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Not even worth the rental fee...

Not even worth the rental fee...

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DS
I'm A Mighty Pirate™

PaTROLLING the forum

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Recently, I seem to have developed the amazing talent of going into my local DVD rental store and picking out the worst and most depressingly dull movie on it's shelves. I really don't know what it is, I'll walk in and like a homing missle I'll be lured over and pick up one of these DVD's, read the back of it and then think "Yeah, that sounds alright. I'll get this one!" There must be some market genius out there laughing at my misery of being tricked into actually paying to watch some of the tripe they've promoted with their superb advertising prowess.

So in light of this, I've decided to put my misery of wasting my time, money and effort to some good use by letting other people know what movies not to rent out...

My top 3 of movies NEVER to watch:

1. Aussie Park Boys
2. Napoleon Dynamite
3. Starship Troopers 2

Anyone else want to through in their 2 cents and let me know what other movies that are out and about now that I shouldn't bother renting out?

N

The sky

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(I'll get slaughtered for this one...)

Matrix

<runs and hides>

s
Geek

Behind you...

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I will never watch The Punisher again. I've seen freakin hundreds of movies, surely over a thousand, and that's the only one I will never watch again. It's written by some guy who completely gets off on being sadistic as hell. It's absolutely terrible, the story is awful, and it makes you feel really bad during and after viewing it. Lots of movies end on down-notes, espicially movies from the 60s and 70s, but those at least leave you with the sense that you watched a good movie with a good story, at least the good ones do. But The Punisher gives you nothing but sadistic killings and misery. Avoid it.


-Kev

a

omnipresent

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Originally posted by Nordlys
(I'll get slaughtered for this one...)

Matrix

<runs and hides>
*raises eyebrows, looks around and shrugs*

well, my vote goes to anything recently in the movies that's aimed at 13-year olds. Really, I let my little sis drag me into one... you know, the one with Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda?
It was crap. Total, uttermost crap. The only funny thing was Jane Fonda being a real bitch. J Lo just sucked (as always), and obviously, there was a happy end with everyone being nice... avoid it if you can. Unless, of course, you enjoy having that feeling that everyone around you has completely lost touch with reality....
Seriously. My standards with movies are not high, I can enjoy most movies even if they aren't very good. But it seems to me that movie charts, just like music charts, are not what they used to be.

shavixmir
Lord

Sewers of Holland

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The Snake man.

It was as bad as it sounds.
In fact, I'm not really sure that's the actual title. That's how bloody awful it was.

g
Wayward Soul

Your Blackened Sky

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saw a teen movie last night called "saved". it was, i think, meant to be a parady on american radical christains. it was just weird and pretty silly. not sure if the ending was happy or not.

however, it was either that or "ghost rig", a rip off of ghost ship (which itself is pretty bad). i found a giant trampolene and played on that all night-'twas much more fun than the films!

P
Upward Spiral

Halfway

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Originally posted by Nordlys
(I'll get slaughtered for this one...)

Matrix

<runs and hides>
It always looks good to slander the Matrix, even if it's usually bandwagon jumping without substantive arguments.

Sicilian Sausage

In your face

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Originally posted by Palynka
It always looks good to slander the Matrix, even if it's usually bandwagon jumping without substantive arguments.
It was rubbish though. Admit it.

N

The sky

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Originally posted by Palynka
It always looks good to slander the Matrix, even if it's usually bandwagon jumping without substantive arguments.
Bandwagon jumping? I thought I was the only one who hates it. I bought it because I had heard so many people recommend it, and because the story sounded interesting. But they didn't really make much out of that story, it seems to be all about violence and special effects. It was mostly the violence which put me off, I barely managed to watch the whole thing. The DVD wasn't expensive (it was on sale), but I think I should have been paid rather than pay for watching this film.

K
Strawman

Not Kansas

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Originally posted by seraphimvulture
I will never watch The Punisher again. I've seen freakin hundreds of movies, surely over a thousand, and that's the only one I will never watch again. It's written by some guy who completely gets off on being sadistic as hell. It's absolutely terrible, the story is awful, and it makes you feel really bad during and after viewing it. Lots o ...[text shortened]... But The Punisher gives you nothing but sadistic killings and misery. Avoid it.


-Kev
Sort of like Reservoir Dogs? Stupidest damn stagey piece of crap I've ever seen.

Amaurote
No Name Maddox

County Doledrum

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Originally posted by Nordlys
Bandwagon jumping? I thought I was the only one who hates it. I bought it because I had heard so many people recommend it, and because the story sounded interesting. But they didn't really make much out of that story, it seems to be all about violence and special effects. It was mostly the violence which put me off, I barely managed to watch the whole thing ...[text shortened]... ve (it was on sale), but I think I should have been paid rather than pay for watching this film.
I don't think the fanbase of The Matrix is as loyal as it used to be: there were plenty of better-scripted Demiurge storylines around before it (notably Tron and even Total Recall), and Dark City is a much better realization of its themes. It's the Blade of that particular subgenre - very stylish, but completely empty.

S

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Originally posted by Amaurote
I don't think the fanbase of The Matrix is as loyal as it used to be: there were plenty of better-scripted Demiurge storylines around before it (notably Tron and even Total Recall), and Dark City is a much better realization of its themes. It's the Blade of that particular subgenre - very stylish, but completely empty.
What? No I mean seriously, what?

Tron and Total Recall? Are you mad? Tron was only noteable for the use of effects, otherwise, not only the story, but also the acting are awful. Total Recall has some of the worst acting I have ever seen, the story is utterly predictable and the cinematography isn't even as good as Tron. Dark City, whilst visually appealing and somewhat interesting lacks any real depth and fails to hit the mark in terms of darkness or intensity. And Blade, stylish? The only people that could find Blade stylish are those that frequent C&A.

HoH
Thug

Playing with matches

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Shawn of the Dead... truly a lame ass movie.... but, I feel compelled to watch it every time it comes up on HBO... obviously I'm not well.

r
Ginger Scum

Paranoia

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Shawn of the Dead...
That's a classic!

My two worst films:

Wes Cravens Wishmaster - Key quote: "Granted" 😞

The Core - words cannot describe how bad this filim is 😞

P
Upward Spiral

Halfway

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Originally posted by Nordlys
Bandwagon jumping? I thought I was the only one who hates it. I bought it because I had heard so many people recommend it, and because the story sounded interesting. But they didn't really make much out of that story, it seems to be all about violence and special effects. It was mostly the violence which put me off, I barely managed to watch the whole thing ...[text shortened]... ve (it was on sale), but I think I should have been paid rather than pay for watching this film.
It's obvious that there are hundreds of films worse than the first Matrix and the fact that you chose to name it appears to me just as another pseudo-intelectual that rejects it because it made a lot of money, ergo it cannot be good.

The first Matrix was/is/and it will be a staple film in the genre. You may not like it, but if that level of violence puts you off you are probably missing out on a lot of excellent films.

It reminds me of a people who defend that "the real directors" should follow Trier's (and Vinterberg's) Dogma Movement. It's even a subversion of what Trier and Vinterberg intended, which was a set of rules for themselves and for those willing to adhere to them, not a denial of all other forms of film-making.

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