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10 Jan 11
Originally posted by clive59AFAICT, it's "a haiku" - the 'h' is pronouonced, after all - and unlike the vast majority of wannabe haiku that are posted about on the internet, that one is actually a haiku, not a senryu, and not a bad one at that. Well done.
A haiku (is that AN haiku?)
As the snow does fall
The trees bereft of their leaves
Flakes fall to the ground
Richard
10 Jan 11
Originally posted by Shallow BlueWhy thank-you (modestly).
AFAICT, it's "a haiku" - the 'h' is pronouonced, after all - and unlike the vast majority of wannabe haiku that are posted about on the internet, that one is actually a haiku, not a senryu, and not a bad one at that. Well done.
Richard
10 Jan 11
Originally posted by clive59It's a haiku!
A haiku (is that AN haiku?)
As the snow does fall
The trees bereft of their leaves
Flakes fall to the ground
I think, in a technical sense.
It's very condensed, the first and third lines overlap partially. For a seventeen syllable poem, that's asking a lot! I would say the imagery is a little confusing: conjuring up a winterscape in the first line, then introducing some aspects of fall (autumn). The reader is presented with a comparison: autumnleaves/snowflakes. I'm not even sure if that's allowed in a haiku!
After all that rot: I found it a good read and reread. A word like 'bereft' is well chosen, I think.
And I'm happy to find poetry hidden under unsuspect(ing/ed?) threads!
10 Jan 11
Originally posted by Yoroboton the contrary, it's spot on, nailing down the exact moment of the fall turning into winter. which is exactly what a haiku is supposed to be. a momentary observation of natural phenomena.
I would say the imagery is a little confusing: conjuring up a winterscape in the first line, then introducing some aspects of fall (autumn). The reader is presented with a comparison: autumnleaves/snowflakes. I'm not even sure if that's allowed in a haiku!