Limericks

A chess virgin who was highly rated
Lived alone and was very deflated
"With the girls I play badly
Try to lose and yet sadly
I never end up getting mated"

(I am actually quite proud of that one)

The Lone Ranger and sidekick are back
Playing chess, with Tonto as black
d4, Knight f6
Then f3 in the mix
Tonto said "That's a Paleface Attack!"

A young chap who lived in Bombay
A chess game he wanted to play
He found Red Hot Pawn
To the site he was drawn
Now he castles all night and all day.

you guyz are making poems about chess
but limericks are usually about sex
yer playing with yer king
like he'z a doggone queen
and gawd knows what else you've repressed



i am truly embarrassed...
rookie

Old chess joke rehashed

"If there's no chess in heaven t'would be bleak"
Said greenpawn who is somewhat antique
God said "Chess up here is bliss
But the less good news is
You down for a match Tuesday week."

Of towns in Hungarian ambit
A chess pro did not know a damn bit
"To begin where is best?"
In the end he just guessed
And started a Budapest Gambit

Of all of the limericks here placed
Not one has so far disgraced
The game or a member
But then I remember
That just may fly in my face.

At a chess match we hear all their mocks
"They have pieces, but never a box"
But the ladies they grieve
As we get up and leave
With our bishops tucked into our socks."

I could do this all day.

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
Of all of the limericks here placed
Not one has so far disgraced
The game or a member
But then I remember
That just may fly in my face.

Anand just couldn't say,"with" or "and."
Cause he thought his opponent was head-in -sand,
He plied for times
Wanting the dimes,
And got the win with a move by 1 hand!

Originally posted by kevcvs57
There was young man called Stees
He played most of his chess on his knees
Refusing to stand
His gambits he planned
All the while not paying his fees.

-Sorted-

Fed Flintstone had a pawn on e2
It stayed there till move 22
Then on move 38
the pawn delivered mate.
Yabba Dabba Doo!

Originally posted by greenpawn34
(try for chess limericks.....it's a chess site.)

The once was player here called Anand,
Who play another here call Gelfand,
Their games were a bore,
For draws they did whore,
In the end we had them both banned.

There was a chess player called Stan
He considered Himself the main man
He checked and He mated
the opposition he slated
Until he beat all the Mod's 'n' got banned

Originally posted by SwissGambit
Fixed.