Originally posted by wormwoodmany shades of death
on the contrary, it's spot on, nailing down the exact moment of the fall turning into winter. which is exactly what a haiku is supposed to be. a momentary observation of natural phenomena.
very soon to be replaced
by one shade of white
Hows that for a fall- winter haiku?
Originally posted by Scotty70I think that's more of a renku, as it's gloomy and obviously about humans? but I'm no fan of structured poetry, so I'm not sure what the actual form should be... someone will probably correct me soon.
many shades of death
very soon to be replaced
by one shade of white
Hows that for a fall- winter haiku?
1 edit
Originally posted by wormwoodnope...its about winter...shades of death are fallen leaves of many colors and white is snow. Interesting interpretation on your part, though
I think that's more of a renku, as it's gloomy and obviously about humans? but I'm no fan of structured poetry, so I'm not sure what the actual form should be... someone will probably correct me soon.
Originally posted by wormwoodYes, a momentary observation... etc, is the definition of a haiku. My problem with this particular one is that the comparison in it, is implicit. It is the fundamental part of the poem, it carries its import. A haiku-master might make a comparison, like so:
on the contrary, it's spot on, nailing down the exact moment of the fall turning into winter. which is exactly what a haiku is supposed to be. a momentary observation of natural phenomena.
The falling flower
I saw drift back to the branch
Was a butterfly
by Arakida Moritake
The "I" in the poem is all important. It acts as the vessel through which the observed phenomenon takes on meaning. The phenomenon becomes emotionally charged, because the "I" has the ability to make it his own, through a comparison (a confusion!). Now we have a poem, rather than a mere observation.