A man walks into a club and applies to the Manager to be a lounge pianist. The Manager asks him, "Are you any good? Let's hear a few tunes."
The pianist gets on the keys and starts to play a gorgeous little jazz ditty. The Manager is highly impressed and say "I like that. Is that one of your own?"
"Yep", replies the pianist.
"What's it called?"
"It's called 'Your c*&^ sister has *&#^s the size of Michigan."
The Manager stands stunned for a sec, then double takes and says, "Uh, okay. Well, play me another one." This time the pianist begins to play a soft, romantic piece.
"I like that one, too. Perfect for the ambiance here. What's that one called?"
"My Mother's v$#%&a smells like a Carp's a$$"
The Manager laughs and says "Okay listen, if I give you the job you have to agree to never say the names of your songs while you're performing to my clientele. Deal?" The pianist agrees and begins work the next night.
Needless to say, the pianist slays the crowd that night with his repetoire of crowd-pleasers. Once he finishes one of his slower numbers he gets up to use the lavatory. When he returns the crowd can't help but notice his fly is undone and his penis is hanging right out for all to see.
"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen for your kindness. I'd like to play for you..."
A member of the audience interjects, "Do you know you're d!ck is hanging out of your pants?"
The pianist looks at the crowd and says, "Know it? I wrote it!"
🙄