time with shrinks than you ever did, which is probably why I know more about the Topic than you do.

I am happy you have a good relationship with your mother. Like I said before, you just may be one of the lucky ones, if you were actually spanked. My best guess is you didn't like it too much, or think it was a good idea, or you would be using the abusive spanking method on your son.

I think you have a good handle on why spanking is not good thing. Discussing does work. Like I have said so many times and no one has the answer.

What do you do when the spanking don't work??? Or the child starts hitting back? Hit harder? That certainly isn't the answer. We actually agree that spanking is NOT a GOOD WAY TO GO!!! 😉

Originally posted by Very Rusty
I have probably spent more time with shrinks than you ever did.

Of this there can be no doubt.

Your definition of abuse needs some work, we're done here, I haven't the energy to ride on your crazy train any more.

Originally posted by Starrman
Of this there can be no doubt.

Your definition of abuse needs some work, we're done here, I haven't the energy to ride on your crazy train any more.

Good Boy, always stay on side, even if you know better! 😛