Jokes

Originally posted by phil3000
"Doctor,doctor I can't feel my legs .." I know " said the Doctor " I've cut your arms off "....
I got a wooden leg for Christmas ,it wasn't my main present it was just a stocking filler ..

mr butcher can I buy a pigs head but can you leave the eyes in to see us through the week

Originally posted by redbarons
mr butcher can I buy a pigs head but can you leave the eyes in to see us through the weekw

"Doctor,Doctor , I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains .
Dr , "pull your self together ".
"Doctor , I keep thinking I'm invisible"
Dr, "Who said that ?".
"Doctor ,I need something for wind " he gave me a kite !
"Doctor ,I'm hurting all over my body "
Dr ,"really can you point to me where "
Patient touches head, shoulders ,chest ,arms and knees.
Yes said the Doctor you've got a brocken finger .

Dyslexic Farmer singing in the bath .." Old Mcdonald had a farm I,o ,u,e,o and on that farm he had a Horse .. i.e .o.u ,I"....

Dear Algebra,
Please stop asking us to find your X. She is never coming back and don't ask Y.

Originally posted by lolof
Dear Algebra,
Please stop asking us to find your X. She is never coming back and don't ask Y.

But she never left. She's in disguise.

Originally posted by HandyAndy
But she never left. She's in disguise.

I suppose it was an old joke to you all but it was new to me. 🙂

Originally posted by lolof
I suppose it was an old joke to you all but it was new to me. 🙂

lolof, your sense of humour, funny stories and jokes are priceless.

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
lolof, your funny stories and jokes are priceless.

I'm usually very funny in Swedish, I don't manage so well in English, but thanks.

Originally posted by lolof
I'm usually very funny in Swedish, I don't manage so well in English, but thanks.

You've come a very long way in your confidence and comfort with the English Language in the past year. Bravo!

Two deer hunters are out in the forest when one of them collapses to the ground. He doesn't appear to be breathing and his eyes are glossy. His hunting partner whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency hot line. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a short moment of silence, then a gun shot is heard. Running back to the phone out of breath, the guy says "OK, now what?

Originally posted by lolof
Dear Algebra,
Please stop asking us to find your X. She is never coming back and don't ask Y.

I am close to 25 letters of the alphabet.

Y


I do not know.

Originally posted by lolof
I'm usually very funny in Swedish, I don't manage so well in English, but thanks.

Everybody is funny in Swedish!

Actually I remember years ago having 2 Swedes home for
dinner (they were business associates of my wife). We all
got very drunk (a Swedish hobby) and the 2 guys laughed
for hours that we had a vegetable called a swede.

My wife got the contract she wanted.

Originally posted by wolfgang59
Everybody is funny in Swedish!

Both Svenska Pojkes and Svenska Flickas?

Originally posted by wolfgang59
Actually I remember years ago having 2 Swedes home for
dinner (they were business associates of my wife). We all
got very drunk (a Swedish hobby) and the 2 guys laughed
for hours that we had a vegetable called a swede.

My wife got the contract she wanted.

We are known for drinking a lot and being easily amused - how else would we survive up here? 🙂