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Originally posted by Moldy CrowAn Eskimo pushes his broken down skidoo into the local garage. The mechanic has a quick look at it, turns to the Eskimo and says:
Why does Red Night go to Tupperware parties? He's looking for a tight seal.
"Hmmm.... looks like you've blown a seal."
The Eskimo shakes his head and replies "Errr... no, that's just the frost on my mustache."
Originally posted by Moldy Crowif you insist,
Common! Let's hear them.
two tournament champions are discussing their victories. After many hours, the manager tells them to stop and they reply why? the manager says because he doesn't like
chess nuts boasting in an open foir
the pun is chestnuts roasting on an open fire
second one,
a woman gives birth to twins, they are both put up for adoption one goes to portugal and is named jaun(wan) the other is named amahl, and sent to egypt, years later the mother gets a picture of juan and sighs and says, i wish i had a picture of amahl, her husband says why? you've seen juan you've seen amahl!
the pun, you've seen one you've seen em all!
Originally posted by Moldy CrowWill this one do?
Common! Let's hear them.
A man walks into an adult shop and asks for a blow up doll.
The man behind the counter asks male or female, to which the customer replies female.
Black or white the man asks, to which the customer replies white.
Muslim or christian the shop owner asks.
Whats religion got to do with it the customer asks.
The Muslim one blows itself up.
Non- Racist because I added Boom Boom.
Love yourself and your neighbor.
Originally posted by cashthetrashA man comes up before a Judge who reads the charge of killing a bald eagle, which is endangered species as well as the USA's national symbol. The judge says, "These are serious charges. Can you give me any reason why I shouldn't throw the book at you?"
Baby seal goes into a bar, the Barman says "What'll it be?".
The seal replies "Anything but Canadian Club on the rocks!".
Man- "Yes, Your Honor. I was lost in the wilderness, starving. I felt near death. Then I saw this eagle accidentally crash into a tree, and break it's neck. Seeing as it was already dead, and I was starving I decided to eat it. As I was just half way through eating him, this kind Game Warden found me, arrested me and rescued me at the same time."
Judge- "Ok. Under THOSE kinds of circumstances, I'll let you off. You're free to go. But tell me 1st, what does eagle taste like?"
Man- "Not as greasy as Spotted Owl, but much more tender than California Condor.