Puns for educated minds

Here is a start:

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?'
The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

Math quiz: What did the Zero say to the Eight? ..... "Nice belt."

One book to another book.
You look so much thinner! Thanks! I had my appendix removed.

These are puns even I can understand. 🙂

What did the 8 say when it lost its balance?

"Help, I've fallen into infinity!"

What did the numerator say to the denominator?

"I am so over you."

A car battery walked into a bar.

The bar tender said don't start anything.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was
Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

"Where do Cockney bakers live? The Yeast End."

One morning a Worm wandered into a bar and was promptly thrown outside by the Barkeep who then gave the Worm that well identified "one finger" gesture, proving conclusively that "it's the early worm that gets the bird".

If Red Hot Pawn was founded by a relocated Canadian whose ancestry traced back to Nova Scotia or New Brunswick French colonists who settled these Canadian maritime provinces, instead of Russ, what do you think this online correspondent chess site would be named? Cajun Prawn. Louisiana and UK Born CP Members would, respectively, rule and rue the day.

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
If Red Hot Pawn was founded by a relocated Canadian whose ancestry traced back to Nova Scotia or New Brunswick French colonists who settled these Canadian maritime provinces, instead of Russ, what do you think this online correspondent chess site would be named? Cajun Prawn. Louisiana and UK Born CP Members would, respectively, rule and rue the day.

How many times can you subtract 9 from 100?

Originally posted by LEUR
That's so rouxd