OK this is copied from the Blue Collar C.T.
A guy gets a call to go to the hospital because his mother has been sent there. Guy walks in and says, what's going on doc, is everything ok?! Doctor says, well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Guy says, ok bad news first, Doctor replies, well, she's gonna make it, but she's blind, deaf and dumb, so you'll have to take care of here. She also can't control her muscles so you have to feed her baby food three times a day and she can't control her bowel movements, so you'll have to clean up after her. Guy says, oh god that's horrible, what's the good news then?! Doctor replies, haha just kidding, she's dead.
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Originally posted by cmsMasterThat was from Family Guy too.
OK this is copied from the Blue Collar C.T.
A guy gets a call to go to the hospital because his mother has been sent there. Guy walks in and says, what's going on doc, is everything ok?! Doctor says, well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Guy says, ok bad news first, Doctor replies, well, she's gonna make it, but she's blind, deaf and dumb, ...[text shortened]... le, what's the good news then?! Doctor replies, haha just kidding, she's dead.
🙂
So this guy wants to sell his soul for power here on earth, has the pentangle, candles, cauldron, herbs, and calls up the evil forces, when a flash of light overpowers him and an evil force is looking at him,
Why did you invoke me?
Well I want to be the richest man on earth, the most powerful, the most envied...
So the evil force replies, we can do that for you but you must give us the souls of your wife and your three beautiful children.
He looks askance at the evil force and ponders for a while,
OK, WHATS THE CATCH?
A young Native American woman went to the doctor for her first ever medical examination.
After checking all of her vitals and running the usual tests, the doctor said: "Well, Running Doe, you're in fine health and I don't detect any problems. However, I did spot one strange abnormality..."
"What's that, doctor?"
"Well, it appears you don't have nipples."
"None of the people in my tribe have nipples," she replied.
"That's amazing!" said the doctor. "I would love to write this up for The American Journal of Medicine, if you don't mind."
"No, that's fine by me," she replied.
"First of all," asked the doctor, "how many people are in your tribe?"
She replied: "Approximately 500."
"And what is the name of your tribe?" he asked. To which Running Doe replied: "We're known as The Indian-Nippleless 500..."
A blonde arrived for her first lesson and the pro told her to have a swing to see how she'd go.She teed up the ball and had a crack but completely duffed it.
Your swing is good but you are gripping the club too hard, the pro informed her .Try gripping the club gently much like you would your husbands penis.
The blonde did as she was told and nailed the ball 275 metres straight up the fairway.
Excellent the pro beamed.Now try it again but this time take the club out of your mouth.