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Originally posted by clive59AFAICT, it's "a haiku" - the 'h' is pronouonced, after all - and unlike the vast majority of wannabe haiku that are posted about on the internet, that one is actually a haiku, not a senryu, and not a bad one at that. Well done.
A haiku (is that AN haiku?)
As the snow does fall
The trees bereft of their leaves
Flakes fall to the ground
Richard
Originally posted by Shallow BlueWhy thank-you (modestly).
AFAICT, it's "a haiku" - the 'h' is pronouonced, after all - and unlike the vast majority of wannabe haiku that are posted about on the internet, that one is actually a haiku, not a senryu, and not a bad one at that. Well done.
Richard
Originally posted by clive59It's a haiku!
A haiku (is that AN haiku?)
As the snow does fall
The trees bereft of their leaves
Flakes fall to the ground
I think, in a technical sense.
It's very condensed, the first and third lines overlap partially. For a seventeen syllable poem, that's asking a lot! I would say the imagery is a little confusing: conjuring up a winterscape in the first line, then introducing some aspects of fall (autumn). The reader is presented with a comparison: autumnleaves/snowflakes. I'm not even sure if that's allowed in a haiku!
After all that rot: I found it a good read and reread. A word like 'bereft' is well chosen, I think.
And I'm happy to find poetry hidden under unsuspect(ing/ed?) threads!
Originally posted by Yoroboton the contrary, it's spot on, nailing down the exact moment of the fall turning into winter. which is exactly what a haiku is supposed to be. a momentary observation of natural phenomena.
I would say the imagery is a little confusing: conjuring up a winterscape in the first line, then introducing some aspects of fall (autumn). The reader is presented with a comparison: autumnleaves/snowflakes. I'm not even sure if that's allowed in a haiku!