General Forum

General Forum

  1. SubscriberSuzianne
    Misfit Queen
    Isle of Misfit Toys
    Joined
    08 Aug '03
    Moves
    36376
    02 Mar '14 21:24
    Here's one of my favorites.

    A man walked into a lawyer's office and said, "What are your rates?"
    "50 dollars for three questions."
    "Isn't that rather steep?"
    "Yes," said the lawyer. "And what was your third question?"
  2. Joined
    12 Dec '13
    Moves
    28350
    03 Mar '14 00:26
    A man goes into the doctor complaining of stress headaches. He can't sleep, can't work, it's terrible.

    The doctor tells him, "When I have stress headaches I take a day off and spend the whole day in bed with my wife. Works every time."

    The next time the man is in for a visit the doctor asks him, "Hey did you cure your headaches?"

    The man says, "Absolutely, your advice worked great. And Doc, you have a real nice house."
  3. Joined
    14 Mar '04
    Moves
    122616
    04 Mar '14 14:46
    A business man got on an elevator.
    When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T.G.I.F"
    He smiled at her and replied, "S.H.I.T"
    She looked puzzled and repeated,
    "T-G-I-F," more slowly.
    He again answered,
    "S-H-I-T."
    The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly,
    "T-G-I-F."
    The man smiled back to her and once again,
    "S-H-I-T."
    The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.
    'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank God, It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?"
    The man answered,
    "S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday'-- duuhhh.
  4. Standard memberRemoved
    Account suspended
    Joined
    26 Feb '14
    Moves
    1339
    16 Mar '14 11:341 edit
    apparently all the toilets in the new Scotland yard police HQ have been stolen a police spokesperson said they were mystified and so far had nothing to go on.
  5. Joined
    27 Dec '05
    Moves
    143878
    16 Mar '14 18:25
    Oscar Pistourius was about to do some D.I.Y on his bathroom door ,he couldn't because his wife was dead against it . 😲
  6. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    579964
    31 Mar '14 11:37
    Says the barkeep we don't serve faster than light particles.
    Comes a tachyon into a bar.
  7. Standard memberRemoved
    Account suspended
    Joined
    26 Feb '14
    Moves
    1339
    31 Mar '14 13:30
    Originally posted by Ponderable
    Says the barkeep we don't serve faster than light particles.
    Comes a tachyon into a bar.
    Not far from my home is a Potash mine and over the years I have laid many floors in the offices but only found out a few months ago that deep beneath the north sea british researchers have a laboratory (BEEN DOWN THERE 20 YEARS) trying to capture tachyons and other particles that pass straight through the earth but so far nothing has been captured or registered.
  8. Subscribersonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    slatington, pa, usa
    Joined
    28 Dec '04
    Moves
    53114
    02 Apr '14 11:29
    Did you hear about the all you can eat buffet manager who had a heart attack? Seems he saw 40 members of the Samoan Sumo Wrestling league come in for lunch....
  9. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    579964
    05 Apr '14 09:29
    Two scientists came into a bar, the first asked for H2O, the second for H2O, too. The second died.
  10. Standard memberRemoved
    Account suspended
    Joined
    26 Feb '14
    Moves
    1339
    05 Apr '14 11:23
    Originally posted by Ponderable
    Two scientists came into a bar, the first asked for H2O, the second for H2O, too. The second died.
    What dose DNA stand for ? National Dyslexia Assosiation
  11. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    579964
    12 Apr '14 17:39
    A rabbi, apriest and a pastor come into a bar.

    Says the barkeep: Is this a joke or what?
  12. Subscribersonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    slatington, pa, usa
    Joined
    28 Dec '04
    Moves
    53114
    12 Apr '14 18:37
    Originally posted by Ponderable
    Two scientists came into a bar, the first asked for H2O, the second for H2O, too. The second died.
    Two guys walk in to a bar. The third guy ducked.
  13. Standard memberwolfgang59
    Quiz Master
    RHP Arms
    Joined
    09 Jun '07
    Moves
    48791
    13 Apr '14 23:37
    man walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre



    so the barmaid gives him one
  14. Joined
    01 Apr '09
    Moves
    26584
    14 Apr '14 14:44
    What did the hat say to the hat rack?
    "You stay here, I'll go on ahead."
  15. Joined
    31 Aug '06
    Moves
    40565
    15 Apr '14 10:40
    A bunch of YECs found a book on magic.
    They chanted and asked for creation to be as described in genesis.
    Brought a whole new meaning to the word sunburnt.
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