Jokes and the Culture of Laugh

What is Helen Keller's favourite colour?

Corduroy!

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the sea?

Bob

Originally posted by Starrman
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the sea?

Bob

Originally posted by Phlabibit
What do you call the same guy on your door step?

Matt!

what do you call a blind deer?... no idea

what do you call a blind deer with no legs?...still no idea

what do you call a blind deer with no legs in a box?...still no idea now shut up!

fred

Same man undergoing prosthetic additions?

Tony

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that lives under a car?

Jack!

No legs, no arms, lives in a bog?

Pete

The mummy of a pharaoh was discovered in Egypt, and not even the best experts could determine its age. Finally someone thought to turn the matter over to the KGB. The KGB men spent five minutes with the mummy and then reported: It's 5,463 years old." "How can you be so sure?" "He confessed."

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs with a contract out on him?

Mark

Q: why do Marxists only drink herbal tea?

A: because proper tea is theft!

The Bank wishes to inform all its clients that we are installing new "Drive-thru" ATM machines, where you will be able to withdraw money without leaving your vehicle. Please follow the instructions that apply to you:


For our MALE customers:
1. Drive up to the ATM machine
2. Open your car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Close window
7. Drive off

For our FEMALE customers:

1. Drive up to ATM machine
2. Reverse the required amount to align car window with machine
3. Restart stalled engine
4. Open the car window
5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card .
6.Turn the radio down
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door to allow easier access to ATM machine, due to its excessive distance from car
9. Insert card
10. After "Invalid card" is displayed, remove the Edgars credit card and insert correct ATM card
11. Remove ATM card
12. Re-insert card right way up
13. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
14. Enter PIN
15. Press "cancel" and re-enter correct PIN
16. Enter amount of cash required
17. Check make-up in rearview mirror
18. Retrieve card
19. Empty handbag again to locate card holder and place card inside
20. Place receipt in back of cheque book
21. Re-check make-up
22. Drive forward 2 metres
23. Reverse back to ATM machine
24. Retrieve cash
25. Re-empty handbag, locate purse and place cash inside
26. Restart stalled engine and pull off
27. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres
28. Release handbrake

What do you call a woman with no arms, no legs, has been burnt to a crisp, is on a diet and has furballs?

Charlene Spiteri

A woman goes to see a pediatrician with a baby for the baby's check up . The doctor examines the baby and declares , "This baby is underweight ! Has he been breast fed or bottle fed ?"
"Breast fed", she replies.
The doctor tells her to remove her shirt . He grasps her breasts , kneeds them , fondles them , and prods them . He says , " Did you know you're not producing any milk at all ?"
"Yes , I know . That's because I'm the baby's older sister . But I'm glad you checked ."

Chicken and egg are lying in...

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg is frowning and looking very frustrated.
The egg mutters, to no one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!"