Go back
RbMorris Roast of the century

RbMorris Roast of the century

General

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by rbmorris
I'd say the ultimate insult is that I'm being roasted in broken English by Red Night's "lil helper": Trashy, the unpaid forum intern with a harelip and a noticeable limp. No amount of bald jokes will overshadow this grave injustice.

Do I have a say in who runs this thing? If so, I'd like to nominate HoH.
HoH is busy so forwarded your message. Is this a thugging, or a ridiculing that's called for?

Edit: steady on there, i'm a little out of practice...


Originally posted by rbmorris
I'd say the ultimate insult is that I'm being roasted in broken English by Red Night's "lil helper": Trashy, the unpaid forum intern with a harelip and a noticeable limp. No amount of bald jokes will overshadow this grave injustice.

Do I have a say in who runs this thing? If so, I'd like to nominate HoH.
rbmorris, I'm flattered that you'd nominate me to run the roast. However, there's really very little to roast you about. While you churn out the occasional flurry of witty one liners, in reality, any interaction with you is a very thin and insubstantial experience at best.

There is simply nothing tangible about you, you're an insignificant bit of fluff, a half remembered thought, a veritable distasteful fart that vanishes in the wind. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing, intellect on the offensive, but, it is nothing without follow through. You're, fundamentally, just a drive by superiority complex.

Your posts, and my lasting impression of you, reminds me of a white and brown dog that I saw mangled at the side of the road. While a common enough experience, it always takes me by surprise. A mild feeling of shock wells up in me involuntarily and, somehow, inevitably, leaves a void behind it. This void is an unanswered question. You are the unanswered question.

I have a lasting and extremely vivid impression, a vision if you will, of this dog cast upon my mind. As I hurtled past, speeding on my way to (k)nowhere, the dog flashed up on the side of the road, framed by an elegant border of lush green grass. A streak of blood stained its fur and, but, for an unnatural stillness, it could very well be sleeping peacefully. Passing the poignant scene of tragedy, the shock is all you have to hold onto and you're left to wonder in sadness. Wonder about the story of the dog. Everything it was, is, or will be is gone and even the story is lost to the observer.

We can only speculate. This dog, a beagle perhaps, was it someone's faithful companion, did it sleep at the feet of a young child and guard his or her dreams at night? Was the dog courageous, did it love its family, what favorite chew toy is left untouched? Who will find the lonely, broken beast, will tears be shed, will nature find the empty shell and will maggots, crows and creeping things feast as the day draws to a close? What other carnage has this sad event wrought as it ripples through the anonymous lives of others? Unanswered questions.

This is your legacy rbmorris, your hurtling, unstoppable, hit and run legacy of sarcastic wit and shallow wisdom. So, I have no bald jokes for you, no funny stories, no amusing anecdotes, no mindless and trivial witticisms, there aren't any, because you're fluff. You're the Alpha and the Omega of nothing. The end of the road to nowhere. Division by zero. The answer to all quests for the nature of God.

Regards,

The Hand.

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
rbmorris, I'm flattered that you'd nominate me to run the roast. However, there's really very little to roast you about. While you churn out the occasional flurry of witty one liners, in reality, any interaction with you is a very thin and insubstantial experience at best.

There is simply nothing tangible about you, you're an insignificant bit ...[text shortened]... n by zero. The answer to all quests for the nature of God.

Regards,

The Hand.
Tell me honestly. Did you "shake the dog"?

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by rbmorris
Tell me honestly. Did you "shake the dog"?
OH NO YOU DIDN'T GO THERE!

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by rhb
HoH is busy so forwarded your message. Is this a thugging, or a ridiculing that's called for?
Either one, really. I'm easy.

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by Crowley
OH NO YOU DIDN'T GO THERE!
Ha!

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by rbmorris
Tell me honestly. Did you "shake the dog"?
No this time. However, I did recently come across a goat with it's head stuck in a fence.

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
rbmorris, I'm flattered that you'd nominate me to run the roast. However, there's really very little to roast you about. While you churn out the occasional flurry of witty one liners, in reality, any interaction with you is a very thin and insubstantial experience at best.

There is simply nothing tangible about you, you're an insignificant bit ...[text shortened]... n by zero. The answer to all quests for the nature of God.

Regards,

The Hand.
That was so beautiful I almost cried. That's the HOH I know. You've inspired me once again.

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by rbmorris
Either one, really. I'm easy.
It seems HoH was merely busy replying...

D'ya reckon a thridicugging is still in order?

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by rhb
It seems HoH was merely busy replying...

D'ya reckon a thridicugging is still in order?
Of course a 'thridicugging' is in order. I assume this refers to making rbmorris cry in some fashion?

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by cashthetrash
That was so beautiful I almost cried. That's the HOH I know. You've inspired me once again.
Spin on it you numpty.

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Of course a 'thridicugging' is in order. I assume this refers to making rbmorris cry in some fashion?
Thridicug whoever you like, so long as its cashthe'tard.

Edit: oh, you already have

Edit 2: is the edit counter broke again?

2 edits
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by rhb
Thridicug whoever you like, so long as its cashthe'tard.

Edit: oh, you already have

Edit 2: is the edit counter broke again?
Did you lose your sign again?

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
rbmorris, I'm flattered that you'd nominate me to run the roast. However, there's really very little to roast you about. While you churn out the occasional flurry of witty one liners, in reality, any interaction with you is a very thin and insubstantial experience at best.

There is simply nothing tangible about you, you're an insignificant bit ...[text shortened]... n by zero. The answer to all quests for the nature of God.

Regards,

The Hand.
Rec'd.


Hand, perhaps the finest flight of language and sustained play of mind you have ever posted. It pretty much preempts my own read...


.............................


In one of Garrison Keillor's recent "Praire Home Companion" Saturday evening radio shows (on NPR/entertaining website as well) his holiday

theme monologue concluded with a line about experiencing pumpkin pie: "There really isn't that much difference between the best and the

worst pumpkin pie you've ever had. Pumpkin pie is just an excuse to use nutmeg." Substitute vacuous for nutmeg and rbmorris for the pie.




😀

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Did you lose your sign again?
Yeah, must've left it at your mum's place. Again.