After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."
"Thank god!" his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
three men had been in the war of vietnam.they were americans. and then the boss said to them he would pay them by how far away 2 body parts were.(eg;from head to toes). the first guy said from his head to his toes. so the boss paid him by that. the second guy was a bit smarter he stretched his arms up and and said. from the tips of my fingers to my toes. the next guy said from my penis to my balls (testicles). the boss examined how far apart they were but when he looked he couldnt see his testicles. he asked where they were. the guy said " in Vietnam "
This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give the scotch to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off of the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.
One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.
The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom
was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.
After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over
and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk
broom!"
"IMPOSSIBLE !" said the groom broom.
Are you ready for this?
Brace yourself; this is going to hurt! !! !! !
"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"
............ ............ ..............
Oh for goodness sake... Laugh, or at least groan.
Life's too short not to enjoy... Even these silly
....little cute............. And clean jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sounds to me like she's ...... !
......been ....sweeping around!!!