It's time for an update, and finally some good news for my family. My oldest daughter (just turned 18) has finally decided she wants to live with me. This didn't come without her mom and step-dad putting up one of the biggest fights to keep her home. I did have to call the local police department to ensure she was able to leave peacefully, and it necessary as her mother made every threat, guilt trip, insult, and so on, to keep her home. Add to it, she also made it very very difficult for her to call me to let her leave. literally trying to force her to stay. This includes making it as difficult as possible for her to get withdrawn from school, so she may attend school where I live. keeping her ID and SS cards because she "paid" for them. taking and keeping her favorite clothes for the very same reason. Her step-dad has added comments on her My-Space account to have her eliminate pictures of her sisters because she was no longer part of her family. Attacks on me and my wife personally, and so forth. I am trying to teach my daughter to take the high road on this as he can no longer touch her, but to also stand her ground to keep her sisters pics. as they are her family no matter what he says. They have also forbidden my daughters from talking to her. ( I am taking this up with DCF here ).
Now I am not stupid, I know that wanted to leave so that she can get her way, and she had a quick realization that I won't let that happen, after all I pay the bills, I make the rules, and she will have to deal with that, but I am treating her like the young adult she is. She is doing what she can to help out, get her education, a job, and preparing to become an independent person. I am proud of the steps she is taking, as well as the respect she is showing us in our house.
Now to get my last 2 girls here.
Originally posted by KJCavalierSalute you, KJC. Stay on the 'high road'.
It's time for an update, and finally some good news for my family. My oldest daughter (just turned 18) has finally decided she wants to live with me. This didn't come without her mom and step-dad putting up one of the biggest fights to keep her home. I did have to call the local police department to ensure she was able to leave peacefully, and it necessar as well as the respect she is showing us in our house.
Now to get my last 2 girls here.
Originally posted by KJCavalierGood on you KJ, its tough in the first place that kids have to go through the mess of a break up (talking from experience) but im glad your 18y/o saw sense.
It's time for an update, and finally some good news for my family. My oldest daughter (just turned 18) has finally decided she wants to live with me. This didn't come without her mom and step-dad putting up one of the biggest fights to keep her home. I did have to call the local police department to ensure she was able to leave peacefully, and it necessar ...[text shortened]... as well as the respect she is showing us in our house.
Now to get my last 2 girls here.
I wish you every success in your new found challenge, however big it maybe im sure the rewards are more than gratifying.
Originally posted by KJCavalierWhy the fight? What motivation does the mother have to both alienate and try to keep the daughter close at the same time? The child is 18 and will shortly have to fend for herself to a large degree. I don't get it. It's like beating a dog and still expecting him to cheerfully greet you when you get home. Stupid dog.
It's time for an update, and finally some good news for my family. My oldest daughter (just turned 18) has finally decided she wants to live with me. This didn't come without her mom and step-dad putting up one of the biggest fights to keep her home. I did have to call the local police department to ensure she was able to leave peacefully, and it necessar ...[text shortened]... as well as the respect she is showing us in our house.
Now to get my last 2 girls here.
Things like this make me look at my own young daughter, give her a big hug and pray that nothing similar ever befalls us.
I hope things go well for you and your daughter and hope both stay on the high road indeed. Like HoH I give my kids a big hug and pray for family peace. Explore counseling services in your area to assist in undoing any alienation issues created by the ex! DCF probably has a referral list. Make every effort at maintaining contact with the younger girls and help your 18 y.o. stay in touch with her sisters. If there is a visitation order make sure you pursue enforcement if you are not allowed access to your younger girls.
Originally posted by Hand of HecateHand, There are things to date that don't make any sense. Why keep a child dependent upon you for their every need? You would think that you would want to instill independent thinking as to have your child aspire to be more than you are. At least that is my way of thinking anyway. The only thing I can even come close to figuring out is they needed someone to watch the baby (9 y/o) still, be a slave to the house, A punching post, etc.
Why the fight? What motivation does the mother have to both alienate and try to keep the daughter close at the same time? The child is 18 and will shortly have to fend for herself to a large degree. I don't get it. It's like beating a dog and still expecting him to cheerfully greet you when you get home. Stupid dog.
Things like this make me look at my own young daughter, give her a big hug and pray that nothing similar ever befalls us.
Please don't get me wrong. I do know full well my oldest is no angel. She has made big time mistakes that thankfully haven't ruined her life. But at least, so far anyway, she is coming around rapidly to show herself more than anything else, she isn't trailer trash, or a cheap piece of meat for boys to exploit. (I probably said to much just now)
She is a good kid who really wants to become something better than another charity case. I believe she has learned that it is better to give to charity than to become one.
Here is another thought, Why turn this into a contest at all? The winner/loser is the children. Shouldn't we strive at all levels to help our children not repeat our mistakes. And why does there have to be a loser. I never once turned this into a contest. (At least least I don't think I have, I am human though) Why not allow your children to know fully what your parents have to offer? Why contently run another into the ground? My oldest has seen the truth for her own eyes. My youngest has as well. She will be with me again soon enough. I am not the ogre my ex has tried to make the girls believe. I am a loving and caring father who only wants the best for my kids.
On a different note. I love being called Daddy again.
Originally posted by scacchipazzoIt has all been in play since well before this thread started. You would have seek out a much older thread to catch up completely with this story
I hope things go well for you and your daughter and hope both stay on the high road indeed. Like HoH I give my kids a big hug and pray for family peace. Explore counseling services in your area to assist in undoing any alienation issues created by the ex! DCF probably has a referral list. Make every effort at maintaining contact with the younger girls a ...[text shortened]... tion order make sure you pursue enforcement if you are not allowed access to your younger girls.
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Originally posted by KJCavalierWell done KJ. I hope things continue to progressively go your way...
It's time for an update, and finally some good news for my family. My oldest daughter (just turned 18) has finally decided she wants to live with me. This didn't come without her mom and step-dad putting up one of the biggest fights to keep her home. I did have to call the local police department to ensure she was able to leave peacefully, and it necessar ...[text shortened]... as well as the respect she is showing us in our house.
Now to get my last 2 girls here.
KJC I've just finished reading the thread you linked to. I wish I had something comfurting to say, but I don't. I've never been in your position, thankfully.
Here, for what they're worth are my thoughts- I have three doughters and a son, my doughters have the same age gap as yours do.
I've read books of horrific childhoods and always hopped there was someone somewhere in these peoples lives who loves them. You are that person here.
I met a lady last night at the party who had her first child at 14 and her partner beat on her and she lost her oldest three sons and she has just her youngest two at home now. The courts systems in the UK aren't as they should be either.
I am a Christian too and I beleive in the power of the Holy Spirit. I've been looking for a Bible verse that says about God's heart breaking with ours when we hurt and the Holy Spirit comfurting us, I remember reading them when my freinds baby died but I can't find it now.