Originally posted by eagles54Well, I find that a lot of things in life require a conscious effort. No one gets good at anything except by patient trying.
And how do you do that? Many people don't know how to love themselves. It's seems like words without substance unless you can give practical direction in how to accomplish self-love.
Tell yourself you're a good person.
Be outgoing.
Compliment other people.
Always have a kind word.
Smile.
Don't confuse self-love with egoism.
Wish other people well.
Wish good things for yourself.
Work hard.
That would probably be a good start.
Originally posted by Red NightThank you. Okay. Now we're getting somewhere. You have to remember that many, many people have no idea about how to tell themselves they're a good person, for instance. Every point you made is worthwhile, but how many can really do those things with any consistency? So the focus also has to be on how to do these things for ourselves and others.
Well, I find that a lot of things in life require a conscious effort. No one gets good at anything except by patient trying.
Tell yourself you're a good person.
Be outgoing.
Compliment other people.
Always have a kind word.
Smile.
Don't confuse self-love with egoism.
Wish other people well.
Wish good things for yourself.
Work hard.
That would probably be a good start.
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Originally posted by eagles54Probably true.
Thank you. Okay. Now we're getting somewhere. You have to remember that many, many people have no idea about how to tell themselves they're a good person, for instance. Every point you made is worthwhile, but how many can really do those things with any consistency? So the focus also has to be on how to do these things for ourselves and others.
Here's an example. I'm a golfer. Most good golfer's I know use some sort of self-affirmation practice on the course, particularly on the greens.
When you look at a putt, you tell yourself you can make it. (I actually know a guy who tells himself he's a good putter.) I stroke the ball at a certain pace, follow through, the ball rolls over that blade of grass, starts breaking around that spike mark, breaks two inches to the left and drops in the hole.
You visualize the ball going in the hole. You even hear the sound in your mind.
Same thing in life, you visualize yourself behaving like someone who is happy with themself. You talk your way through the exercise. After a while it becomes second nature.
Originally posted by Red NightI agree with you. I'm fortunate to know how to do those things too, but many don't.
Probably true.
Here's an example. I'm a golfer. Most good golfer's I know use some sort of self-affirmation practice on the course, particulalry on the greens.
When you look at a putt, you tell yourself you can make it. (I actually know a guy who tells himself he's a good putter.) I stroke the ball at a certain pace, follow through, the ball rol ...[text shortened]... themself. You talk your way through the exercise. After a while it becomes second nature.
"Wish others well." That's a great point. Wishing for others' happiness is enlightened self-interest. Nothing wrong with that!
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Originally posted by eagles54You make a great point. There is a certain circularness to the whole process. It's like that Movie "A Beautiful Mind;" the optimum result occurs when everybody does what's in there own best interest and in the groups best interest.
I agree with you. I'm fortunate to know how to do those things too, but many don't.
"Wish others well." That's a great point. Wishing for others' happiness is enlightened self-interest. Nothing wrong with that!
How many times have you seen someone try to succeed by making everyone else look bad, It usually works for awhile and then collapses. The truly successful person strives to make everyone else look good!
Originally posted by Red Nightred, do you take happy pills or something? no one is that happy
You make a great point. There is a certain circularness to the whole process. It's like that Movie "A Beautiful Mind;" the optimum result occurs when everybody does what's in there own best interest and in the groups best interest.
How many times have you seen someone try to succeed by making everyone else look bad, It usually works for awhile and then collapses. The truly successful person strives to make everyone else look good!
Originally posted by chess player 323No, I don't take happy pills. You don't just start out that happy and drugs don't work. It's a conscious exercise to make yourself happy!
red, do you take happy pills or something? no one is that happy
Try this: go around smiling and saying nice things to people, including strangers, for a week and then tell me how you feel.
Originally posted by Red Nightyou scare me, i will stick to brooding in my little dark room, strangers?? are you crazy? i still think you're unnaturually happy, you must have a nondepressing life
No, I don't take happy pills. You don't just start out that happy and drugs don't work. It's a conscious exercise to make yourself happy!
Try this: go around smiling and saying nice things to people, including strangers, for a week and then tell me how you feel.
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Originally posted by chess player 323I've had a lot of things go well in my life and a lot of things go wrong.
you scare me, i will stick to brooding in my little dark room, strangers?? are you crazy? i still think you're unnaturually happy, you must have a nondepressing life
Kindness to stangers is an absolute key. If you do this, the rest will fall into place. You'll feel good about yourself and other's will feel good about you!
Want to meet girls in a bar or a club? Go in and be nice to everyone.
And don't be scared: Remember the other guy is as scared of you as you are of him.
Originally posted by Red NightMost guys think about baseball while doing it, but it sounds like you're catching on to the self-love thing just fine with the golf thing.
Probably true.
Most good golfer's I know use some sort of self-practice on the course, particularly on the greens.
I stroke the ball at a certain pace, follow through, the ball rolls over and drops in the hole.
You visualize the ball going in the hole. You even hear the sound in your mind.
After a while it becomes second nature.