Originally posted by moweutNow I may be paranoid, but this largely reflects some of the thoughts that sprang to mind when I originally received this proposal.
c99ux, you seem to have master the openning gambit exquisitely, but what is your exit strategy? how do you get out of the door without her behaving like you have just murdered the one and only baby she is ever likely to have. how to you stop her from engaging the yaku in a hit contract with your name on it? how do you stop her male relatives from physical ...[text shortened]... ow of. however I must admire your exceedingly well deveolped people/verbal communication skills.
Originally posted by moweutHey, set up the exit strategy before you walk in the door. Same as in chess, you want the end result to be to your liking. If you start a game against me, and I have 4 queens, 4 castles, and four Apocalyptic horses, and you only have your king and a single pawn, what do you think the outcome is going to be? Unless you're that Jean Herbet guy, or someone like Bowmann, you're gonna lose, mate.
c99ux, you seem to have master the openning gambit exquisitely, but what is your exit strategy? how do you get out of the door without her behaving like you have just murdered the one and only baby she is ever likely to have. how to you stop her from engaging the yaku in a hit contract with your name on it? how do you stop her male relatives from physical ...[text shortened]... ow of. however I must admire your exceedingly well deveolped people/verbal communication skills.
Marriage is an agreement, with lots of clauses and expectations attached. You set up your own expectations and rules and conditions of entry (kids, money, love, honour, obey, cook, sex, etc.) before you sign the papers, don't you? OK, joke time, although you've probably heard this one before:
The young woman was going through the wedding practice, but she couldn't remember the order of things: Walk up the aisle, stop at the alter, sing the hymn, then do the vows, say "I do", ask him if he does, exchange the rings, and it's all over and the fat lady can sing, walk out of the church, have a nice holiday and live happily ever after. The poor lady just couldn't remember anything except "Aisle, Altar, Hymn..."
As an exit strategy, always say "Look, if this all goes pear-shaped, we just walk away, right? No arguments, and let's stay friends..." That should work.
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Originally posted by c99uxyou make it sound as easy as falling of a bike🙂
Hey, set up the exit strategy before you walk in the door. Same as in chess, you want the end result to be to your liking. If you start a game against me, and I have 4 queens, 4 castles, and four Apocalyptic horses, and you only have your king and a single pawn, what do you think the outcome is going to be? Unless you're that Jean Herbet guy, or someone like B just walk away, right? No arguments, and let's stay friends..." That should work.
i, and i am sure many others would, and obviously do find the initial negotiation of terms and agreements difficult enough in their native english, now add to that the language barrier, miscommunication, and preconceived cultural difference that are assumed to be common values when they are indeed not, also close family expectations and legal agreements that you misread/misunderstood or didnt know existed. if you have successfully negotiated this mine field on numerous occasions across a number of cultures, without blowing your foot off, you are in my book a very extraordinary man indeed. as for me, i am closer to retiring as a life long bachelor than i am of ever exploring that mine field. i find I now prefer the comercialized personal interactions-transactions to be much less dangerous and stressful in the right background culture, even to the extent of refusing the non commercial when it is proffered/avaiable.
perhaps your tallents are being wasted as an english teacher ever thought of setting up as a marriage/personal guidence advisor?
I don't know much about this sort of thing, but some of my friends my age have married women in their early 30's. It appears to me that there is a trade off here. The older man gives the younger woman security and lots of things she couldn't afford... She in turn screws him to death (takes a few years) and ends up set for life. 😵
But what a way to die, eh?
Originally posted by asromacalcioI know a thing or two about this. It really comes down to whether or not you know this person well enough to trust them with the big things in life. For example, if you are hoping that your family will help you get a house or something in the future, that house will be half hers in English law, irrespective of any prenuptual agreement which are not worth the paper they are written on. How will your family feel about this?
My Russian teacher has asked me to marry her. No, she doesn't fancy me, she just wants to get into the UK. I said NO!
I understand this is quite common among Russian girls.
She doesn't see the problem, but there are, at least, ten major reasons why this would be a very very stupid move, for me. (One of them is that I've seen prettier girls in Stok ...[text shortened]... ng people without telling people.
Has anybody been proposed to by somebody in this way?
Will she agree to a divorce when the time is right, or will her family manipulate her into getting everything she can out of you?
You are wise to be cautious my friend.
Originally posted by asromacalcioyes, my ex-wife only chose me so she could get away from her family
My Russian teacher has asked me to marry her. No, she doesn't fancy me, she just wants to get into the UK. I said NO!
I understand this is quite common among Russian girls.
She doesn't see the problem, but there are, at least, ten major reasons why this would be a very very stupid move, for me. (One of them is that I've seen prettier girls in Stok ...[text shortened]... ng people without telling people.
Has anybody been proposed to by somebody in this way?