I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.
[background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
a while, then out]
http://www.anysonglyrics.com/lyrics/k/kingmissile/detatchablepenis.htm
Originally posted by 7ate9What if I'm happy with the one I have and just want to add an extra one? How feasible is this?
A 44-year old man in China had an industrial accident which left him with a penis which was only approx 1 inch long. Not only would it be hard to please a lady with a 1 inch stump, but he was also having urinary problems and i suspect a high laundry bill.
Around the same time another man who was 22 years old had an industrial accident which killed him. Hav ...[text shortened]... s penis just because you are dissatisfied with the one God gave you.
What are you thinking?
Originally posted by 7ate9As they pulled you out of the oxygen tent
A 44-year old man in China had an industrial accident which left him with a penis which was only approx 1 inch long. Not only would it be hard to please a lady with a 1 inch stump, but he was also having urinary problems and i suspect a high laundry bill.?
You asked for the latest party
With your silicone hump and your ten inch stump
Dressed like a priest you was
Tod brownings freak you was
Crawling down the alley on your hands and knee
Im sure youre not protected, for its plain to see
The diamond dogs are poachers and they hide behind trees
Hunt you to the ground they will, mannequins with kill appeal
(will they come? )
Ill keep a friend serene
(will they come? )
Oh baby, come unto me
(will they come? )
Well, shes come, been and gone.
Come out of the garden, baby
Youll catch your death in the fog
Young girl, they call them the diamond dogs
Young girl, they call them the diamond dogs
Originally posted by 7ate9Why didn't they just graft a lizard to the first man?
A 44-year old man in China had an industrial accident which left him with a penis which was only approx 1 inch long. Not only would it be hard to please a lady with a 1 inch stump, but he was also having urinary problems and i suspect a high laundry bill.
Around the same time another man who was 22 years old had an industrial accident which killed him. Hav ...[text shortened]... s penis just because you are dissatisfied with the one God gave you.
What are you thinking?
Originally posted by 7ate9I think you're full of it.
A 44-year old man in China had an industrial accident which left him with a penis which was only approx 1 inch long. Not only would it be hard to please a lady with a 1 inch stump, but he was also having urinary problems and i suspect a high laundry bill.
Around the same time another man who was 22 years old had an industrial accident which killed him. Hav ...[text shortened]... s penis just because you are dissatisfied with the one God gave you.
What are you thinking?
