Jokes

Do you know if you sneeze and fart at the same time your body takes a screenshot?

I lost my wife's audio book. Now I'll never hear the end of it.

What kind of fun does a monk have at Christmas?

Nun.

@fmf said
Do you know if you sneeze and fart at the same time your body takes a screenshot?

i bought a russian advent calendar
every time you open a window
an oligarch falls out

@rookie54 said
i bought a russian advent calendar
every time you open a window
an oligarch falls out

My obese parrot died this morning
I'm very sad but it was a huge weight of my shoulders.

Why did J S Bach have so many children ?


Reveal Hidden Content

I'm quitting my job at the erectile dysfunction clinic. I haven't got a raise in months.

When I told my interior designer that I didn't want carpeted steps, he gave me a blank stare.

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a well-dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.

Last night my wife put on a new dress and asked me to zip. I don't know what I'd done wrong. I hadn't said anything.

I was sacked from the laughing dolls production line.
I was supposed to give them test tickles.

Whats the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl?
One shoots and can't hit, the other hoots and can't ....